Need some advice (living alone, meeting someone)

It has taken a lifetime, but I had my husbands support. He has since passed but years before his death I had learned to just speak my truth. If something made me uncomfortable I was not shy about accepting an invitation, staying home when my husband went, the only thing I forced myself to do was our son's activities. That was (he was) the most important thing in my life. Now, I am more than likely to refuse an invitation, sometimes it hurts people feelings. That is not my intent. I have been open and honest with my son and his wife. I may turn down a dinner out or a holiday but is just me, I can't gather up the strength to attend.. I find it better to stay home than ruin an event for the family.
 

I can relate to all of you. I want to be around people but not close to them. I want somebody to be close to but not all the time. I want somebody to "do for" but don't want to be responsible for doing stuff. I don't wanna be alone, but I don't wanna have anybody else living with me.

I used to be a crafty sort of person. Now I'm not. I used to like to cook. Now I don't wanna be bothered.

Sometimes I really wish I hadn't given my car away and have thought seriously about buying another. Not a swell idea.

Thank heaven for Maggiecat and a huge flower garden to tend to. And that I live in a granny flat attached to DD's house so that if I get really squirrelly, there's usually somebody else around. And that I have a job I like and somewhere to go five days a week.

My biggest foe is boredom, even though I have plenty to do.
 
The opportunities for companionship decline with each phase of life. In school we’re surrounded by people our age with things in common. In our careers we’re surrounded by people with employment in common, but upon reaching old age with infirmities we are often isolated with no social environment specifically for our age group or interests. The sixty something seniors are still so focused on physical life and diet and exercise and vitamins they can’t relate to a phase focused beyond life to spiritual and philosophical and etheral ideas even though everyone will be in that phase eventually.
 

I've only been friends with three people in my life. I'm speaking of deep friendships that are a form of love. All three are women, two of them I still know, one has disappeared for reasons of her own. None of these relationships are romantic or sexualized......save for a bit of lighthearted flirting. But the two live out of my state now.....so they've become online relationships.
There were two girlfriends in college, but those relationships were trivial to me and for them too I think........like trying out a new sport or hobby.
So I'm as accustomed to aloneness as much as two other posters on this thread. Alone is normal for me.
I'm not agoraphobic but I don't really enjoy social contacts. I do function in structured settings though......I volunteer as a pastoral visitor with patients at our local hospital once or twice a week. I'm an active member of a church.....although I keep my misgivings about their Calvinist dogma to myself.....I don't think God cares what religion we profess, so I'm an usher and I make the Communion bread once a month and I know that my eternal journey will go on after I experience what we call "death".
And for five months out of every year I operate a table every Saturday at an outdoor market selling bread and cookies that I bake. OK, that's like a social party for me that I actually do enjoy.....it's structured, there's a definite start and finish and I'm providing a product of some value to repeat customers, literally year after year. Oh yeah, there's a free food giveaway the 2nd and 4th Thursday of every month...I'm in on that too.
So I'm alone almost all the time and reasonably content with it and that's my story
 
67 here.....
Been dating the same woman for 12 years. Neither one wants marriage. We enjoy each others company on weekends, sometimes. But we both enjoy going home to our separate houses after a weekend. No need for all the relationship 'requirements' that come with traditional marriage.
 
TabbyAnn said:
The opportunities for companionship decline with each phase of life. In school we’re surrounded by people our age with things in common. In our careers we’re surrounded by people with employment in common, but upon reaching old age with infirmities we are often isolated with no social environment specifically for our age group or interests. The sixty something seniors are still so focused on physical life and diet and exercise and vitamins they can’t relate to a phase focused beyond life to spiritual and philosophical and etheral ideas even though everyone will be in that phase eventually.
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So true. And the fact that seniors frequently need to/should move due to driving issues, being closer to family/medical resources, etc. doesn't help either; then you run up against this (which can also affect the young but not as much since they're still going to school or working which gives them a little social contact):

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The people that I have known in the past and now that are in their 80’s and 90’s are still active providing their health is still good. Because many their age are dead they tend to have younger friends.

People’s personalities don’t change that much as they age and health is the wild card that determines how well they are able to enjoy their lives.
 
Sippican said:
67 here.....
Been dating the same woman for 12 years. Neither one wants marriage. We enjoy each others company on weekends, sometimes. But we both enjoy going home to our separate houses after a weekend. No need for all the relationship 'requirements' that come with traditional marriage.
Click to expand...
One of my favorite quotes
 

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