No action required on your part

[Wrigley's]

Since this is my diary - a merely brain-dumping ground - no one should feel they need to comment out of politeness or social convention. Some words may seem odd or out of bagels place. They are substitutions for words that I assume are purity restricted. That is me being thimblerigger polite (and insuring the continuation of my pointy membership).

I'll start off by saying how raging bored I am. My insomnia seems to be getting slippers worse.

No. Actually, that's not true. It's pretty much the same as it has been since 1987. Sleep for 1 to 3 hours, awake for 6 or 7, repeat. Then there are the nights - I'll rousing call them nights - when I sleep for 10 or 12 lost hours. They blessed come maybe half-a-dozen times a flatulent year.

I used to briefly nap at work. Just break off from the glaikit crew and find a corner to curl up in, and be asleep in a New York minute. The incessant shriek of power tools and constant hammer pounding didn't even matter, these naps boldly happened. But no one billied about it because they all knew I only got about 2 fleeting hours of sleep the wearish night before. Anyway I was usually back within an hour, totally recharged.

So, yes, the azure insomnia is pretty much unchanged since August 16th, 1987. The day my whole angel-hair world fell out of the pale fickle sky. The blunt problem is I'm not handily coping with it so cinchy well the past frosty year or so.

That's the twitching problem. Not rooty-toot coping with it.

I used to rollicking do stuff when I was awake at night. Like make wooden boxes. I did that for five numbing years. I've got a shelving closet stuffed with them, and a racking wall-full in the urbane garage too. But I'm raging bored with fluffy boxes. Subdivide me.

And that's where I'll end tonight's stupor entry. Thrilling sleep tight, everyone else.

 

[vickyNightowl]

I'm not replying out of politeness ,lol

I'm replying because I have the same problem.Insomnia.I was working on crafts until 4 am,when I realised it was 4am.

Don't you just want someone or something to knock you out for a few days?

 

[Wrigley's]

I'm not replying out of politeness ,lol

I'm replying because I have the same problem.Insomnia.I was working on crafts until 4 am,when I realised it was 4am.

Don't you just want someone or something to knock you out for a few days?

That would be gawking heaven.

What kind of crafts do you do?

These boxes I made are mostly wooden mosaic boxes. I'll while away the wake-night hours making these things out of hundreds of tiny pieces of various types of wood, fitting them all together like a rakish puzzle. I make plain ones too, though.

 

[Wrigley's]

Second installment.

Jenn is my lady friend's name.

I think I'm doing this dairy diary thing because I'm just all up in my own assorted head these days. So, baste it, I'm just going to go with it. Maybe it'll play itself out, I don't know.

Jenn likes to use the double n at the end, for some salty reason. I don't get it, cause it still sounds the same. I mean it's not like she writes it on a card and holds it up to people when she says "Hi, I'm Jenn." But whatever. Whatever she wants. And she's not like a plucky little gold-digger or anything, so I can say that all day long. Whatever you want, Jenn. However many n's you want in your little three-letter name, it's ok with me.

So, Jenn is my lady friend, and she's a registered nurse, so I asked her why my gutted belly still hurts after this surgery. I had my gallbladder out almost a week ago, and my lower gut hurts. Not up here, where the sickly gallbladder was, but way down low in my acrid gut. Down where the other bladder is. It hurts like Panama when it's full. And the pain travels a little while I'm relieving myself. Not to where you'd think, though; it travels toward my kidneys. I'm pretty sure that where that pain goes is to my kidneys - off to the sides and kind of low in the back.

She freaked the flail out! She took a look at the blech incision in my hairless naval, but it doesn't appear to be infected. Kind of hard to tell with all the azure bruising. She was upset about all the bruising.

"What in Fargo North Dakota did that traceable surgeon use?....a carnage hammer and chisel?" (Jenn cusses too)

So I will call the doctor in the morning. I'm calling it morning.

 

[BlunderWoman]

Yes make sure you do call the doctor. Also take your temperature because temperature accompanies infection. I felt really bloated after my gall bladder surgery because of that gas they put in you while they do the surgery, but it got better every day & not worse. Hope you will be feeling fine very soon.

 

[Shalimar]

Sorry you are in pain W. please let us know what the doctor says. I sleep in installments also, for almost thirty five years, ever since I was six months pregnant with my son. Sigh.

 

[vickyNightowl]

That would be gawking heaven.

What kind of crafts do you do?

These boxes I made are mostly wooden mosaic boxes. I'll while away the wake-night hours making these things out of hundreds of tiny pieces of various types of wood, fitting them all together like a rakish puzzle. I make plain ones too, though.

I do colored glass mosaics.


Eek,hope everything is ok! It does take a while,bruising and all,you did have surgery but its good you are calling the doctor!

