Modern Day Communicating

CrackerJack

UK England
I have been thinking how communicating with others has changed dramatically over the decades since post WW2.

Digital communication has swept the world at an alarming rate and wonder if it's all good in as much people used to talk to eachother face to face and families got togetger. One picked up the phone or sent telegrams called in to see people. Phone kiosks on streets were a lifeline and maintained by the then GPO and now British Telecom in the UK.

Those with families and friends who needed support would pop in and interact. Face to face was the norm but now it's changed inperceptably and in some ways is not good imo and other seniors feel as I do about modern trends regarding communicating.
I am all for much of the digital world of communication but miss the old days in many ways.

At the present time I have life-changing times ahead and I have big decisions to consider and make and this will affect my close family. Our communicating is mainly by digital phones and Whatsapp and sms. I rarely get a live chat. Being alone I really need to speak to my two Sons and DILs but like many are very busy with their families and lives. I feel isolated and alone especially this week when I will have a very important mtg with my solicitor on with my Sons present. We all are close in heart and I need their affection and comfort real time but its not there at the moment.

I realise that I am talking on here to an International audience and Im in the UK. Do any of you miss those old days before new technology communication wise? What's your take if any on this social issue?
 

treeguy64

Hari Om, y'all!
Location
Austin, TX.
I like digital communication better than what I grew up with. As long as I have a video platform available, where I can see to whom I'm speaking, everything is cool, and I feel like that person and I are together.

I've always been a loner, of sorts, so I've never had the need to be physically close to those I communicate with, family or otherwise.
 

CrackerJack

UK England
Original Poster
I like digital communication better than what I grew up with. As long as I have a video platform available, where I can see to whom I'm speaking, everything is cool, and I feel like that person and I are together.

I've always been a loner, of sorts, so I've never had the need to be physically close to those I communicate with, family or otherwise.
Yes I didnt mention this to any degree and I feel as you do about the video platform and it is very good indeed. My two Boys are in their 50's and both very gadget orientated especially nowadays and dont remember what it was like in the early 80's and at senior school so cant blame their outlook of today's ethos.

I dont mind the lack of physical contact as Im used to being solo after my Hubby passed away 5 years ago but I wish they would call me more often on the video chat/ land line and they do when they can and have a bit if time
 

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hollydolly

SF VIP
Location
London England
I'm sorry to hear you're going through such taxing and potentally stressful time CJ... and it's a great shame that your sons aren't there for you at times, especially when they know only too well you've not got the support of your late husband.. I'm sure they love their mum very much but they can be thoughtless expecting mum to always manage and be there forever..

I'm always reading about adult children having very poor communication or physical touch with their parents with excuses about work and family..that may be so, especially when they're young and working hard to raise a small family.. but in their 50's, I'm sure if they can find time for hobbies, which I presume they have in some manner, that they can find an hour or 2 for mum... just a quick visit if they don't live too far just mum and adult child, a bit of a cuddle and a chat ..or even a proper phone call once a week for just mum and adult child.. .

My very independent daughter lives abroad, works 7 days a week from 6am until 10pm, whatsapps me at least once a day usually manages to find an hour every other week to call and chat ( the other day she was on the phone for an hour and 3/4's .. and flies over to visit for a few days every year.
 

retiredtraveler

Senior Member
"..... realise that I am talking on here to an International audience and Im in the UK. Do any of you miss those old days before new technology communication wise? What's your take if any on this social issue?
My take, shared by wife, is that texting is not 'communicating'. Actually speaking to someone, and better, 'facetiming' (or any video chat) is great. One doesn't communicate unless one can actually directly speak to another or speak and see/be seen. One can see difficulty even on these forums. Postings are often misinterpreted as to tone and intent.
So, as long as one directly speaks to another, it's a good thing imho. Everyone is so far flung from one another, living not just in other cities, but other countries. So, the new modes of communication are useful if used 'properly'.
But having said that, 'in person' still is the best. It's just becoming more and more difficult for many people.
 

Aunt Bea

SF VIP
Location
Near Mount Pilot
It only bothers me with people that I care about but I try to accept it as a generational shift in the way things are done.

When I was young my grandparents and their friends got together more often than we seem to for face to face visits.

My parent's generation seemed to use the telephone for marathon visits.

I rarely use the telephone or email and then only to confirm times, places, etc...

These days the warm friendly communications with my family never seem to go beyond a few likes or short messages on Facebook.

When I was working my mother and I used to clash a little over this and we finally agreed to set up a time once a week on Saturday morning for me to call and chat for a half-hour or so. It sounds a bit cold to have a set appointment but it helped me to make the call early in the morning before the events and chores of the day took control of my time.
 

gennie

Senior Member
Location
USA
Digital communication is good on many levels but not if it reduces ordinary conversation to a few bits and bites, colorful memes, strange abbreviations and one-liners and much of that given on the fly or when 'multi-taking'. None of those convey warmth, feeling or true meaning as well as a sit down face to face or phone conversation.
 

Ferocious

Well-known Member
Location
UK
😊 Smashing thread CrackerJack.

