Missing Loved Ones On and Near the Holidays

Ruthanne

Ruthanne

Caregiver
Location
Midwest
Oh, I know this topic comes up this time of year. Missing my parents and family who are departed and also the ones out west now. I have nice memories of prior holidays to think of. Time has passed so fast and we all get older. Trying to keep my chin up and find things to be happy about and grateful for seems to help.

What do you do to help you with missing loved ones?
 

My mother died a week before Christmas several years ago. Christmas has not been the same for us since then. We talk about her during the holidays and the different things she did. That helps us cope. I continue a tradition she started when we were young. She always gave us our own box of chocolate covered cherries. After she died I always send my brother and sister a box with their other gifts with a card that says "In memory of mama, I give you cherries" They say its their fav gift.
 
Nothing can take away the emptiness I feel around the holidays for my loved ones who have passed on but thankfully I have grand kids who make the holidays a happy time. We go to my daughters home so it is a totally different environment. I never forget my loved ones and on the holiday morning I quietly wish them a Merry Christmas, kiss the small photo I have of them and cry a bit. Then I move on to enjoy the day with new traditions and family members.
It would be to sad for me to try and duplicate holidays in the same way I did in years past but I will never ever forget them.
I wish everyone here who has lost loved ones comfort and joy during the holiday season.
 

Ruthanne said:
Oh, I know this topic comes up this time of year. Missing my parents and family who are departed and also the ones out west now. I have nice memories of prior holidays to think of. Time has passed so fast and we all get older. Trying to keep my chin up and find things to be happy about and grateful for seems to help.

What do you do to help you with missing loved ones?
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It's tough. My mother was the last one to die in their generation, and she's been gone since 2002. Things change, people shuffle around. Because of a lot of family gyrations in the last two decades, our once large TG dinner is usually around 6-7 now at my one sister's place.

My other sister, her hubby, and all their descendants (four generations) go to her in-laws for TG.

One hard lesson I learned as I got older was the old saying: "Nothing is forever."
 
terry123 said:
My mother died a week before Christmas several years ago. Christmas has not been the same for us since then. We talk about her during the holidays and the different things she did. That helps us cope. I continue a tradition she started when we were young. She always gave us our own box of chocolate covered cherries. After she died I always send my brother and sister a box with their other gifts with a card that says "In memory of mama, I give you cherries" They say its their fav gift.
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Yes, the holidays won't be the same again, it's hard, I know. I agree that talking about our loved ones helps. I love chocolate covered cherries. Your mom sounds like she was a sweet lady!
 
Ruth n Jersey said:
Nothing can take away the emptiness I feel around the holidays for my loved ones who have passed on but thankfully I have grand kids who make the holidays a happy time. We go to my daughters home so it is a totally different environment. I never forget my loved ones and on the holiday morning I quietly wish them a Merry Christmas, kiss the small photo I have of them and cry a bit. Then I move on to enjoy the day with new traditions and family members.
It would be to sad for me to try and duplicate holidays in the same way I did in years past but I will never ever forget them.
I wish everyone here who has lost loved ones comfort and joy during the holiday season.
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I know what you mean. I felt that emptiness this morning laying in bed and a deep sadness, too. Having other loved ones to celebrate with does help. Thank you for the comfort and joy.✨💜
 
Old Dummy said:
It's tough. My mother was the last one to die in their generation, and she's been gone since 2002. Things change, people shuffle around. Because of a lot of family gyrations in the last two decades, our once large TG dinner is usually around 6-7 now at my one sister's place.

My other sister, her hubby, and all their descendants (four generations) go to her in-laws for TG.

One hard lesson I learned as I got older was the old saying: "Nothing is forever."
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OD the time goes so fast in our lives and before we know it there are not many people left. My mom passed in 2003, I miss her a lot today. I'm glad you still have some family to be with.đź’—
 
My Mother died young a long time ago. I have no siblings and I felt no loss when my father died because we had no relationship. My Grandmother died in her time some many years ago. All of my aunts and uncles except one aunt lived good long lives and have gone as have all the cousins I was close with. The loss of my Son seven years ago is something I will never get over.

My beloved daughter and all my grandchildren make it worthwhile to continue living and I fill the holidays with them and my memories.
 
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Llynn said:
Especially single malt Christmas cheer
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Ruthanne said:
OD the time goes so fast in our lives and before we know it there are not many people left. My mom passed in 2003, I miss her a lot today. I'm glad you still have some family to be with.đź’—
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My family hasn't really gotten smaller, but the core -- my parents -- are gone so it's different. There is another g-grandson and a g-g-granddaughter that were born since my parents died -- so the young'uns kinda replaced them.

Oh well, this is life.
 
Llynn said:
My Mother died young a long time ago. I have no siblings and I felt no loss when my father died because we had no relationship. My Grandmother died in her time some many years ago. All of my aunts and uncles excpt one aunt lived good long lives and have gone as have all the cousins I was close with. The loss of my Son seven years ago is something I will never get over.

My beloved daughter and all my grandchildren make it worthwhile to continue living and I fill the holidays with them and my memories.
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I'm very sorry for all your losses and especially your son. I'm so glad you have a daughter and grandchildren and precious memories. đź’—
 
Old Dummy said:
thankyou.gif


My family hasn't really gotten smaller, but the core -- my parents -- are gone so it's different. There is another g-grandson and a g-g-granddaughter that were born since my parents died -- so the young'uns kinda replaced them.

Oh well, this is life.
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Yes, that's for sure.
 
I enjoy the memories that come to me during the holidays.

Sometimes I selfishly wonder if I have left the people that I love with memories that they will cherish in years to come.

Never miss the chance to leave a good memory in a child's life.

"Be proud of the memories you leave behind,
For one day you’ll leave them for others to find ..." - D.G. TORRENS
 
If the loved ones are dead and gone, then that is
sad most times that we think of them.

If the loved ones are alive and well, then we have
to learn patience, they have their own lives and
plans for the holidays, we might think, "will I ever
see them again", but we have to allow them their
freedom, the law of averages says that they will call
and visit more often if we keep quiet about wanting
them to visit, even discus with them would they like
to share the holidays with you and if so where, then
you might have to go to them, but go and be happy.

Mike.
 
Mike said:
If the loved ones are dead and gone, then that is
sad most times that we think of them.

If the loved ones are alive and well, then we have
to learn patience, they have their own lives and
plans for the holidays, we might think, "will I ever
see them again", but we have to allow them their
freedom, the law of averages says that they will call
and visit more often if we keep quiet about wanting
them to visit, even discus with them would they like
to share the holidays with you and if so where, then
you might have to go to them, but go and be happy.

Mike.
Click to expand...
I can't go to them. They live very far away and I can't travel. I have reasons that I cannot.
 
Aunt Bea said:
I enjoy the memories that come to me during the holidays.

Sometimes I selfishly wonder if I have left the people that I love with memories that they will cherish in years to come.

Never miss the chance to leave a good memory in a child's life.

"Be proud of the memories you leave behind,
For one day you’ll leave them for others to find ..." - D.G. TORRENS
Click to expand...
Why would it be selfish to wonder? I wouldn't worry about being selfish--I don't think you are.
 

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