Loving others for their faults, (though willful faults are a challenge!)

[grahamg]

I believe we can all love someone "for their faults", (or in spite of their faults to put it another way, and probably that's not a controversial thing to say because everyone has them dont we!).

However, when someone is willful as to whatever it might be makes life difficult for you, (or the other person in the relationship, to apply this argument to everyone), such as when "putting you down" regularly, or all the time, then this isn't so easy to cope with is it, not least because you'd have to think the reason for putting you down is an attempt to make themselves look superior all the time, as well as undermine you and your confidence.

In saying all this it is mainly friends of mine, (or so called friends as I often call them!),...., male friends I mean, who seem to practise this behaviour most often, and its not just directed at me, but everyone they come into contact with I'd say.

Really good friends dont do this obviously, or not very often if they do, but in a marriage I'd suggest all kinds of weaknesses in each of us can be exposed, and sometimes I'd suggest there is a need to try to love the other person, even when they're willfully trying to undermine you on occasion.

 

[Tish]

I surround myself with positive kind and understanding people.
That being said I am 100% in your face with honesty, when it comes to emotional, mental, or physical abuse, you only get one chance with me.

I guess I like and respect myself too much to compromise and simply won't!

Too many people fall for the honeymoon period in a relationship, and when things start to unravel or the Rose-colored glasses begin to fall, they will stay with someone in the hope that the Honeymoon person will return.

I don't give my heart away lightly and I never lose myself in that person.

 

[Blessed]

There is not a person living that does not have a fault or problem area. When we choose a spouse and even friends there will come a time you will see their problem areas. I have my own, but I try my best to be a kind thoughful person. I don't like to see others abuse or be abused. There are cases, where problems are not acceptable in any way. Each person must decide it and when that relationship has to end.

 

[grahamg]

I surround myself with positive kind and understanding people.
That being said I am 100% in your face with honesty, when it comes to emotional, mental, or physical abuse, you only get one chance with me.
I guess I like and respect myself too much to compromise and simply won't!
Too many people fall for the honeymoon period in a relationship, and when things start to unravel or the Rose-colored glasses begin to fall, they will stay with someone in the hope that the Honeymoon person will return.
I don't give my heart away lightly and I never lose myself in that person.

I'd say I'm pretty much surrounded by negative idiots, so that doesn't say much for me does it, (though I can certainly see the sense in what you try to do!).

 

[grahamg]

I don't think it necessary to start a new thread in order to mention what is probably a "side issue", but in the UK a faming couple who have become very well known on our tv screens, (with their nine extremely bright and engaging children), managed to allow their marriage to split up in the last few months.

Their whole story from when the couple first met, with the woman visiting the farmer working on a very remote farm, one track up to it etc., then there was the fact of an age difference between the couple, (he'd been married before), and very quickly this young woman falls for the guy, and without any farming experience at all, takes on everything it entails with great gusto and courage.

She's ended up so famous here she can do lecture tours, or at least tell her life story to packed venues, and sell the books she's written about what seemed an absolutely wonderful lifestyle!

The lady is obviously tough, and known by farming friends who have met her as a good business woman, but the point here, without judging her, or her husband, (who comes across very well indeed on tv), somehow their differences have overwhelmed their marriage, and even for the sakes of their nine children couldn't be resolved!

That's quite something isn't it, and how it all turns out we'll just have to see, but seemingly having everything going for you/them, cannot cure all ills so far as relationships are concerned.