Miscommunication

[debodun]

There was no mention of the weekday Bible study in the church bulletin. I sent an email to my aunt asking if I understood that there wasn't going to be a study. She said "Yes." Yesterday I received an email from her asking why I didn't come. I replied that she had confirmed there wasn't one. She said she had indicated that by a "yes" there was one. Now to me, asking if there wasn't going to be one and an answer of "yes" meant there wasn't one. I get confused sometimes.

 

[Timewise 60+]

Actually, being 'right' should not be that important!

 

[debodun]

Actually, being 'right' should not be that important!

That's not my point.

 

[hearlady]

I think I would have taken it as yes, your correct, there is no bible study.

 

[caroln]

I agree with @hearlady. Just saying "yes" is a rather cryptic reply. But if it were me, I would have replied, "yes, what? "

 

[DaveA]

There was no mention of the weekday Bible study in the church bulletin. I sent an email to my aunt asking if I understood that there wasn't going to be a study. She said "Yes." Yesterday I received an email from her asking why I didn't come. I replied that she had confirmed there wasn't one. She said she had indicated that by a "yes" there was one. Now to me, asking if there wasn't going to be one and an answer of "yes" meant there wasn't one. I get confused sometimes.

And the result was missing a Bible Study? Doesn't sound like something that should cause a stir with your Aunt or the Bible Study class.

Just hope that 's the worst of your worries this week.

 

[NorthernLight]

I think it's best to avoid negatives (e.g., "there isn't") when asking a question. Other examples include "Are you not feeling well?"

We also have to be careful with certain sayings that can lead to confusing responses. For example, "Would you mind" and "Do you mind."

Another one, which I encountered in my editing work: I'd ask something like, "Do you mean he forgot, or he didn't want to?" Some clients would answer "Yes." I learned to ask two separate questions, or to preface the two choices with (a) and (b).

 

[Murrmurr]

You're correct, Deb. And it's a shame you missed Bible study that week, but at least now you know you need to ask for clarification from now on....or ask differently.

It's kind of like when I asked my granddaughter "Are you gonna finish eating that, or not?"
and she said "Yes."

 

[Gary O']

I think it's best to avoid negatives (e.g., "there isn't") when asking a question.

Yeah, a simple question

'Is there going to be a bible study this week?'

Then, a 'yes' or 'no' leaves no confusion

 

[jujube]

There was the old schoolyard inquiry: "Do you want your nose any longer?".

Either way you answered, your nose was going to be grabbed and pulled.

Best response was to turn tail and run....

 

[Judycat]

Will there be Bible study this week?

Yes

No

 

[Magna-Carta]

There was no mention of the weekday Bible study in the church bulletin. I sent an email to my aunt asking if I understood that there wasn't going to be a study. She said "Yes." Yesterday I received an email from her asking why I didn't come. I replied that she had confirmed there wasn't one. She said she had indicated that by a "yes" there was one. Now to me, asking if there wasn't going to be one and an answer of "yes" meant there wasn't one. I get confused sometimes.

Looks like a few have completly missed the point of your thread.

 

[OneEyedDiva]

I understand the confusion when that happens. I would have come to the same conclusion as you did Deb.

 

[PeppermintPatty]

If it happens again just ask if there’s going to be a Bible study and maybe when you ask questions, say it back to her for confirmation. That way you are clear and both on the same page.

 

[Magna-Carta]

There was no mention of the weekday Bible study in the church bulletin. I sent an email to my aunt asking if I understood that there wasn't going to be a study. She said "Yes." Yesterday I received an email from her asking why I didn't come. I replied that she had confirmed there wasn't one. She said she had indicated that by a "yes" there was one. Now to me, asking if there wasn't going to be one and an answer of "yes" meant there wasn't one. I get confused sometimes.

I suppose a closed question as opposed to an open question would have helped. Does it look to you that you may have posed an open question, but the response was a closed answer. This then could have been seen as opposite to what the person answering meant.

In which case it leaves an answer of yes or no being interpreted as meaning the opposite. Because both people saw the question as meaning something different. The issue with open questions is that they are open to interpretation. Then that leaves the answer coming back also open to interpretation. Even if the answer is a closed answer.

A closed question: Is there Bible study (on which ever day). The closed answer should only be a yes or no. Which would then confirm the direct question.

Miscommunication takes two people or two parties when questions are being asked. Both have a part to play in the miscommunication. The difficulty arises then when neither parties take responsibility for the miscommunication.