Neighbors Borrowing stuff ... slow in returning them

Toomuchstuff

Toomuchstuff

Member
Location
Wisconsin
Ever since our one neighbor moved in ,she has been borrowing stuff left and right. We get along great , but the idea of borrowing stuff is getting a little bit old. In the beginning, it was always "can I borrow some eggs?" "can I borrow some
sugar?" "can I borrow some milk?" ........ She'd pay me back , in her own time. Then she got married. Now HE'S always borrowing tools ! What really ticks me off is , he'll call us on his cell phone when he's standing right outside our back door and say " I'm out here and I need to use your drill (or whatever) " ....... :mad: Then we wait to get it back. They're in their 50's - not like young people that haven't built up a household yet. I guess we're too good natured to refuse . Thinking back, I wish we would have nipped this in the bud , but now we're stuck being the local "lender of all household things"
.......*sigh*........... Okay ... I'm putting my soapbox away . I just had to post this because he just borrowed our drill this morning and now he was back asking for different sized bits . ggggrrrrrrr......
 

It's hard to refuse once you have started lending, about all you can do now is tell him at the time that as soon as he is done with it you need it back as you have a project in mind yourself. He may get the hint....hopefully.

The butter and egg borrowers are the worst, most times you never get it back.
 
You have to decide when to cut it off, and it might mean them holding a grudge, unless they're nice considerate people, then they'll understand and apologize. They really seem to be taking advantage to the max. The phone and tool thing would tick me off, and I'd probably say sorry, maybe it's time to buy some of your own tools. I'm good natured too, but I have a point where I refuse to be a doormat. If you put your foot down, they might sulk for awhile, but I guarantee you'll feel better and more free. Just make sure everything of value is returned first. :)

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This is hard to believe. But I had a huge tool box outside that anyone could access and borrow tools, like a library. It was open.

I had a note there that if they didn't follow the rules that it would be closed.

I shared with the neighborhood. There was a card there where they signed out and there was a three day limit to bring it back or let me know.

I couldn't believe it. It worked. Power tools, drills, hammers, saws, whatever was in that huge outside box.

I never lost one tool. But then we are talking about guys who are handy and understand the value of a tool when it is needed.
 
I used to say "I don't buy extra groceries/supplies. I can't spare anything." Period.

TMS the only way to solve this is to say No.
"We decided not to lend tools anymore. ". Period. Do not discuss it further.

Or

Continue to put up with it, be annoyed, and complain.


The choice is yours.
 
There are 4 of us in this close knit neighborhood, we borrow all the time, we also attempt to return the same day..
 
I gave up lending anything. Years ago when the kids were young I helped out with the Cub Scouts, the Brownies, and other school functions. I lent this or that but rarely got my item back in a reasonable amount of time. One times sticks out in my mind. The Brownies were having some type of dinner and needed a large urn style coffee pot. I had one and offered to lend it to them. I didn't ask for it back right away but after about 2 weeks I asked the women in charge if I could please have it back I was having a 50th anniversary party for my parents. She said she would bring it to me. She never came,even after many unanswered phone calls. Finally I cornered her in the church parking lot. Laughing, she said she had the coffee marker rolling around in her trunk for the past couple of weeks and just forgot about it. It was scratched and didn't even look as if it had been cleaned. That was the last time I lent anyone anything and I never will again.
 
We have a standing policy that we don't lend tools. Of course there are exceptions to any rule but in general we stand by it. Once you get to know people well and know they are responsible then they could borrow them. However those people rarely borrow things.
 
If it was a thing like a drill, etc., I would go over there and tell them you need your drill back and wait till they go fetch it. As to the milk and eggs, I doubt you'll get those back. Bet as to other tangible things, I would go over and ask for them back.
 
Also, TMS you say since the beginning she's been borrowing milk, eggs, sugar left and right. Obviously she does it because she knows you'll go along with it. Has she never heard of making a list and going to the grocery store? Help her to learn about self sufficiency by saying "No, can't help you anymore."

For me, the payback/non-payback wouldn't be an issue because I wouldn't want to be bothered with these people to begin with. They're moochers. Interesting her husband got your cell # and knew you folks had a drill.

but now we're stuck being the local "lender of all household things"​
Click to expand...

:confused:

Stuck?? Only if you want to be. Like I said before, you can stop the nonsense if you want by saying "No".
​
 
Ken N Tx said:
There are 4 of us in this close knit neighborhood, we borrow all the time, we also attempt to return the same day..
Click to expand...
I should also state that we live in a rural area and are 15 miles ( one way ) to town, not easy to run and get a needed tool. In 20 years I can only recall one time when asked for food stuff. One neighbor has asked a couple of time " Hey I am running to town do you need anything??"
 
I have been surprised at times over who was reasonable about returning things and who weren't; and this includes items such as tools, camping gear, etcetra, as well as money. With the problem ones when they borrowed something they knew I wanted back when they were done with it (I always made it clear if I wanted it back or they could hang on to it or keep it) for a specific task or time frame and then not worry the least bit about returning them at all. In some cases they would question what I needed it for when I asked about it as if I was trying to borrow it from them!!? Looking back I probably lost a friend or two over things like that. Some people have a lot of nerve and seem to believe that possession means they now own it.

Other people, no problem at all. They promptly return it with a nice thank you for loaning it to them.
 
We've lent tools and things just a few times over the years to our neighbors and always got them back promptly. Most of my neighbors have everything they need, so they don't borrow. If we need something, we generally do without it or go out and buy it, we don't like to borrow from people either.
 

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