More Garage Sale Humor

[debodun]

A few weeks ago, I posted garage sale "types" as seen by the seller. It is, however, a two-way street. Here's more, but from the perspective of a shopper scoping out the seller (I'm still working on this and may add to it):

GARAGE SALE SELLER TYPES​

“The Wheeler-Dealer” - has been watching too many episodes of “American Pickers” and “Antiques Roadshow”. Thinks everything thy have is a priceless relic. Nothing less than $50 at their sale, even a plastic ice cube tray ("That belonged to my grandmother.").

“The Non-existent Sale” - You see a sign “GARAGE SALE →”. Spend the next half hour and 5 gallons of gas looking for it. Come to find out, the sale was 3 weeks ago and they didn't take down the sign.

“The Microscopic Sign Maker” - puts their sale on a 3 by 5 card and tacks it to the phone pole. Great to read as you're going by at 40 MPH.

“The No-Shows at Their Own Sale” - tables are out, the items are on them, but where the seller? Knocks on the door, rings on the doorbell and car horn toots do not produce an appearance. What am I supposed to do if I'm interested in something?

"The Eternal Sale" - ongoing at the same address. Same things for sale on open, uncovered tables. Some have been out so long that grass is starting to grow in the teacups and dead bugs fill other items.

“The Price Changer” - an item is marked $5. I walk up to the seller with $5 in hand. “What's that for?” he says. I show the item with the price marked on it. “Oh, my wife must have put the wrong tag on that, it's really $20.” Well, I'm really miffed, so I put it back and leave.

“The Entertainer” - thinks he/she is a stand-up comic. Has a routine of garage sale humor, jokes and funny stories. I'm surprised they don't have a cover charge for it.

“The Code Breaker Sale” - everything has colored dot tags and I'm supposed to figure out their pricing system.

“The No Deal Sale” - will not negotiate prices. Reasons:
“You KNOW it's worth that price.”
“I'm selling that for a friend/relative/neighbor, so I don't have permission to take less.”, etc.

 

[Teacher Terry]

Too funny Deb!!

 

[jujube]

The Mind Changer: snatches item out of your hands and exclaims, THAT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE OUT HERE!!!" and, of course, that was the only thing you wanted.

A big YEP on the microscopic sign....or the one that just says GARAGE SALE, no address, at the entrance to a big development with 600 homes and 15 winding streets. No interior directional arrows at intersections, either. It's kinda of a game of Where's Waldo or Find the Pope in the Pizza ( extra points to anyone who remembers that).

I'm not sure what to call this one, The Odiferous One, perhaps? I approached the garage sale and could smell the cat odor from the street. It became eye-watering the nearer I got. The lady had everything in the garage and I'm sure you'd never be able to get rid of the odor. I choked out, " Have a good day!" and tried not to look like I was fleeing for my life.

 

[debodun]

"The Bait and Switch Sale" - advertises rare antiques and collectibles at give away prices. You arrive early to find tables of baby clothes, chipped glass and pottery, and moldy smelling Reader's Digest books.
"Where's the rare antiques you advertised?", you ask.
"Oh, somebody stopped yesterday and bought them all."
I should have such luck! I suspect this is a ploy to draw in customers.

 

[JPsuedo]

The Mind Changer: snatches item out of your hands and exclaims, THAT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE OUT HERE!!!" and, of course, that was the only thing you wanted.

A big YEP on the microscopic sign....or the one that just says GARAGE SALE, no address, at the entrance to a big development with 600 homes and 15 winding streets. No interior directional arrows at intersections, either. It's kinda of a game of Where's Waldo or Find the Pope in the Pizza ( extra points to anyone who remembers that).

I'm not sure what to call this one, The Odiferous One, perhaps? I approached the garage sale and could smell the cat odor from the street. It became eye-watering the nearer I got. The lady had everything in the garage and I'm sure you'd never be able to get rid of the odor. I choked out, " Have a good day!" and tried not to look like I was fleeing for my life.

Sounds like you'd be Flea-ing in a whole other way had you bought anything from the cathouse.