Met someone, is it real or is it a catfisher

Ruthanne

SF VIP
Location
Midwest
They try to romance you out of your money. But if you want you can turn the tables on them and romance them to keep them hanging on thinking they will get you to give in. Just keep saying "NO" and protect your info an you should be fine But, when they start asking for financial info they are catfish! Don't give them anything. They will try to guilt you and beg you, etc. I think it gets really funny if you don't take the relationship seriously. One guy wanted me to pay nearly $5000 to get his personal luggage back here! He posed as a doc without borders in Syria. Watch out for the overseas mashers. ;)
Thanks for that. I've run across those types and have gotten rid of them.
 

StarSong

Awkward is my Superpower
Yes, from a dating site that I have been on. I have been on google chat with him for about a week. He came up clean when I scanned him at Social Catfish. You never know though. We still were chatting until he asked me to open an investment account for "us". HAHAHAHA
This can be fun depending on how you look at it. I love saying "No!" 🤣
Be careful. More than one person has been badly burned while intentionally playing with fire for entertainment purposes.

It's folly to underestimate dangerous situations - or those who will perpetrate it. Don't imagine you're safe merely because you're communicating from inside your own four walls.
 

StarSong

Awkward is my Superpower
About catfishing: There is a friend of mine here in town WHO WAS MARRIED but fooling around on dating sites because she was bored with her husband.
(Yeah, I know)
Anyway, She met and went out with many men. Then she found THE ONE on line. They had a hot passionate affair on line.
He said he was "stuck in England" and needed $500 to pay someone he owed money before he could leave for the states.
She sent it. A few months later of hot romance, he said he had to pay a friend $1200 for some equipment in England.
Could he borrow it? he will ABSOLUTELY pay her back in two weeks because he has money coming in and then
they can be together! She sent it.
He called her and told her he finally had all the money to pay her back. How can he send it so her husband doesn't find out?
Of course! He asked for her bank account number and he will wire it in direct deposit. She gave it.
Next afternoon, she went to the bank to see if it was deposited.
Her bank account was wiped out. Her husband's business account was emptied. Their mutual account was emptied!
Her husband divorced her right away. She moved in with her sister and is bankrupt. and heartbroken.
What a terrible situation for your friend and her husband. My father-in-law was scammed out of at least $10K by a Jamaican theft ring who chatted up this lonely, kind, trusting widower.

The perpetrator(s) were absolutely relentless and without conscience. Thank heavens FIL's part-time caregiver realized something bad was happening and tipped my husband off. It got ugly - they even sent people to his house to try to take him to his bank.

God only knows how that might have gone down had the CG not been there and paying attention.
 

Packerjohn

Packerjohn
Location
Canada
I have always said that regardless of the fact that everyone is starring at their smartphones all day of using the computer, you still can't beat the good ole' dating system. It takes time to get to know someone. You can't do this using some sort of dating app. Go for a walk, take them to a restaurant, meet the inlaws and outlaws, meet the kids if there are any, watch them to see how they react to problems, have a glass or 2 of wine, help them to shop for groceries. Do whatever it takes but invest time with your partner. The "Everybody wants it NOW!" system doesn't work if you want a lasting and meaningful relationship.
 

IFortuna

Member
Location
Texas
Be careful. More than one person has been badly burned while intentionally playing with fire for entertainment purposes.