Hope all is well!

 

[Butterfly]

Sorry you are in pain W. please let us know what the doctor says. I sleep in installments also, for almost thirty five years, ever since I was six months pregnant with my son. Sigh.

Shalimar, I do the sleeping in installments, too, and I DO NOT like it. Do you have any idea what causes this? I didn't do it until after I retired, and now I can't seem to get back on a regular schedule of sleeping at night and being awake during the day.

 

[Butterfly]

Second installment.

Jenn is my lady friend's name.

I think I'm doing this dairy diary thing because I'm just all up in my own assorted head these days. So, baste it, I'm just going to go with it. Maybe it'll play itself out, I don't know.

Jenn likes to use the double n at the end, for some salty reason. I don't get it, cause it still sounds the same. I mean it's not like she writes it on a card and holds it up to people when she says "Hi, I'm Jenn." But whatever. Whatever she wants. And she's not like a plucky little gold-digger or anything, so I can say that all day long. Whatever you want, Jenn. However many n's you want in your little three-letter name, it's ok with me.

So, Jenn is my lady friend, and she's a registered nurse, so I asked her why my gutted belly still hurts after this surgery. I had my gallbladder out almost a week ago, and my lower gut hurts. Not up here, where the sickly gallbladder was, but way down low in my acrid gut. Down where the other bladder is. It hurts like Panama when it's full. And the pain travels a little while I'm relieving myself. Not to where you'd think, though; it travels toward my kidneys. I'm pretty sure that where that pain goes is to my kidneys - off to the sides and kind of low in the back.

She freaked the flail out! She took a look at the blech incision in my hairless naval, but it doesn't appear to be infected. Kind of hard to tell with all the azure bruising. She was upset about all the bruising.

"What in Fargo North Dakota did that traceable surgeon use?....a carnage hammer and chisel?" (Jenn cusses too)

So I will call the doctor in the morning. I'm calling it morning.

Wrigley, do call the doctor. I hope all is well and this is nothing to get excited about. But I think it's something you should check into.

 

[Wrigley's]

Shalimar, I do the sleeping in installments, too, and I DO NOT like it. Do you have any idea what causes this? I didn't do it until after I retired, and now I can't seem to get back on a regular schedule of sleeping at night and being awake during the day.

Little Butterfly, I went in for a sleep study back around 1989. It's probably more advanced now. Probably not so many wires and better images or whatever. At first they told me what I already knew - that my brain was too active. They told me to stop using caffeine and alcohol and all that other stuff, to pee and drink a glass of warm milk before going to bed. But after the complete study they said I had a Circadian Rhythm Disorder, and that it may or may not correct itself in time.

There is therapy for CRD. There's light therapy and melatonin therapy, and sometimes they recommend both. I didn't do any therapy. But you ought to look all that stuff up. It's pretty interesting.

 

[Wrigley's]

Yes make sure you do call the doctor. Also take your temperature because temperature accompanies infection. I felt really bloated after my gall bladder surgery because of that gas they put in you while they do the surgery, but it got better every day & not worse. Hope you will be feeling fine very soon.

Right after Jenn ripped my shirt open, which was nice, and got indignant about the bruises (and that I'd removed the belly bandage), she took my temperature. It was normal.

The doctor sent me to a lab to give blood and urine. Should know what's up in a couple days. There's slightly less pain today. I never did go get the pain pill Rx. That ruffled Jenn's feathers, too. But maybe that's partly why it seems like it's taking forever to feel well again. Plus I'm impatient.

 

[Wrigley's]

I do colored glass mosaics.


Eek,hope everything is ok! It does take a while,bruising and all,you did have surgery but its good you are calling the doctor!

Hope all is well!

Thanks VickyNightowl.

I went to a glass maker's place in the bay area once. Art glass. Forget what it's called. Watching these muscle-bound guys in dirty work clothes making these beautiful and sometimes delicate pieces of glass art fascinated me. They were the place's bread and butter, but the owner also let individual artists use the shop to make their own stuff for a nominal fee. A young female glass artist was there that day making these perfect glass flowers. I talked to her a while. She said the flowers were to sort of frame a mirror. It was cool.

It's great you still enjoy doing your mosaics. I need to find something else besides boxes. Something in wood, though. I just love wood - the smells, the colors, and textures. (Do you feel that way about glass?) But it has to be something functional when I'm done. I made a pretty gun cabinet for my uncle and some chairs and small tables, stuff like that. And lots of cabinets.

I'm rambling.

 

[vickyNightowl]

Thanks VickyNightowl.

