My memory is fine!

Bill.K

Bill.K

Member
Location
Canada
Three old ladies were discussing the trials and tribulations of getting older.

One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand while standing in front of the refrigerator, and I can't remember whether I need to put it away or start making a sandwich."

The second lady chimed in with, "Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can't remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down."

The third one responded, "Well, ladies, I'm glad I don't have that problem, knock on wood," as she rapped her knuckles on the table and then said, "That must be the door, I'll get it!"
 

lol - OK, I'll add another memory or lack of memory joke...

A few old couples used to get together to talk about life and to have a good time. At one of the get togethers, one of the men, Harry, started talking about this fantastic restaurant he went to the other night with his wife.

“Really?”, one of the men said, what’s it called? After thinking for a few seconds, Harry said, “what are those good smelling flowers called again?”

“Do you mean a rose? the first man questioned.

“Yes that’s it,” he exclaimed. Looking over at his wife he said, “Rose, what’s that restaurant we went to the other night?”
 

A man walks out onto a busy New York City street and happens to catch a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabby says, “Wow, perfect timing. You’re just like Frank.”

The passenger looks confused, and asks, “Who..??”

The cabby says, “Frank Feldman..!!”

He explains, “He’s a guy who did everything right all the time. Like when I came along just when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman – every single time.”

The passenger remarked, “There are always a few clouds over everybody.”

“Not Frank Feldman.” The cabby said with gusto.

He clarified, “ Frank Feldman was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.”

The passenger said, “Sounds like he was really something special.”

The cabby replied, “There’s more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with.”

The passenger was amazed, “Wow, what a guy!”

The cabby continued, “He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too.”

The cabby concluded: “He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.”

Passenger: “How did you meet him?”

𝐂𝐚𝐛𝐛𝐲: “𝐈 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐦𝐞𝐭 𝐅𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐤. 𝐇𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐞.”
 
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