It's folly to underestimate dangerous situations - or those who will perpetrate it. Don't imagine you're safe merely because you're communicating from inside your own four walls.
Believe me, I am careful all the way through to my internet. Yours is good advice. We are all adults here though, I think, and we will all make mistakes and that is life. Wherever, we go we can put ourselves at risk. I don't play games, I ferret out the game players and report them. Their arrogance and hubris I find amusing especially when they are caught. I won't be a prisoner or held hostage by the bad actions of others in any sense no matter how much time I have left in life. I have a business card or introduction card, if you will, where my motto reads "AUDENTES FORTUNA JUVAT ", Fortune Favors the Bold. There I have tempted Fate and I leave it in God's hands. 😇
 

Tabby Ann

New Member
Location
Southern Indiana
Exactly what does 'catfishing' mean when pertaining to dating sites? I've come across a lot of questionable behavior there but not that particular word.
According to Google, the definition of Catfishing is luring a person into a relationship by means of a fictional on-line persona. I first encountered the term on the Dr. Phil show during a week of programs on widows who had sent their entire inheritance to Internet lovers they had never met in person. Some of these women had sent hundreds of thousands of dollars which could not be recovered after the Catfish disappeared.
 
According to Google, the definition of Catfishing is luring a person into a relationship by means of a fictional on-line persona. I first encountered the term on the Dr. Phil show during a week of programs on widows who had sent their entire inheritance to Internet lovers they had never met in person. Some of these women had sent hundreds of thousands of dollars which could not be recovered after the Catfish disappeared
Sad that this exists... I do understand the desperate feeling of not having a relationship and wanting one. I know people are venerable at these times. Just hope getting the word out and good legal action can control this...
 

Packerjohn

Packerjohn
Location
Canada
About catfishing: There is a friend of mine here in town WHO WAS MARRIED but fooling around on dating sites because she was bored with her husband.
(Yeah, I know)
Anyway, She met and went out with many men. Then she found THE ONE on line. They had a hot passionate affair on line.
He said he was "stuck in England" and needed $500 to pay someone he owed money before he could leave for the states.
She sent it. A few months later of hot romance, he said he had to pay a friend $1200 for some equipment in England.
Could he borrow it? he will ABSOLUTELY pay her back in two weeks because he has money coming in and then
they can be together! She sent it.
He called her and told her he finally had all the money to pay her back. How can he send it so her husband doesn't find out?
Of course! He asked for her bank account number and he will wire it in direct deposit. She gave it.
Next afternoon, she went to the bank to see if it was deposited.
Her bank account was wiped out. Her husband's business account was emptied. Their mutual account was emptied!
Her husband divorced her right away. She moved in with her sister and is bankrupt. and heartbroken.
I know everyone feels sorry for this woman but I don't. Come on, there is no limit to being stupid and she proves it. There are all sort of books and internet information on the dangers of internet dating. No excuse for not being educated. This woman reminds me of a cow standing by a fence and reaching over to eat the grass on the other side of the fence; imagining of course, that the grass on the other side is more green and more tasty! Can't blame the husband for divorcing her. I feel sorry for this husband but not for her. Perhaps the husband could of read a book or two on being a more attentive husband.
 

Bonnie

💦☃️🌧
 

win231

SF VIP
Location
CA
I know everyone feels sorry for this woman but I don't. Come on, there is no limit to being stupid and she proves it. There are all sort of books and internet information on the dangers of internet dating. No excuse for not being educated. This woman reminds me of a cow standing by a fence and reaching over to eat the grass on the other side of the fence; imagining of course, that the grass on the other side is more green and more tasty! Can't blame the husband for divorcing her. I feel sorry for this husband but not for her. Perhaps the husband could of read a book or two on being a more attentive husband.
It's quite common for women to make excuses for other stupid women.
Much like the other thread about the woman who dumped her newborn baby in a trash can & other women make asinine excuses for them like: "Well, she didn't know she was pregnant.....she was scared......she was confused.......she didn't know what to do.......her boyfriend left her........it's all his fault."
 

IFortuna

Member
Location
Texas
$500! What a creep! A man of no honour, that's for sure!
Also, wanted me to open an investment account so he could deposit his retirement, etc. BS. He did not stop asking although I told him "No," many times. Cut this one loose. This was after we had talked for a couple weeks and I was just waiting for him to ask. Didn't take long.
I think it is a waiting game. Just wait given enough time the truth will come out; it always does. They don't want to "waste" a lot of time so they can go on to the next one. ;)
 

Jeni

Member
I will never understand anyone willing to give/ "loan" money to someone they really do not know .....

