No More Empty Nest

Jace

Jace

Well-known Member
Because of the tight job market, 85% of college seniors in a "Twentysomething Research" poll
said they planned to move back home with their parents after graduation.

Some plan to stay even after they get a job!😉

Because of the economic times, has a relative come to live with you?🤔
And "how's it going"?
 

My granddaughter continues to live at home. She’s now going into her 4th year of university and has decided to complete it online; she’s been doing it remotely since March of 2020. She told her mom that she’s never leaving, she can’t afford it. Considering most parents are very liberal now, there’s no issue with spending the night with the boyfriend.
 
There is a big difference in peoples experience...
sometimes it can be a benefit for both parties and the young person can help out financially ..
Others are simply a burden and live off the generosity of their parents or sometimes grandparents...and it does not help the young person as it delays their independence.
 
I've been in situations where an adult child lived with me, and also where I lived with an adult child. We are a very close family, and it was never an issue, other than the one time when my son who is an addict went into active addiction while living in my home. I told him if that happened I'd tell him to leave, and I did.
 
My Eldest Jay recently came home for 6 months.
It went well and I thoroughly enjoyed his company, my youngest son Jess wasn't crazy about him moving in.

I am pleased to say they only had 2 spats.
Thank God.

All three of my children know that wherever I am living that is home to them, and whether I am speaking to them or not at the time, they will always have a warm bed, food, and whatever else they need.
 
My two "grands" are living with my daughter as one is working on her PHD and the other one can work and does but has a physical disability. They pay rent to my daughter and in the summer they each pay 1/3 of the electric bill. They keep their rooms clean and clean their bathrooms after each use. They also do their own laundry and help with groceries, etc. So far so good. Rent is awfully high here in the Houston area and prices for houses are out of sight. Right now it works for them.
 
It used to be the norm for families to live together. When a son married, he brought his wife to live with his parents. This is still the custom in other cultures. It solves a lot of problems, so long as everyone gets on with each other.
I'm living alone but my children know they can come and stay with me any time they wish.
 
Each one of my kids moved back home for a while. Some for just a few months until they found a job and saved up some money. Others to finish an education. I guess it's just part of the parent's never ending job.
 
Once upon a time (or so I have heard), it was common for multiple generations to cohabitate, with each person contributing what they could to support the home and family. I'm probably thinking about "The Waltons," eh? I think that's great. However, I am opposed to free-loading children who like being dependents and I don't have a great deal of respect for parents who allow this to continue. Even birds are smart enough to know when it is time to push the babies out of the nest.
 
There are many multi-generational families living together in Europe, especially in places like Italy. The younger people actually value the wisdom and experience of their grandparents and the grandparents and parents are happy to have younger people living with them. There are also, of course, economic reasons.

We were in Barcelona many years ago sitting in front of one of their churches, and learned it is a tradition for the extended families to dance with each other on Sunday. Grandparents were dancing with grandchildren. There seems to be more of an appreciation for the elderly there, unlike here in the US.

https://www.thelocal.it/20181218/two-thirds-of-young-italians-are-still-living-with-their-parents/
 
My son and his girlfriend, and her son (baby) lived with me for 3 1/2 years before they married, saving for their wedding and their first home. I loved having them here and really enjoyed being a Grandma. I must say I was happy for them when they reached a goal of their own home but I really miss having them here. It get me busy having people to take care of. There is no greater joy than having a baby to look after, to watch the grow and learn. Having them come to climb into your lap and fall into a blissful sleep in your arms. During this time, my Mother started to have health issues and I had to bring her into the home. So I had a full house, all with different needs. Somehow I made it work. I had to cook 3 meals a day for Mom, she mostly ate vegetables and I had to clear her meals with what she wanted. I also had to help her bath and dress, took care of her medication. I cooked for my son and DIL if they wanted. Of course I made sure I had things for the baby.

My Mom has passed at 90. Son and family in their own home. So here I am, just me and 3 dogs. One of the 3 a dog that came to me when his Dad (best family friend) died suddenly. He is to big for me to handle but I would not trust anyone else to take care of him. I just don't have a clue if I am doing the right things anymore..
 
