Need for acceptance.

Ronni

The motormouth ;)
Location
Nashville TN
"Your need for acceptance can make you invisible in this world" Jim Carrey

This resonates deeply with me. I lived well over half my life being forced to seek acceptance, and almost lost myself, lost who I am, in the process. I don't do that any more. I know sometimes (often?) I can come across as out there, 😉 goofy or non-conformist. I'm not trying to be noticed, or make a statement. Not trying to be interesting, or anything else that insists "Look at meee!"

My focus, my intent, is simply to wring the most out of life that I can, refusing to color inside the lines or live within a box, as I was forced to do for so long. Not anymore! I make my own fun and to hell with what anyone else thinks of that! 👍😁🎉

I have always lived my life By The Golden Rule. Unfortunately it’s what got me into trouble. I kept thinking that if I treated my ex the way I want to be treated then he would follow my example. It didn’t happen, it just allowed him to continue to control and dominate me. I still live my life by that rule because it’s too much a part of who I am at my core to not. But these days I am a great deal more discerning about the people in my life.

I think we all feel a need for acceptance. What is your experience?
 

I believe that I understand your point. I think that having a strong personality is developed early in life partly from our parents. I also believe that males and many females have different personalities, along with traits when it comes to interacting with others. Being a State Trooper doesn’t allow you to be namby pamby. It also doesn’t allow you to be over zealous.

Most people in my age group were taught that males were the dominant sex. Over the years, that has and still continues to change. Believe it or not, when I was assigned to one of the 4 Barracks that I worked out of, my Sgt. was a female. That was no problem for us Troopers assigned to work under her. I never looked at her and saw a female and none of my fellow Troopers ever made any discerning statements about the situation. We had a job to do and it didn’t include being biased.

I think that overall, we should behave and act just as who we are. Why put on or be a phony? I can usually tell who is putting on when they are around me and I can also tell when someone is lying to me (in person). It’s easy to lie to others on the internet and get away with it, but different when speaking with someone face to face.

As they say, “Just be yourself.” However, if you want or need to have a stronger personality, you will have to work at it.
 

"Your need for acceptance can make you invisible in this world" Jim Carrey

This resonates deeply with me. I lived well over half my life being forced to seek acceptance, and almost lost myself, lost who I am, in the process. I don't do that any more. I know sometimes (often?) I can come across as out there, 😉 goofy or non-conformist. I'm not trying to be noticed, or make a statement. Not trying to be interesting, or anything else that insists "Look at meee!"

My focus, my intent, is simply to wring the most out of life that I can, refusing to color inside the lines or live within a box, as I was forced to do for so long. Not anymore! I make my own fun and to hell with what anyone else thinks of that! 👍😁🎉

I have always lived my life By The Golden Rule. Unfortunately it’s what got me into trouble. I kept thinking that if I treated my ex the way I want to be treated then he would follow my example. It didn’t happen, it just allowed him to continue to control and dominate me. I still live my life by that rule because it’s too much a part of who I am at my core to not. But these days I am a great deal more discerning about the people in my life.

I think we all feel a need for acceptance. What is your experience?

I used to give of myself until it hurt always letting others dictate to me. Eventually I learned to set up boundaries putting me first and I'm emotionally happier about it. Everybody needs to set reasonable boundaries with others.
 
I think most of my life I've been inert in the 'need' dept

And this quote confuses the heck outa me

"Your need for acceptance can make you invisible in this world" Jim Carrey

Seems it'd be the other way around

Never thought about needs much
But, after 50 years of my lady rehearsing hers, I took a peek at mine

I was pretty much invisible in my growing up years
'And what's yer name, young man?'
'Dad, it's me, Gary'

I rather enjoyed the anonymity
Gave me time to observe

I still enjoy it
 
Leaving a 25 year marriage to an abusive, self-centered. controlling spouse brought about a definite personality change for me. I don't know if the current 'me' was in there all along and blossomed with the change or if necessity drove the change but I'm definitely a different person now
 
Leaving a 25 year marriage to an abusive, self-centered. controlling spouse brought about a definite personality change for me. I don't know if the current 'me' was in there all along and blossomed with the change or if necessity drove the change but I'm definitely a different person now
Good for you...you go girl!
 
I think most of my life I've been inert in the 'need' dept

And this quote confuses the heck outa me

"Your need for acceptance can make you invisible in this world" Jim Carrey

Seems it'd be the other way around

Be grateful you don’t get it 💕

When you’re striving for acceptance your tendency is to be whoever or whatever will achieve that. Who you actually are, the core you, is submerged completely as you contort yourself into whatever will garner you the most acceptance.

Perhaps if it were worded as "Your need for acceptance can make THE AUTHENTIC YOU invisible in this world" Jim Carrey

You put up a facade for folks to see. The real you is behind the facade. You never show yourself because it seems that who you really are wouldn’t be acceptable. Or you know damn well that the real you is not acceptable because you’ve been told over and over again how wrong, semi literate, ignorant, ugly, stupid, unintelligent, un-educated, inept, clumsy etc that you are. So you try and become someone else and you get so good at it that you can’t even remember anymore who the real you is. Can’t remember what your favorite color is, how you like your eggs, what clothes you think look good on you, and you no longer have an opinion on anything about yourself or anything else until you’re told what you should think.

So ..... yeah.
 
You put up a facade for folks to see....
Ah, OK, I get that
Unfortunately (for others) I am what I am....sans the spinach.
I did try to be somebody else once, on a date, in my preteens
It was shortly after reading Thurber's Walter Mitty story
Thought I'd carried it off pretty well
She saw right thru it
Dropped me like a rock

Found it was just too much work anyway
...and ya had to do all that back tracking...for...ever
 


Back
Top