Thanks a lot all of you for your support and input. I well know it is a ālittle patheticā to share this kind of personal relations on a forum but one cannot be a āsupermanā all the time. If you are interested here are the recent developments. I told her it was ācruelā to claim she loved me and stay one month with no contact. She said I did not call her either; It is true, but she told me before that she would be busy entertaining a friend for the next two weekends. To make along story short, she added that she loved me because we had done and been through a lot together, she gave me her friendship. She realizes that what she has given is all she can give, and it does not seem to be enough for me. I answered that I was expressing my feeling and my frustration regarding the incoherence between what she claimed (to love me) and the way she treats me. She replied that it was best if we go our separate ways because it was not working out for both of us and that she loved me only as a friend and had never promised more than that. I ended the conversation telling her she had chosen her friends over me, I respected her decision to dumb me, will miss all the great time we had together and wished her good luck for the rest of her life. End of the story. I am left alone, upset, discouraged and sad. But, cāest la vie!
I wish you well and hope you find someone that will be a true companion to you and you'll share your interests together.
I understand your sadness and feelings of rejection. I've been through it many times in my 72 years and after 21 years of marriage, I find myself in the same situation again.
Believe me, I know what it's like to take a backseat to other people that are more important to your partner/husband/wife. When my husband and I met in 1975, he was unhappily married and had 3 small children. We lived a few hundred miles away from each other so we only saw each other maybe once a month. I didn't have a very good relationship with my parents, who I lived with, so when he asked me to move to his state, I jumped at the opportunity. I was fortunate enough to land a very good job and we lived together. He worked out of state all week and was only home on short weekends. The problem was his 3 kids. We were nothing but babysitters every weekend so his ex could go out and get drunk and then call him to come rescue her from whatever she had gotten herself into...and he did. After almost 3 years of this, I moved out and that was that. His ex took the kids to CA (where her family was) and he soon followed. I didn't see him or have contact with him until 1997. His kids were grown, we got married, and had a somewhat happy life for the next 12/13 years. We settled in PA, where he had other family and I had family in MI. His kids came from CA at least 2x a year, usually at Christmas or during the summer. They went home and we had friends and activities and I was very happy there.
Then in 2012, he had an accident that shattered his left ankle. Lots of surgeries and infections and antibiotics and stomach problems later, he decided we were moving to Arizona because he couldn't stand the winters any more. I didn't want to sell my house, but we did and we've been in AZ ever since. Then 2 of his 3 kids moved here from CA "to be close to their dad". Now, it's back to the same thing as when they were children. They're here every Sunday, I cook, they leave. Do they spend time with their dad other than that? No. It is so different here. I don't have any friends. We live out in the middle of nowhere. He goes and does what he wants, which is trapshooting mostly, and I'm stuck here every day.
My point is.....he cares about his "kids" (they are 45 & 49!!) more than he cares about me. Last year, I asked him if we could go back "home" to PA. He told me to go ahead and go. Financially, I can't afford to leave. So we're still babysitting every weekend.
Be glad you're done with her. I'm married to a very selfish man that has always had his way on everything and everyone else has always come first. You deserve better treatment.
