My ex-husband's wife

Leann

Traveler
I don't know when I last saw my ex-husband. For a long while we lived in different states, now we live in different countries.

Exactly 7 months to the day after our divorce was finalized, he remarried. During our marriage he had a succession of affairs. I don't know if he was emotionally involved with the women or if it was purely physical. But the last woman he was involved with became his next wife. I knew her although I would say we were more acquaintances than friends.

Our marriage died long before the separations and subsequent divorce so I wasn't surprised that they he had remarried so quickly. And while it would be understandable to think that I was angry with both of them, I honestly wasn't. I don't mean to say that I didn't have moments of sadness while recalling happier times in our marriage but his relentless deceptive ways (which were not limited to being unfaithful) coupled with his volatile temper and abuse made it much easier to envision a life without him. So I always harbored a sense of gratitude that this woman, his current wife, captured his heart and his attention. She honestly did me a favor.

My life has been an interesting and much more peaceful journey since then.

I recently learned that his wife had developed cancer for which she underwent treatment but it was not successful. The next step was surgery which required an amputation of one of her limbs. I was deeply saddened to learn this. And I have been keeping her in my prayers. I can't imagine the emotional and physical pain she must be enduring. I hope my ex, her husband, stands by her and takes care of her. But only time will tell.
 

This is a tough one. I am sorry that you went through such a horrible time. You sound like you have peace with the whole situation. The fact that you are concerned about the woman he has married and is now ill just confirms that you are a thoughtful and kind person. I don't know if I could have had that much grace in the situation.
 
This is a tough one. I am sorry that you went through such a horrible time. You sound like you have peace with the whole situation. The fact that you are concerned about the woman he has married and is now ill just confirms that you are a thoughtful and kind person. I don't know if I could have had that much grace in the situation.
Thank you, @Blessed. It took me a while to purge the near hate that was in my heart for my ex-husband. I remember reading that 'holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die'. I had to release those feelings in order to gain peace in my life. I don't care for or about him and honestly wonder how I would feel if it was he who went through the diagnosis that confronted his wife. In the end I would have probably just said a prayer and left it at that.
 

I can relate you what you went through because it was very similar to my experience with my ex.

He was a supposed Christian man and that's what drew me to him. I worked with him for years and we married in 1983. I was 9 years older then him and I had a 8 year old son. My ex was good to my son and me but I never knew he was cheating on me for a long time with someone in our church. When I found out, I was devastated. I came home one day and he had packed up everything, took the car, and left. He left me a 6-page letter and evidently the affair had been going on for some time. Ironically, after he left me, she dumped him for someone else. I reluctantly let him come back because my son was graduating and I wanted some kind of "normal" time for him. Little did I know, my son blamed me for everything and our relationship has been on a downfall ever since.

My ex and I divorced in 1992 and in 1997 I went to CA and married my current husband. My ex use to call me in CA and tell me about a gal that he married but he didn't love her and wanted out but she got pregnant just to hold on to him. I was glad he was getting a much deserved dose of his own medicine because, as I learned many years later, she ran around on him and ended up dumping the baby and her young son on him and took off with another man. I had to tell him to quit calling me. It kept me upset and I needed to be done with him.

I moved on with my life and only saw him a couple times at a birthday party for my son and at my son's wedding. Then, in June of this year, I got a text that he had died. I was in shock and it brought back a LOT of memories. Some good, some very bad. I thought all that was behind me but I've never really gotten over it. I'm not angry with him for what he did (I was, but not now)...I'm just sad that he hurt me so much that I've never been the same loving person I use to be.
 
You are a better person than I, Leann, I harbored ill feelings for my ex for years because of the problems she caused me and our children. My younger son resented me for leaving, but when he bacame an adult and we had a real heart to heart talk, we rekindled our relationship.
 
You are a better person than I, Leann, I harbored ill feelings for my ex for years because of the problems she caused me and our children. My younger son resented me for leaving, but when he bacame an adult and we had a real heart to heart talk, we rekindled our relationship.
I forgot to mention that my ex's wife use to use my name and address as a reference to get a credit card. I use to get phone calls from stores where she'd charge things and then never pay so they'd call me because I was her "reference". I'd tell them that I didn't even know her and that she was my ex's wife. I called him at least 3 times to make her stop using my name and then I finally told him if she didn't stop I'd have her arrested. She must have moved on to someone else then because I never had that problem again. She was a piece of work.
 

Back
Top