Meeting people.

fuzzybuddy

fuzzybuddy

SF VIP
Location
The Sticks, Northeast PA.
I'm almost 71. I'm disabled. I have good days and very bad days. And I have a small window of the day to be active. My family lives 250 miles away. Even the place I used to work has closed and the employees-my friends, have scattered. This is all leading up to the fact my circle of friends isn't huge. I tried our local seniors group, but they meet from 11-2. You get a meal and they get all bent out of shape if you don't show up-because it's a wasted meal. I do understand their side. Yet, I can't promise that I'll be there. I really don't know where else to go. People want more from me than I can give.
 

Much the same boat(80 and disabled), but more fortunate in that I am happy in my own company, and on the rare occasions I feel like company I find the world is full of friends I have not yet met.

Been invited to a supper and ceilidh in the local school in a couple of weeks, and a couple of gays later I have a date with a lively widow lady, my first date in nigh on sixty years, so take heart!
 
Even if you are not disabled, it's a lonely existence.

But we do have our internet and although everyone is anonymous it's still company.

I'm lucky. There is a group of us seniors, which I call the Senators because politics always comes up, that meets every morning and everyone checks up on each other.
 

If you like to read,, libraries offer opportunities for meeting people and have book discussion groups. They always meet in the mornings if that's one of your "good" times and never get bent out of shape of you miss meetings. Your local churches may also have activities for seniors. You don't have to be religious.
 
fuzzybuddy, I'm sorry about the attitude at the senior group. I would hope they would be more understanding and accommodating. I would also think any left over foods not used could be taken home by the volunteers. I may be wrong.

I've never done well in groups. I wouldn't join a crafting class etc, because I wouldn't feel I fit in. I don't really have any ideas. I work full time and at least like some of the people I'm around. Dislike others. I've been a little worried how I'll be in full retirement myself.
 
Kitties said:
I've never done well in groups. I wouldn't join a crafting class etc, because I wouldn't feel I fit in. I don't really have any ideas. I work full time and at least like some of the people I'm around. Dislike others. I've been a little worried how I'll be in full retirement myself.
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Ditto! Groups of people render me mute. If I absolutely MUST go somewhere where there are going to be a lot of people, I'll wear something that helps me melt into the woodwork. I do okay one-on-one, but crowds? Count me out.

Unless you live in the same place you've always lived (or at least lived for many years) and have established friendships, it's not easy to make new friends. By the time we're older and retired, people already have their friends and being included as a newbie is just pretty darned unlikely. I don't even try anymore. Yeah, I know. Means I spend a lot of time alone.

Fuzz...is there a Meals on Wheels program where you are? The people who deliver are there five days a week and do spend a little time on each delivery. Besides, the food is usually pretty good and enough to eat half and save the other half for your supper. Is there a senior services office? They might be of some help putting you in touch with a carer who comes in a couple of times a week to help out, take you shopping or to appointments, or just to hang out and play chess. You won't know what's out there unless you investigate.
 
I used to go to the local senior center, just for coffee and chit chat but all those people have been in the area a long time and have their own cliche. I find some agreeable chatter on irc channels and would really like to do the one on one in a chat room if anyone is interested???
 
I'm almost 71, too, and part of the problem is my friends are dying off like flies, and I find that incredibly depressing. Just last week, they finally put my across-the-street friend in a nursing home because she almost burned the house down (truth be told, she doesn't know what's going on around her most of the time, nor does she really know WHO is around her most of the time).
I've been thinking of going back to the senior center to see if anything more interesting is going on there than there was last time I was there.

I do things, I'm just looking for some more (interesting) things to do.
 
"I've never done well in groups."

Me neither. I'm a subscriber to the old adage "Teamwork is a bunch of people doing what I tell them to"!

Too busy enjoying myself to be lonely, a home should be a refuge, not a cell.
 
I'm another one that has trouble making new friends for all of the reasons mentioned by other folks.

I've been looking at my situation more closely and I think that I have been throwing up some roadblocks and sabotaging my own efforts to make friends and meet new people. I find that when an offer to attend a function or participate in an event presents itself I start by dragging out my list or reasons why it can't possibly work for me. I'm trying to make an effort to set the baggage aside, just show up to see what happens and how it goes. It is still painful and awkward for me to head into an unfamiliar group event by myself but I'm starting to make the effort. Last week I dipped a toe in at a benefit event for an old friend and this week I'm headed for a church basement to hear a presentation on local history that is being given by an acquaintance. The one thing that both of these events has in common is that I'm doing them to show my support for another person. That may over time strengthen my relationship with them and the people that they surround themselves with, we'll see. So far nobody has pointed and laughed or run away screaming when I've entered the room and shaking up my daily routine has not caused me any lasting damage, LOL! I'm going to keep pushing myself for a few months to see if it makes a difference in my life to be out and about or if my comfortable old rut is really the best place for me.

My niece sent me this little bit of encouragement. I'm giving it a try but it ain't easy!!!

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,I've never done well in groups'
I've never felt really happy in crowds or groups,as well!
It's good to read,I'm not alone with my feelings.I very seldom feel lonely and enjoy my retirement to the full.:)
 
About the meals at the senior center. They are government programs. If they get, say, 30 meals; they have to have 30 warm bodies there to eat them. I have to cancel the day before, so they get only 29 meals. But I don't know how I'll feel till I get up that morning. If 30 meals are sent and they only have 29 seniors, it's a big deal. The politics involved!!!!
The meals are very good and nutritious. But I'd rather eat my hot dogs. Ya know-old, crotchety, set in my ways.
I'm happy being with myself and this forum really helps. Thanks.
 
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