As I near age 80, (a few years away), the subject is dear to my heart. With genetics woking against me, Alzheimers is not just a "fear", but a work in progress. I am keeping a journal, just for myself, to be able to look back as long as I am able, and to measure the progression.
I look at this from a different perspective... not as one who is worried about "getting" AZ, or having to deal with parents, friends or relative who have it... but from learning how to accept it, and deal with the progress.
First, Alzheimers is not an on/off disease, the way you would turn on a light... but more like a dimmer swtch. The only real question is how fast the slide into the serious and debilitating inevitable helplessness.
I try not to give advice, as everyone is different, but some thoughts on my own situation:
-On testing, or doctor's diagnosis - No! To what gain? Perhaps drugs to delay or extend the onset... but at best, current phamacology offers only a slight delay.
-The second part of this "no diagnosis" is the downside that it presents. Friends and relative "hovering" and watching for every indication of problems. Bad enough that I have short term memory problems, but the most irritating thing about that is the constant
"OH... everyone has memory lapses... You don't have a problem ". I am dreadfully afraid I'm going to do something drastic to the next person who says that. I know what my situation is, and really resent this apologia.
-The next part is the internal struggle, to live a normal life, and to begin developing way to cope with the coming years. It's the short term memory that causes the most problems. I honestly don't think that the deep seated intellect is affected. The interest in learning, if anything, is more intense than ever. Curiosity and problem solving has become more entrenched. Perhaps with less pressure from the day to day memory requirements, I am left with more time to pursue knowledge as goal. A happy side effect.
-Freedom... this may be the biggest part of the "no diagnosis" insistance. Once a medical decision has been reached, it becomes a death knell to freedom. I have yet to meet anyone with any degree of Alzheimers who voluntarily accepts the restrictions that come with that life sentence ... This accounts for the struggle that families have in getting loved ones to be diagnosed.
Just imagine... no car... no going out alone... sideways glances always... So no thanks... I'm fine.
-A side note... about Alzheimers and Intelligence... I'm not sure there's a connection between the problems associated with AZ and intelligence... especially in the early stages. Probably so with regard to the testing... intelligence as measured by verbal and cognitive and physical tasks, but not basic intelligence. In my own case, measurements of 140 to 150 have been the case. I am sure that a written test today would probably be below average, though I don't believe it measures the thinking power or the deep cerebral connections for reasoning and problem solving. This could change.
-The time line... wow... the biggest question. I'd like to think it will be measured in years... hopefully 5 to 10 years, but am prepared for whatever happens.
As we go along, am thinking to use my journal for reflection and measuring the progress. In any case, in no rush to die.
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Sharing a short story that I heard long ago, that represents my outlook on life.
I am in the hospital, where I was brought after an automobile accident. I am in bed, hooked up to tubes and wires. For some reason, I cannot move. Seems like I've been here for a while. Not so bad, I'll rest up, and wait for the Doctor to release me. I smell flowers... yeah, on the bedstand next to me. Oh, oh... here comes the nurse... Pretty little thing... she acts like I'm not here... Oh well...
Actually, not so bad... I can see out the window... birds in the trees... flowers... and I don't hurt at all... Not so bad...
Wait!... here comes the doctor. And my wife and kids. Musta took the day off... didn't need to, I'll be home for dinner. They look awful, like maybe the dog died or something. The doctor's talking to them.... he's sorry... Sorry about what?... I'm fine, look at me... I feel very good... What's that? What test? What does he mean, brain dead?.... And now the family is crying, and leaving... Hey wait... wait... Here comes the doctor back again... What's he doing with that plug... Hey... don't... Hey... wait.. Hey...
