My mind is my greatest foe

Mr. Ed

Mr. Ed

Be what you is not what you what you ain’t
Location
Central NY
I can't imagine life without negative thoughts sabotaging the moment. It's part of the mood disorder I gained as an adolescent then blossomed to full blown schizophrenia at age 25 assisted by various hallucinating properties, organic and chemical. Now suppose everyone does things growing up that they regret as for me I take full ownership of every substance taken. I do not condone taking substances that may or may not be unlawful, it's your life do what you want.

Life's a trip literally, schizophrenia need I say more? Mental illness is not so bad with the systems, unfortunately, symptoms have a mind of their own popping up when least expected.

I read early on in my diagnosis people with schizophrenia have a mortality rate of 30 years. Some people living mental illness are challenged by longterm intimate relationships, my wife are happy married for 43 years and like any marriage or relationship one spouse is the strength and foundation of the other spouse. I am the needy spouse, however, the independent spouse needs me, a given purpose..

I am high functioning person with schizophrenia, started working and college age 54, Phi Theta Kappa, Honor student, AAS Chemical Dependency Counseling, Bible College transferred to University BAS Human Services, worked until forced retirement, eliminated position.

I appreciate my brain and what it can do. I'm smart, I didn't find out until attending college. I was not challenged academically or physically by parent, they did their thing and left me alone. I wish they had been more invested in family and children than catering to my dad.

Mental illness affected hormonal growth and maturity, perhaps there were other factors.

Somedays..
 

Mr. Ed said:
I can't imagine life without negative thoughts sabotaging the moment. It's part of the mood disorder I gained as an adolescent then blossomed to full blown schizophrenia at age 25 assisted by various hallucinating properties, organic and chemical. Now suppose everyone does things growing up that they regret as for me I take full ownership of every substance taken. I do not condone taking substances that may or may not be unlawful, it's your life do what you want.

Life's a trip literally, schizophrenia need I say more? Mental illness is not so bad with the systems, unfortunately, symptoms have a mind of their own popping up when least expected.

I read early on in my diagnosis people with schizophrenia have a mortality rate of 30 years. Some people living mental illness are challenged by longterm intimate relationships, my wife are happy married for 43 years and like any marriage or relationship one spouse is the strength and foundation of the other spouse. I am the needy spouse, however, the independent spouse needs me, a given purpose..

I am high functioning person with schizophrenia, started working and college age 54, Phi Theta Kappa, Honor student, AAS Chemical Dependency Counseling, Bible College transferred to University BAS Human Services, worked until forced retirement, eliminated position.

I appreciate my brain and what it can do. I'm smart, I didn't find out until attending college. I was not challenged academically or physically by parent, they did their thing and left me alone. I wish they had been more invested in family and children than catering to my dad.

Mental illness affected hormonal growth and maturity, perhaps there were other factors.

Somedays..
Click to expand...
I'm so sorry to hear about your mental struggles. Yes, our brains can do a lot of damage to our lives when we struggle with these afflictions. Sometimes they are difficult to control. I wish you all the best in your continued efforts to cope and find positivity whenever possible.
 
I've mentioned this so many times on this forum.
Would you at least look up Transcendental Deep Meditation and see the mental attributes
which can be achieved from regular practice of this technique? It's pretty phenomenal!
It should be on line somewhere.

Sometimes people get comfortable and start to identify with what they consider an affliction
and do not want change, even if it ensures dramatic healing and results.
 

Mr. Ed said:
I can't imagine life without negative thoughts sabotaging the moment. It's part of the mood disorder I gained as an adolescent then blossomed to full blown schizophrenia at age 25 assisted by various hallucinating properties, organic and chemical. Now suppose everyone does things growing up that they regret as for me I take full ownership of every substance taken. I do not condone taking substances that may or may not be unlawful, it's your life do what you want.

Life's a trip literally, schizophrenia need I say more? Mental illness is not so bad with the systems, unfortunately, symptoms have a mind of their own popping up when least expected.

I read early on in my diagnosis people with schizophrenia have a mortality rate of 30 years. Some people living mental illness are challenged by longterm intimate relationships, my wife are happy married for 43 years and like any marriage or relationship one spouse is the strength and foundation of the other spouse. I am the needy spouse, however, the independent spouse needs me, a given purpose..

I am high functioning person with schizophrenia, started working and college age 54, Phi Theta Kappa, Honor student, AAS Chemical Dependency Counseling, Bible College transferred to University BAS Human Services, worked until forced retirement, eliminated position.

I appreciate my brain and what it can do. I'm smart, I didn't find out until attending college. I was not challenged academically or physically by parent, they did their thing and left me alone. I wish they had been more invested in family and children than catering to my dad.

Mental illness affected hormonal growth and maturity, perhaps there were other factors.

Somedays..
Click to expand...
I believe you accurately described living with schizophrenia Intelligence, or the lack of it has little to do with the disease. Most schizophrenics have above average IQs. I know of one, who was about to be awarded with his doctorate in electrical engineering, when he went "full blown" at age 25. The disease is very age related.
Take care, Mr. Ed.
 
so many nerves ; so many synapses ; so many chemicals and then the rest of the effin hulk it sits on - wot the feck could possibly go wrong??
 
I don't have schizophrenia Mr. Ed, but my mind messes with me daily, sometimes all day. I can understand at least part of the struggle. Though I've never had to take medications.
 
i have a magic miniature white board that sits on my draw out 'puter undercarriage and it changes at least weekly sometimes bi-weekly but handy
 
fuzzybuddy said:
I believe you accurately described living with schizophrenia Intelligence, or the lack of it has little to do with the disease. Most schizophrenics have above average IQs. I know of one, who was about to be awarded with his doctorate in electrical engineering, when he went "full blown" at age 25. The disease is very age related.
Take care, Mr. Ed.
Click to expand...
Reminds me of the movie A Beautiful Mind.
 
Trauma is sometimes responsible for schizophrenia. I was traumatized prior to my 16th birthday and until now I was not aware of the link between the two. It makes sense, however, why was I not affected earlier? Did THC/marijuana cement my fate?
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top