I make no apologies for being an old fashioned sod. I like to look at a person when we speak, not at a monitor or one of those new fangled mobile phones that seem to do everything except peel the spuds for the dinner. I hate this texting stuff too, wonderful people taught me the English language, so when I communicate with anyone, I do so in English.
When I was a lad (blimey, he's got a good memory I hear you all shout), the only people that had phones (landlines) were doctors or posh people with lots of dosh, but ordinary folk had to queue up outside phone boxes on the high street, to speak to other people, elsewhere in other phone boxes. Some folk were dragged out by the scruff of their necks if they monopolized the phone because many had queued for quite some time to use the phone, sometimes in pouring rain or snow.
Arrrr, but then the pubs were great places for the community to meet up, and laugh, and joke, and sing, or just have a good talk.

Today, I see people oblivious to what's going on around them as they slavishly play with their 'phones'.
I do cherish having a computer to be able to log onto this super site, but the computer is my tool, not my master.😊
 

Lc jones

Senior Member
😊 Smashing thread CrackerJack.

I make no apologies for being an old fashioned sod. I like to look at a person when we speak, not at a monitor or one of those new fangled mobile phones that seem to do everything except peel the spuds for the dinner. I hate this texting stuff too, wonderful people taught me the English language, so when I communicate with anyone, I do so in English.
When I was a lad (blimey, he's got a good memory I hear you all shout), the only people that had phones (landlines) were doctors or posh people with lots of dosh, but ordinary folk had to queue up outside phone boxes on the high street, to speak to other people, elsewhere in other phone boxes. Some folk were dragged out by the scruff of their necks if they monopolized the phone because many had queued for quite some time to use the phone, sometimes in pouring rain or snow.
Arrrr, but then the pubs were great places for the community to meet up, and laugh, and joke, and sing, or just have a good talk.

Today, I see people oblivious to what's going on around them as they slavishly play with their 'phones'.
I do cherish having a computer to be able to log onto this super site, but the computer is my tool, not my master.😊
Righto!
 

Grampa Don

Yep, that's me
Unless you lived near by, it wasn't really that easy to keep in touch with family in the old days. Long distance calls were expensive and most communication was by hand written letters. My wife and I don't use chat, video or otherwise. But, e-mail is nice to have.

I have e-mail friends I've never met. They are old guys like me, and we keep in touch and share our ups and downs. I'd miss that like I'd miss this forum.

Don
 

Mike

Senior Member
Location
London
It is sad that you are in this position Crackerjack and it is
unfortunate that your sons don't understand your need.

My mother was on her own after my dad died, me and my
brother were both living and working in London while she
was in Cornwall.

I called her every evening unless I was working and tried to
visit often, every fortnight if I could, but never more than a
month between visits.

Text messages I don't like either, if I want text I can find a
Pen-Pal, they are useful but not a solution, you perhaps
could explain to your sons that you would like to see them
more often, though you probably have done that already.

I hope that afer the meeting with them that you can have
lunch and chat to them without their wives and clear the
air.

Good luck.

Mike.
 

Fyrefox

Token fox furry
Digital communication is convenient for it being instantaneous, but I can well remember when a long-distance phone call or a letter on paper was a memorable event that was anticipated, carried a significant purpose, and was appreciated for such reasons. Much of what passes for communications these days is frivolous, often unnecessary, and even best left unsaid...
 

Ferocious

Well-known Member
Location
UK
Yeh, I remember applying for a job by letter (the way you did back then), and, when a week or so later a reply arrived, the whole family and visiting friends sat round the table while I opened the letter and wanting to know the verdict, all with fingers crossed that I had got the job. 😊
 

Lc jones

Senior Member
Yeh, I remember applying for a job by letter (the way you did back then), and, when a week or so later a reply arrived, the whole family and visiting friends sat round the table while I opened the letter and wanting to know the verdict, all with fingers crossed that I had got the job. 😊
The good old days.....personal touches are the best.
 

Rojo

New Member
Location
USA
Other than my husband, all of my family lives over 1000 miles away. I am grateful for facetime, facebook and things like that Of course, I miss them all and would prefer to see them in person.
 

fmdog44

Well-known Member
Location
Houston, Texas
Communication:
Women: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Men: Scratching out on a short note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the guys.
 
I'm like treeguy64, in that I'm a loner. But I'm estranged from my family. There are just way too many burnt bridges. I'm disabled and can't walk far. I'm in a wheel chair, which cuts down on my socialization. Plus I live in the sticks. So I use digital communication. I had a dig. 10 year relationship with a person, thousands of miles away in Oz. Got to do what you got to do.
 

CrackerJack

UK England
Original Poster
Just to say a big thank you for all your posts in here and such interesting posts and some sad and touched my heart! It has given me insight to how many of us feel about today's trends in communication and it's many facets. and how it affects our lives

I must let you know that since the OP my Son's and families have been in touch and on the phone asking after me and Sons are meeting up on Friday to attend an important meeting with my solicitor to discuss the future since my Hubby passed away in 2015.
 

gennie

Senior Member
Location
USA
I think future generations, especially historians, will miss the written word as in letters and journals kept by influential people. I know that nothing really disappears in the electronic world but what is created today that will provide insightful glimpses into the personalities and that particular time in history as the correspondence between Thomas Jefferson and John Adams.
 


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