Losing online friends over the years

Marie5656

Marie5656

SF VIP
Location
Batavia, NY
I wanted to start this separate thread with thought I have had since our forum friend, Gaer has passed.
I have been online since the 90s. Made many "online" friends over the years..meaning people I have met through forums such as this.
I think most every forum I have belonged to has lost treasured members. I thought of how attached we come to these people...though in most cases we will never know them outside of message boards, or places like FB. I am amazed at how much myself and others have been touched by these people we have never met.

We may shed a tear or two, think back on memories and why we became attached to these folks.
Due to the nature of THIS forum...with us being Senior...I am sure we will suffer many more loses. I still think of many who have passed.
I know when my time comes, if I am still active here, I have plans for my niece to come in and let you know. But I am not leaving any time soon

 

Like you Marie, I've been a member of forums now for 30 years and in several of those we've lost people to death

On the Uk forums I've met up with groups and individuals over the years, we've had dinner or lunch together. on other occasions and other people we've gone shopping together at Christmas malls.. we've gone as a group of ladies to the beach .. I've even met the families of some of these people.. One time I even went to a beach wedding of forum members.. .. so having known them on the forum as well as off, it's very hard when they pass.. and worse if they disappear and we don't know what happened..
 
I was a member of an internet forum from about 2012 to about 2016. One member died of cancer in 2014, and another a year later in 2015. The first was a woman and the second was a man. But both were people who I shared laughs with on line, and they became on line friends. You do miss them, even though you never meet them in person. There were a few others over the years, now that I think about it.
 

I always think of online friends as the up to date version of a Pen Friends, we do indeed become very attached although we never have, or probable will, meet in person

I appreciate my online friends as much as regular friends and my daughter will let them know if anything should happen to me, but like you Marie, I’m not planning on going anywhere soon ! 😊
 
The first member to die on this forum.. that I remember was Ina.. She and I met on a previous forum to this.. and we'd had similar childhoods . She was Native American.. and had a fairly traumatic adulthood as well.. and got pretty sick in her 60's and died ... she was a great loss to the forum...
 
I have a lot of affection for the people here on SF.

It has been very sad to have lost both Gaer and Shalimar, so close together. They were very special in their own way .. as are, every one of us.

I've asked my daughter to post a note here, in the event of my demise. However, I don't plan on leaving this mortal coil anytime soon.
 
Online friends (and before that, regular pen pals) have been closer to me than "in person" friends for many years now. I find online friendships more sincere and closer... I really do. There's sharing that in person friends just don't often do. I have three [what used to be] very close friends... but since Facebook became so popular, there's rarely any interaction. It's like everyone's off in their own world.

As for Senior Forums, I've only been here for just under a year and a half and I've felt some losses. I've also missed some people that I don't know if they're losses or not because they just disappear. I know there could be many reasons, but you always wonder, ya know? Sassy, Chet, Salty (Old Salt), Rob... well, I'm not going to name everyone, but I do feel it on a personal level because everyone I come in contact with touches me in some way. When they're just not there one day, it's felt. 🥺
 
It is very hard to lose friends, even online friends.
I thought a lot about Shalimar and Gaer these past few days.
I too wonder about online friends when they stop writing.
I get very attached. I feel we share a lot of feelings when we are online and it brings a certain closeness between us. It makes us a big family, therefore I care a lot about its members!
 
I miss online friends who dropped off the face of the earth. Some I talked to every day. When you just have words, you share a lot about yourselves. It was nice tho to log in every day and know we were out there listening when we could. Some just faded away, some just ended it for whatever reason; some with an apology. "It's been fun but....". Life changes..
 
I’ve been here just over 6 years and have definitely lost what I considered friends. I lost my original account when aunt marg left.

Some have passed away and some just left never to be heard from ever again. Both ways tug at the heart.

I’m not easy to be-friend so am extra grateful when I do find friendships. My husband knows that I’m on this site so if anything happened to me he would share the news.
 
I'm considering leaving this forum after the passing of Gaer.

I'm 58...one of the younger posters and my heart couldn't take it if a bunch more of you died. Of course, I could pass away tomorrow...when you're pushing 60 and anything can happen.

I really have to think about this.
 
Beezer said:
I'm considering leaving this forum after the passing of Gaer.

I'm 58...one of the younger posters and my heart couldn't take it if a bunch more of you died. Of course, I could pass away tomorrow...when you're pushing 60 and anything can happen.

I really have to think about this.
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@Beezer
We all leave this earth at some point in time. Hopefully, later, than sooner.
I would miss you very much if you choose to leave. However, I will respect your choice.
 
Beezer said:
I'm considering leaving this forum after the passing of Gaer.

I'm 58...one of the younger posters and my heart couldn't take it if a bunch more of you died. Of course, I could pass away tomorrow...when you're pushing 60 and anything can happen.

I really have to think about this.
Click to expand...
Please consider that many would feel the pain of your leaving. head_bang.gif

@Marie5656, thanks for the very heartfelt video, made me tear up badly, but I've come to know that that type of pain of the heart defines the importance of human caring. Garth Brooks did a song back in the late 80s, "The Dance" which hit me especially hard at the time, during a divorce. An older song- The Seekers - "I'll Never Find Another You" is similarly about loss of the heart.
 
Even though we may leave this earth one day, remember that we leave our thoughts and words behind for others to read on these forums. @Gaer has left a part of herself here on this forum and has touched so many lives positively as a result. Even though I feel her loss, I know she is in a good place. If I ever think about her, or miss her, I can go back and read her ideas, see her art, etc, on this forum. In a way, she and others who have left before her, like Shalimar, are still here with us.
 
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Nathan said:
Please consider that many would feel the pain of your leaving. View attachment 339873

@Marie5656, thanks for the very heartfelt video, made me tear up badly, but I've come to know that that type of pain of the heart defines the importance of human caring. Garth Brooks did a song back in the late 80s, "The Dance" which hit me especially hard at the time, during a divorce. An older song- The Seekers - "I'll Never Find Another You" is similarly about loss of the heart.
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True. I'd miss you @Beezer.
 
There are lots of people who we meet online. It’s always sad to see them go, especially since we’re seniors.

I still think of an online friend on the anniversary of his death. It’s been a decade now. There have been others who I know are gone and others who I think about at times.
 
Online friends are very important especially in our senior years when we start to lose our in person friends. Forums give seniors regular interaction with others since the older we get the smaller our social circle. When people just disappear I wonder what happened to them.
 
While on the subject I’d like to give a shout out to a dear friend, no longer with us and very much
mIssed, the cheeky, loveable Ferocious, I’m sure he’s still causing havoc somewhere ! x

IMG_1089.jpeg
 
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I was very good friends with someone on another forum. We got along very well, he had a great sense of humour and we had a lot in common. This went on for a couple of years when he said he had a terrible fall in his driveway and spent a week in hospital. I immediately wrote back and said to keep in touch to let me know how he was getting along. Never heard anymore after sending several emails. I have a terrible feeling he has passed away. It's the not knowing that makes it so distressing.
 
hollydolly said:
I think for many people ,the reason is possibly because they interact...every day, whereas very often with families and RL friends the interaction isn't so often..or so regular
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Yes... plus the fact that often even with RL friends and family, the interaction these days is with text and/or emails, so on that level, it's exactly the same... typed words.
 

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