I love my kids but have told them I would rather pay their rent for a year than let them move back home! Fortunantly neither has taken me up on the offer.

I have an older brother who has lived in a small trailer for 25 years that is tucked in a barn, no hot water, no shower or tub, very primitive. Two years ago he ended up in the hospital and told me he will have to stay with me for a moth or so while he recoveries. I told him no.

My fear is once I let someone live in my home they will never leave, and that would ruin the only sanctuary I have.
 
Jules said:
My granddaughter continues to live at home. She’s now going into her 4th year of university and has decided to complete it online; she’s been doing it remotely since March of 2020. She told her mom that she’s never leaving, she can’t afford it. Considering most parents are very liberal now, there’s no issue with spending the night with the boyfriend.
Click to expand...
Sounds like they may have a good relationship. I’m not really in a position to know this as fact, but it seems there isn’t that stigma of ‘failure to launch’ that there once was.
 
C50 said:
I love my kids but have told them I would rather pay their rent for a year than let them move back home! Fortunantly neither has taken me up on the offer.

I have an older brother who has lived in a small trailer for 25 years that is tucked in a barn, no hot water, no shower or tub, very primitive. Two years ago he ended up in the hospital and told me he will have to stay with me for a moth or so while he recoveries. I told him no.

My fear is once I let someone live in my home they will never leave, and that would ruin the only sanctuary I have.
Click to expand...
Sometimes we need to save ourselves first.
 
10 years ago my son came to live with me. Now I live with him and his family. I recall the day he moved in. As I lifted a speaker, I twisted, had a stabbing pain in my lower back, and forever lost feeling in my feet. I guess you could call that good timing.
 
Blessed said:
My son and his girlfriend, and her son (baby) lived with me for 3 1/2 years before they married, saving for their wedding and their first home. I loved having them here and really enjoyed being a Grandma. I must say I was happy for them when they reached a goal of their own home but I really miss having them here. It get me busy having people to take care of. There is no greater joy than having a baby to look after, to watch the grow and learn. Having them come to climb into your lap and fall into a blissful sleep in your arms. During this time, my Mother started to have health issues and I had to bring her into the home. So I had a full house, all with different needs. Somehow I made it work. I had to cook 3 meals a day for Mom, she mostly ate vegetables and I had to clear her meals with what she wanted. I also had to help her bath and dress, took care of her medication. I cooked for my son and DIL if they wanted. Of course I made sure I had things for the baby.

My Mom has passed at 90. Son and family in their own home. So here I am, just me and 3 dogs. One of the 3 a dog that came to me when his Dad (best family friend) died suddenly. He is to big for me to handle but I would not trust anyone else to take care of him. I just don't have a clue if I am doing the right things anymore..
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You have clearly done the right things for many years. I know you are going through a difficult time with the loss of your husband, but I'm sure your kids and grandkids still love and appreciate you. I can't even pretend to understand what you are going through, but my only advice is that you wake up each morning and think of the positives in your life. Think about what a great mother and grandmother you still are. And now you are making the lives of your 3 fur babies so much better by the fact that you take care of them. And they will give you their unconditional love right back.

I'm sure there are so many positive traits that you have. Focus on them!
 
Jace said:
Because of the economic times, has a relative come to live with you?🤔
And "how's it going"?
Click to expand...
Yeah, we raised a couple grandkids.
Turned out quite well.
At present, my commercial fisherman son is parking his stuff at our cabin.
Our grandgirls love it there.

As far as the other (13) grands, they've managed on their own.

I see this economy forcing families together, long term.
Didn't the Europeans of old do that?
Seems the two story houses were the place to have.
And handed down to future generations.
 
My 3 sons returned home a few times when they wanted to finish college or hit a rough time. Last year when I divorced my third husband my youngest came home to remodel the condo I bought. He asked if I wanted a roommate for awhile and he has stayed and is helping with expenses. He is taking care of my dogs while I go to Ireland for 11 days in June.

He doesn’t intend to stay forever but I have enjoyed his company and have added to my savings with the money he has paid. Of course he is also saving money because rent here is expensive so it’s helped both of us.
 

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