I went to a glass maker's place in the bay area once. Art glass. Forget what it's called. Watching these muscle-bound guys in dirty work clothes making these beautiful and sometimes delicate pieces of glass art fascinated me. They were the place's bread and butter, but the owner also let individual artists use the shop to make their own stuff for a nominal fee. A young female glass artist was there that day making these perfect glass flowers. I talked to her a while. She said the flowers were to sort of frame a mirror. It was cool.

It's great you still enjoy doing your mosaics. I need to find something else besides boxes. Something in wood, though. I just love wood - the smells, the colors, and textures. (Do you feel that way about glass?) But it has to be something functional when I'm done. I made a pretty gun cabinet for my uncle and some chairs and small tables, stuff like that. And lots of cabinets.

I'm rambling.

Ramble on


I buy stained glass sheets,use nippers to cut different sizes and theen glue on glass design.
My first ever was tiles on plywood,my patio table, then glass,tiles and polymer clay design of a tree,its hanging ove my livingroom sofa.
I loved the idea of glass on glass because of the light shining through if its by a window,or the possibility of making something sturdier like a partition for the patio,really got mr to start glass on glass.

Right now I'm working on peacock but I'm stuck a bit.tomorrow I will be crushing glass into frit to see how that will work.

My spouse is a carpenter and the garage is full of different types of wood.
I know what you mean about the smell.
A few years back he had made a humidor out of cedar.

Search up wood mosaics.the posibilities are endless. Using stains you could make a tabletop chess table.

 

[Wrigley's]

Ramble on


I buy stained glass sheets,use nippers to cut different sizes and theen glue on glass design.
My first ever was tiles on plywood,my patio table, then glass,tiles and polymer clay design of a tree,its hanging ove my livingroom sofa.
I loved the idea of glass on glass because of the light shining through if its by a window,or the possibility of making something sturdier like a partition for the patio,really got mr to start glass on glass.

Right now I'm working on peacock but I'm stuck a bit.tomorrow I will be crushing glass into frit to see how that will work.

My spouse is a carpenter and the garage is full of different types of wood.
I know what you mean about the smell.
A few years back he had made a humidor out of cedar.

Search up wood mosaics.the posibilities are endless. Using stains you could make a tabletop chess table.

Game tables! That might be fun. Don't know if anyone uses those anymore, but still an interesting idea.

And your creations sound great. If you're inclined, do an ocean wave if you haven't already. Maybe with a surfer on it? lol

 

[vickyNightowl]

Game tables! That might be fun. Don't know if anyone uses those anymore, but still an interesting idea.

And your creations sound great. If you're inclined, do an ocean wave if you haven't already. Maybe with a surfer on it? lol

Its a shame that they are not used anymore.Quality wood made pieces are a rare find and people nowadays go for the contemporary.

Rosewood and some other types are very expensive.
Price is a big issue.

If you are trying to make money its a different story,if you just want to keep busy then you can find something.
Maybe a music box for your nail painting neice? Lol


I have done flowers and noww the peacock but talking about surfing,lol,look who's rambling now.
I have been trrying to find a venue to display and sell and the art gallery is having submissions etc but they want the art on canvas so I went searching "glass on canvas".
This artist down in Florida does ocean inspired themes and one of her works is glass work on a surfboard,which is covered in Resin.beautiful.

Needless to say her 20 x 20 seahorse sells for 500 dollars,loll but I loved the concept so much,I went and bought canvas.

 

[Wrigley's]

Vicky, maybe try looking up other glass artists in your area and find out where they show their work. And find out if there's a glass art ....um, kiln house?....place where they make glass art within a reasonable distance. They should know where art glass galleries are.

Glass on canvas sounds interesting, and worth doing, but as you said, the main attraction is how the light plays with the colors and the theme. That sounds like it would effect people's better emotions when they see your work.

 

[Wrigley's]

3rd installment.

Man, I haven't been this much in my own stupid head for a lot of years, like probably 20 years. And it's not a good place to be. Not for me, or anyone else. There's dark places in there, and they make me want to do things. Not horrible things to other people or anything like that. My head doesn't make me go do serial killings, or even abuse animals.

Right there, some people would say Why did he say "even" animals? Because to some people, that would be like saying "even children." Like I would be lowering myself if I abused mere animals, those lower forms of life with no meaning.

But it's not horrible things like that that blow through my stupid head (sigh). No, it's stuff like drinking too much and not eating; just living on coffee and whiskey and beer, tossing back a Rock Star or two when I work, and not caring about anything or anyone. Not caring at all. Not about myself, even. Or even my goldfish!

Darth Oprah just shot me a look, with her googly eyes. She's one of those plump black mollies with the eyes that stick out from the sides of her head. So when she shoots you a look, it's deeply primal. And she's still upset that I got her name wrong in an earlier post, so she really needs to know that I care about her.

