Negative Neds/Nellies

G

GeorgiaXplant

Well-known Member
Location
Georgia
Have you known any? They're the people who ask for advice but when it's given have a laumdry list of reasons (read: excuses!) why a possible solution won't work...before they even try!

If you happen to comment that it's a nice day, the response is that it's too hot/cold/windy/dry/humid.

Mention a food that you really like, and NN will recite chapter and verse of the latest study telling us all to NEVER eat it because... Offer coffee or tea when they visit at your own risk!

Feel like a little retail therapy or a fishing/hunting excursion, a weekend getaway? Get an earful about too much traffic or the heinous crime of killing game or fowl, wasting perfectly good money to go somewhere when you could stay home and save the money.

Thinking out loud about remodeling? Prepare to hear horror stories of their third cousin twice removed who had a heart attack because of the stress involved in remodling. Never mind that the plumbing was installed when your ancestors wanted indoor plumbing instead of an outhouse and running water instead of a pump in the kitchen sink, the wiring is knob-and-tube, the roof needs to be replaced, the carpet is worn down to the threads, and the place was built before bedrooms had closets.

Okay. Mention that you're going to put it on the market as a fixer-upper. OMG! You can't do that! It's been in the family for generations.

Bring up electronic devices of any kind. Bad idea unless you want to hear all about how carrier pigeons and the abacus have been good enough.
 

So do I bluebreezes, my neighbour is one, she started whinging the other day and I just told her she's lucky to be able to get out of bed each morning !
 
Had a neighbor like that too. He would come over anytime I was outside and complain about everything. He had anger issues and would talk about everyone in the neighborhood. He would ask me questions and if I had no answer he would storm away angry. He complained about the mailman walking across the yards (as they all do). He complained about the junk mail. I would often wear a headset (radio) when I worked outside and he would come up behind me and I would jump, then he got angry because I was listening to music in my own yard! Twice in 25 yrs, my newspaper was misdelivered and ended up in his yard. He began hollering how I'd better call them and blah, blah, blah. Leaves, we all had trees and he had two very high oaks in his yard. I have no oaks but would bag 25-30 of oak leaves each season. I never complained. He had his trees removed then told me if any of my leaves end up in his yard, he would blow them back! I tried avoiding him for the most part but then began getting a little nasty--something hard for me to do but I could not take it anymore. He finally moved but in the process, bad-mouthed me to the new owners. Oh well!
 
I used to have a coworker like that, if you had a headache, she had a migraine. If you said it was nice and sunny out, she said not for long, bad weather was coming. She had nothing positive to say, and if anyone had something they wanted to share about their health, relationship, whatever, she'd one up them and dismiss the urgency of their thought. I found when she left me after a conversation, she was laughing and just fine, and I'm the one that carried her grey cloud the rest of the day. Learned quickly to avoid her, toxic and 'energy vampire'.

One guy started complaining about stuff before he even punched the clock at work in the morning, when I had to work around him it definitely affected my mood. We can all be angry, sad or bitter at times when things happen to us in life, but those who thrive on negativity should be avoided like the plague. I've tried to talk to them positively, but it doesn't work.
 
SeaBreeze is right...these people DO thrive on negative and constantly want attention. A number of years ago I had a friend that did absolutely nothing but complain or see the dark side of Everything...I finally told her that I thought it would be a good idea if we had nothing to do with each other for a month or so because I simply could not deal with her negativity...Well, as it turned out, this separation lasted nearly two years, because in the meantime I had moved to another apt. complex. When I DID see her again, she sat down (this was in a café) and told me that she thanked me...that I had really helped her...and you could have knocked me over with a feather... Thing is, I never once regretted what I had said, because it had gotten to the point where my stomach HURT from stress when I was with her... Anyway, I told her thank you for being kind enough to say this to me... We aren't close friends but still run into each other now and then and enjoy chatting... I know it isn't always feasible to 'tell people' like I did...OH! and BTW, after that incident It helped to make ME even more careful as to how I was talking with other, too! --so I didn't get all gritchy and bitchy! ;)
 