Think this happens to both sexes
and the chances of falling for it depends a lot on your life perspective .....
If a person is one of those "it will never happen to me" types or people are generally good etc they fall for it.
If you are always cautious most avoid this but some may wonder if they are missing a chance it is a REAL person and the real deal.

it is no reflection on the victim ....many people have answered calls/ clicked on bad links/ bought some sob story .... think Men are just quiet about it ... women share their mistake to alert others
 

win231

SF VIP
Location
CA
I will never understand anyone willing to give/ "loan" money to someone they really do not know .....

Think this happens to both sexes
and the chances of falling for it depends a lot on your life perspective .....
If a person is one of those "it will never happen to me" types or people are generally good etc they fall for it.
If you are always cautious most avoid this but some may wonder if they are missing a chance it is a REAL person and the real deal.

it is no reflection on the victim ....many people have answered calls/ clicked on bad links/ bought some sob story .... think Men are just quiet about it ... women share their mistake to alert others
Sometimes, when someone is desperate for romance, they will do almost anything & fall for almost anything. Probably low self esteem is also a factor. I've heard it said that Love is like an hourglass; the heart fills up while the brain empties.
 

IFortuna

Member
Location
Texas
I will never understand anyone willing to give/ "loan" money to someone they really do not know .....

Think this happens to both sexes
and the chances of falling for it depends a lot on your life perspective .....
If a person is one of those "it will never happen to me" types or people are generally good etc they fall for it.
If you are always cautious most avoid this but some may wonder if they are missing a chance it is a REAL person and the real deal.

it is no reflection on the victim ....many people have answered calls/ clicked on bad links/ bought some sob story .... think Men are just quiet about it ... women share their mistake to alert others
These crooks are pros make no mistake. It happens all the time. They can spin a good story and even pose as a friend or relative. They will try to get you to go to Walmart or other place to get a debit card to send them. This also happened to me. When that didn't work he tried all the other stuff I mentioned previously. They always have a sob story. There are agencies for these crooks to go to and churches often have food banks as well. And, don't they have any relatives somewhere that may be able to help. They catch people off guard and sting them. They will persistently deny any lies or accusations. They try to wear you down. Despicable desperate people.
 

Jeni

Member
These crooks are pros make no mistake. It happens all the time. They can spin a good story and even pose as a friend or relative. They will try to get you to go to Walmart or other place to get a debit card to send them. This also happened to me. When that didn't work he tried all the other stuff I mentioned previously. They always have a sob story. There are agencies for these crooks to go to and churches often have food banks as well. And, don't they have any relatives somewhere that may be able to help. They catch people off guard and sting them. They will persistently deny any lies or accusations. They try to wear you down. Despicable desperate people.
I have seen these scams in action ..... I know no matter how apparent ..i personally find them ..
that YES people fall for it time and time again.
that is why the same ploys used over and over someone is falling for it.

I just would have cut contact the very minute money is asked for.... period.
No lets rephrase it or change the story to wear you down.

Most Cons are not desperate quite the opposite......... but more like they KNOW seeming desperate is what works and if you get someone else to pay for stuff it is often less time or effort then actually working......

In my area they have even found more then a few people ........with good cars/ houses.....................
dressing down and picking up a cardboard sign at an intersection etc....
as one person exposed said "people feel guilty....... thinking i fell on hard times and i make more money in a few hours then i would an 8 hour shift at whatever job they previously had.
 

Rah-Rah

Member
I totally believe in love and I do believe it can happen on these dating sites. I also believe these dating sites there are many risks you take with frauds and people trying to take advantage of you and that being said you must be extremely careful. Thank God I married my high school sweetheart and never had to go through any of this. I would have just stayed single.
 

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