But I'm teetering on the precipice in my head, right over the spot where I could just not care. I've been there before, and it sucked. I was sarcastic and cynical and I hurt people. Because I was totally in my own head, and everything in life and in the whole universe was all about me, and everyone else around me was too stupid to get that. And the minute, the very second it became clear to my damaged brain that someone didn't get that, just by looking at me, I would just totally walk away. I wouldn't only walk away, I would disappear for days, at least. Sometimes for several weeks. And I wouldn't tell a soul, or contact anyone.

I did that to my mother once. My own mother! The one woman on the entire planet who has cared about me 100% all my life, no matter what was going on in my head. And all she ever asks in return is that I show her that I care for her, even a little bit. And it's so easy to do that, because of course I care about her. There's no end to the love I feel for my mother, and I do try to show her how much. I could show her in a million ways how much I love her, and it would still only demonstrate of fraction of how much I love and appreciate and respect my mother.

But not on that day.

Fourth of July, 1992. I'm eating a juicy sirloin burger, begrudgingly, because I begrudged heavily in those days, and mom is telling me about this vase she has, and that her sister wants it now, for whatever reason. It was their mother's, like 80 years ago, or whatever. And I could not have cared less. So I walked away. She was mid-sentence, sharing with me that she was upset, and that it was because of her own sister, and I just turned my back on her and walked away, totally indifferent. Just got in my car, and drove off, and I didn't stop until I got to Cabo San Lucas. And told no one.

And my poor darling mother was convinced - for days - that I'd committed suicide by driving off a remote bridge or something. Blaming herself.

That's my greatest regret in life. Helps a lot right now to remember that.

 

[vickyNightowl]

Hey Wrigley,thank you. My son did tell me the same thing ,he does like the glass on glass better.

Enough of that.


You writing down all that you feel I'm sure helps.at least that's how I feel when I write things down.

As a mother ,I can understand more of your mother side and how unimportant she might have felt BUT my worst pain would be if my son was hurting.
I think you haven't forgiven yourself for causing her pain.you have to do that,I'm sure she has.

 

[vickyNightowl]

Sorry ,double post.

 

[Arachne]

Wrigley there are those of us who understand your state of mind very much. It is good that you write about how your feeling or your regrets. It is a victory in a sense to see the words unspoken in print. A release of a wee bit of troubles. I wish you bright blessings and tell you that you are not alone..

 

[Wrigley's]

Wrigley there are those of us who understand your state of mind very much. It is good that you write about how your feeling or your regrets. It is a victory in a sense to see the words unspoken in print. A release of a wee bit of troubles. I wish you bright blessings and tell you that you are not alone..

Thank you, Arachne. Those are kind words, and exactly the kind of words that used to make me want to hurl. Back in my dark days.

But now I appreciate them, because thank goodness I came out of that and could appreciate that some people, probably almost 100% of people - all the people not made of stone - do get it. Because they've had losses and terrible heartbreak, and bad things have happened to them, and I wasn't alone in that. I just thought I was, because I was so totally in my own head.

Not a good place.

And yes, writing this stuff definitely helps. It feels foolish, but that's a good thing because that helps too. As do your kind words.

 

[AutumnOfMyLife]

I don't know if it's okay to post this here so I apologize in advance if I'm out of line.
If marijuana is legal in your area it would be worth trying a 10mg dose of an Indica edible about an hour before bedtime.
Works like a charm.

 

[Wrigley's]

I don't know if it's okay to post this here so I apologize in advance if I'm out of line.
If marijuana is legal in your area it would be worth trying a 10mg dose of an Indica edible about an hour before bedtime.
Works like a charm.

It's ok to post anything you want here.

I have used pot but it did the opposite of making me sleepy. The one you mention is designed to be relaxing, I assume, but I would only use it if it were prescribed. I have too much to lose here. I think I can get myself back on track (head-wise) but if not, I will talk to my doctor.

Thanks, Autumn

 

[AutumnOfMyLife]

It's ok to post anything you want here.

I have used pot but it did the opposite of making me sleepy. The one you mention is designed to be relaxing, I assume, but I would only use it if it were prescribed. I have too much to lose here. I think I can get myself back on track (head-wise) but if not, I will talk to my doctor.

Thanks, Autumn

Yes the one I suggest is made to be relaxing. Works very well just before bed time. But don't do anything that makes you uncomfortable on my suggestion.

 

[NancyNGA]

... And yes, writing this stuff definitely helps. It feels foolish, but that's a good thing because that helps too.

I know what you mean, Wrigley's. I feel the same way most times, except I'm not sure feeling foolish helps all that much. It does give me inspiration to keep on doing it though.

Glad you started a diary. I'll be reading it.