Bettyann said:
I thought it would be a good idea if we had nothing to do with each other for a month or so because I simply could not deal with her negativity...Well, as it turned out, this separation lasted nearly two years, because in the meantime I had moved to another apt. complex. When I DID see her again, she sat down (this was in a café) and told me that she thanked me...that I had really helped her...and you could have knocked me over with a feather... Thing is, I never once regretted what I had said, because it had gotten to the point where my stomach HURT from stress when I was with her... Anyway, I told her thank you for being kind enough to say this to me... We aren't close friends but still run into each other now and then and enjoy chatting... I know it isn't always feasible to 'tell people' like I did...OH! and BTW, after that incident It helped to make ME even more careful as to how I was talking with other, too! --so I didn't get all gritchy and bitchy! ;)
Click to expand...

That's wonderful Bettyann that you told her and it helped her in the end. I might have done the same if I had to see that woman outside of the workplace. I know what you mean about the stress too! Smart to keep a check on ourselves too! :)
 
I have a couple of relatives like that so I can't just walk or RUN away from it. I think we've all known people like this. It's challenging.
 
Rode on the bus today with the neighbour I mentioned in an earlier post, she didn't gripe once ! My daughter said 'She was probably too frightened to after last time mum' ha ha ha
 
Abraham Lincoln once said "“folks are usually about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abe suffered personal loss that would devastate many people to death, never mind the stress of his time in office. But he held it together regardless. A good quote to remember.
 
Redd said:
The complainers make me feel better that I really don't have much to complain about.
Click to expand...

Yes! And I become more aware of myself being negative when I'm around Negative Nellies/Neds, and try to be more positive.
So it can be a positive thing, in a negative sort of way. :lol:
 
For heaven's sake! There are board members who whine about everydamthang no matter how small. They'd complain about being hung with a gold rope�� Yeah, I know I can ignore them so that's what I'm gonna do. Life is too short to get all wound up over a post on an anonymous forum, KWIM?
 
There was a member here who was very negative and turned my stomach, too. I put this member on ignore. After awhile people asked this person what they were doing here if they were so unhappy with the forum and they left.
 
My sister (2 yrs younger than me) used to call me at least once a week asking me for advice on everything from how to cook a ham (that's not how mom does it, but I don't like cloves, etc) to helping her son get a job (delivery? but I don't want him driving that much, office? but he can't sit for that long, oh no way do I see him being a waiter!). I started telling her I couldn't help her...nobody could. I stuck to my guns and eventually she stopped calling.

btw, not once did she ever ask me how I was doing, it was always only I need your advice! :mad:
 
If everyone agreed with me and did everything the way I want it done... I'd have nothing to complain about. OTOH, complaining doesn't solve anything.

Had a construction crew, last week, who had made a really bad decision about a large concrete pour. We were running into the dark and they had not prepared with light plants, etc. As I heard them complaining, I told them... "You are where you are. You can't back up. Let's figure out how we can make this happen to complete the task and know that tomorrow, it's done!" It turned out really well for them.

One of my pet peeves is someone who will complain/gripe without having an alternative solution. If you don't know how to fix it, quit standing in the way of someone who does. Close your trap and open your mind!!!
 
Grumpy Ol' Man said:
If everyone agreed with me and did everything the way I want it done... I'd have nothing to complain about. OTOH, complaining doesn't solve anything.

Had a construction crew, last week, who had made a really bad decision about a large concrete pour. We were running into the dark and they had not prepared with light plants, etc. As I heard them complaining, I told them... "You are where you are. You can't back up. Let's figure out how we can make this happen to complete the task and know that tomorrow, it's done!" It turned out really well for them.

One of my pet peeves is someone who will complain/gripe without having an alternative solution. If you don't know how to fix it, quit standing in the way of someone who does. Close your trap and open your mind!!!
Click to expand...

Attitude is important and throughout our lives, we must learn how adapt to many situations. Even failure is not a bad thing if we learn by it! We all have times when things may not be going well and we may complain a little. It's only human. Then we need to either figure out a solution or accept what we cannot change. Isn't that part of that prayer? The wisdom to know the difference?
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top