Festus rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the saloon's regulars had a habit of picking on strangers. When the deputy finished his drink and left the saloon, he found that his mule, Ruth, had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without looking and fired a shot into the ceiling.
"Which one of you sidewinders stole my mule?" he yelled forcefully. No one answered.
"All right, I'm gonna have another beer, and if my mule ain't back outside by the time I finish, I'm gonna do what I done in Dodge City! And I don't want to have to do what I done in Dodge City!"
Some of the locals shifted restlessly. Festus, true to his word, had another beer and walked outside, to find that Ruth has been returned to his post. He saddled up and prepared to ride out of town. The bartender followed the deputy out of the bar. "Say, partner, before you go," the bartender asked nervously, "what did you have to do in Dodge City?"
Festus turned back and said, "Well, I had to walk home."
