Looking for work in today's job market for an middle-aged woman

debodun

debodun

SF VIP
Location
way upstate in New York, USA
There's a woman in my church that recently lost her job (for reasons unknown to me) and she is trying to find another. She has given the impression that she is desperate and even stood up at one service and gave a tearful plea for prayers to help her find work. People have been trying to help her, but every suggestion made to her has been rebuffed (e.g. "That's not really the kind of work I'm looking for."). I can't understand her attitude; it seems to me in these circumstances, she is kind of fussy. If a person is desperate, they might take any job just to get by while they continue to look, but she is very particular what type of work she wants (administrative, pays good, doesn't require much physical effort and is within 10 miles). Heck, if I could find a job like that, I'd go back to work! Any opinions on this woman's situation?
 

Yes, I agree! If I were really desperate, I would take what I could get! I would clean toilets or cook if I had to and anybody that knows me, knows I am NOT fond of cooking. I can do it, but if I have a choice, I'll do something else! It doesn't make sense. Just my opinion.
 
Health care worker or flipping burgers, her choice...
 

Yes, but the government will provide it. Our community college has all levels of training, gratis...
 
To get back to topic…...... debodun, I think there is something strange going on with this woman. I’m not saying it’s your or anyone else’s responsibility to analyze her – quite the contrary.

Yes, as you and AprilSun said, if she’s desperate she should take whatever she can get…do whatever is necessary to earn money. Since she’s refusing to do that, I wouldn’t waste any more time on her.

......
 
I spoke with a few people at Bible study about her situation and they said, in effect, "She will never find a job". Many have stopped trying to help her because of her impossibly high criteria and constant refusal to pursue our leads. I feel sorry for her, but a middle-aged, morbidly obese woman would probably not appeal to most employers who are looking for young, ambitious go-getters.
 
Well, debobun, I'm not sure her age or her weight are holding her back as much as her attitude. I haven't even met her, but if I was a prospective employer her general attitude would turn me off.
 
debodun said:
I spoke with a few people at Bible study about her situation and they said, in effect, "She will never find a job". Many have stopped trying to help her because of her impossibly high criteria and constant refusal to pursue our leads. I feel sorry for her, but a middle-aged, morbidly obese woman would probably not appeal to most employers who are looking for young, ambitious go-getters.
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I imagine she KNOWS this and therefore makes up reasons to NOT pursue something she feels certain she will not get.
 
I just can't understand that if she is really desperate, how can she afford to be so picky about the job she takes? It doesn't add up in my book.
 
I agree that it's mostly her attitude holding her back. If I really wanted a job, I would take anything that wasn't dangerous. You shouldn't feel too sorry for her, sounds like she's playing on people's sympathies.
 
It's possible that after losing her job, the woman has also lost her self-confidence, especially if she is very overweight, and if she has been comfortable in her job for some time, the new situation would be very threatening. Being middle aged makes it difficult too, although some claim it is a myth, I believe that there does exist age discrimination as well as discrimination about body weight.

I think she probably needs to see an employment counselor at her local unemployment office to work out what she is qualified to do and make a plan for maybe some re-training or upgrading, which might be government funded if she qualifies. Friends and church members might mean well, can offer leads, but only she can do the work of finding a new career/job.
 
Before becoming an RN 23 years ago, I worked a lot of low paying and what I consider menial jobs. Cooking in nursing home, housekeeping, laundry. Cannery for two seasons. I managed to support myself. Now as I contemplate when I'll quit this line of work and do something else, I don't think I'm above anything. And I do worry about someone hiring me. Fast foot is probably one of the only things I won't do because I don't eat meat.

I think this woman, if she really wanted to work, could find something. Craig's list has all kinds of jobs listed. Believe me, I've looked. :)
 
jujube said:
Sounds like she doesn't really want a job.
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or she's not broke enough yet - i.e., she has enough savings or credit to keep afloat, or someone's helping to support her.

Kitties said:
Before becoming an RN 23 years ago, I worked a lot of low paying and what I consider menial jobs. Cooking in nursing home, housekeeping, laundry. Cannery for two seasons. I managed to support myself. Now as I contemplate when I'll quit this line of work and do something else, I don't think I'm above anything. And I do worry about someone hiring me. Fast foot is probably one of the only things I won't do because I don't eat meat.

I think this woman, if she really wanted to work, could find something. Craig's list has all kinds of jobs listed. Believe me, I've looked.
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People need to be very careful responding to jobs listed on craigslist. While some (a few) may be legit, many are scams, fabricated, personal ads masked as job vacancies, and there have been several murders resulting from craigslist job ads.

AARP and other organizations have programs which help people over 50 find jobs. But first the person has to apply. This woman seems to be looking for excuses not to even bother.
 
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AND, the woman may have to accept the fact that her ideal job simply does not exist, especially in the area within which she is willing to travel.

Many years ago, when I was a military dependent, I had to take what I could get if I wanted a job. Employers back then (and probably now) were reluctant to hire a military wife (who they knew would be moving within three years or even sooner) for a job for which they needed a permanent employee. A fact of life I just had to accept.

When you need work, you take what you can get, especially in today's lousy job market -- I know several people who are seriously underemployed, but they have taken less than ideal jobs just to keep food on the table.

Perhaps the lady needs to consider going to a community college or something to get training for jobs that are hiring.
 
applecruncher said:
or she's not broke enough yet - i.e., she has enough savings or credit to keep afloat, or someone's helping to support her.



People need to be very careful responding to jobs listed on craigslist. While some (a few) may be legit, many are scams, fabricated, personal ads masked as job vacancies, and there have been several murders resulting from craigslist job ads.

AARP and other organizations have programs which help people over 50 find jobs. But first the person has to apply. This woman seems to be looking for excuses not to even bother.
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Wow. I hadn't considered that regarding jobs. I do know several legit buisness that advertize on Craig's list because I recognize them. My present employer also advertizes on them. I noticed Walmart was hiring from craig's list. But it's a good thought to be very cautious.

My cats came from a craig's list ad. I spoke with the woman twice and then met her at the Walmart parking lot. That's how I got my kitties!
 
If it sounds too good to be true on Craig's list, then it probably is. We had a case in the Orlando area a few years ago where a guy was advertising for a young lady to be a nanny to his children and offering a larger-than-usual salary. Turned out that all he wanted to do was meet with young woman and ask them very "personal" questions. Guess he got his jollies that way.
 
I have to agree, Butterfly. It’s free, no verification is required, it’s not monitored. Lots of crime associated with Craig’s List (as I already mentioned upthread).

Sure, there are some legit ads, but so many of the ads are scams and weirdoes. I bought something from CL years ago before things got strange…I would hesitate before doing it now. Once your name and address/phone # is out there, anything can happen.
 
Butterfly said:
I'd be VERY cautious of anything on Craig's List. Just too many bad guys using it as bait.
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That's the truth. About a year or so ago, there was a couple that placed an ad on Craig's List looking for a classic Mustang. They received a call with a "potential" seller, NOT, and went to meet him somewhere and he killed them. He never had a Mustang to sell! There is not a word bad enough to describe this kind!
 
aprilsun said:
that's the truth. About a year or so ago, there was a couple that placed an ad on craig's list looking for a classic mustang. They received a call with a "potential" seller, not, and went to meet him somewhere and he killed them. He never had a mustang to sell! There is not a word bad enough to describe this kind!
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that's horrible!
 
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