Now I know why Scrooge was so bitter

debodun

debodun

SF VIP
Location
way upstate in New York, USA
BAH! HUMBUG! I can't help feeling screwed over this year in the way of gifts. I've never seen such cheap and thoughtless items. I actually cried when I opened them yesterday. Makes me think twice about getting involved with grab bags and "Secret Santas" next year. Either it was something I can't use (like the earrings for pierced ears) or the gifts I gave in exchange were worth many times what I received in exchange despite the instructions on some grab bags that the gift had to be worth at least $5. Am I overreacting (see photos)?

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Deb, I can't argue with your commentary on these "gifts" They are awful, cheap, crummy and almost an insult to the recipient. I say almost.

I wish for you to remember that Christmas is a time of giving, not keeping a scoreboard of who gave what and how it measures up to what you gave.

You have the generous heart, the good taste and the means with which to delight others with your Christmas giving. Be happy about that, be happy about who you are and don't waste time crying over the lesser value of the gifts you've received. Merry Christmas.
 
I hate grab bags... I always try to spend the amount dictated... however, I make sure I shop sales and use coupons so my gift is always worth many times more than what has been decided on. I put a lot of thought into it so that it's something that can be used and appreciated by everyone.... THEN.. I always go home with the cheapest crapiest gift in the pile. I try to avoid grab bags when I can...
 

QuickSilver said:
I always try to spend the amount dictated.
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At least you make an effort instead of grabbing something out of your household "junk drawer" as a gift.

Another event that got to me was at at the church ladies party when the pastor's wife showed up without a grab bag gift and went home with one. That means someone that brought a gift didn't get one. At my family's party, there are 9 women, but this year only 4 participated in the grab bag. Maybe that should have clued me.
 
Or you can have the Spousal Equivalent's two grown sons (in their 30's and with good jobs).....he always gives them each a very generous monetary gift for Christmas every year and every year we get ....nothing....not a card, not a box of chocolates...nothing. Of course, Facebook is full of pictures of their parties with the other side of the family and much bragging about gifts given and received to and from family and friends. Yes, I'm bitter....not for me because I frankly don't care but it hurts him.
 
RadishRose said:
Deb, I can't argue with your commentary on these "gifts" They are awful, cheap, crummy and almost an insult to the recipient. I say almost.

I wish for you to remember that Christmas is a time of giving, not keeping a scoreboard of who gave what and how it measures up to what you gave.

You have the generous heart, the good taste and the means with which to delight others with your Christmas giving. Be happy about that, be happy about who you are and don't waste time crying over the lesser value of the gifts you've received. Merry Christmas.
Click to expand...

I agree with RadishRose, better to just feel the spirit when giving to others and not let the value or thought that goes into those grab bag gifts hold any more importance than they deserve. Honestly, from all you've mentioned in the past about these little gifts, perhaps people are bored with it and no longer enjoy it or feel put out. Seems like your get-togethers would be happier if the $5 grab bags were discontinued. Just my opinion, enjoy the rest of your holidays. :)
 
I can relate, really I can. It's not so much keeping score but more like I appreciate you made an effort. Year round if I see a book or t shirt or other item just perfect for someone I'll grab it. Like last night there were two gifts that stood out for son and his wife. One was a Ninja Turtle mug. He said that just became his mug for work, his favorite cartoon as a kid. For his wife a simple tiny statue of a sleeping baby bear. It used to be pink but I mixed a pretty pale blue paint and turned it into a boy bear.

Simple stuff but with a bit of thought behind them. I mean for family or friends especially but even for a grab bag...something universally appealing at least. But with family or friends the internet makes it so easy jeez...say you have a relation that you know is a Yankee fan and they like to golf. You want to spend under $15. All you have to do is Google Yankees or golf $10.99 and you can find gift ideas instantly.
 
I avoid those grab bag party things like the plague. IMHO they almost always engender hurt feelings and it's just not worth it; all you ever get is junk, anyway. Next time just give whatever you would have spent on the church group gift as a donation to the church and don't participate in the other ones. Or suggest the grab bag thing be discontinued altogether.
 
Another example of making an effort. Despite how grumpy and negative my Dad has become. Also the fact that he hates companion critters. His "pet" is a carved wooden bird in a cage, no noise, no mess. He gave me a huge cat encyclopedia. Definitely appreciated!
 
SifuPhil said:
See how much grief you can avoid when you don't get involved in the whole gifting thing?
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How true -- my family several years ago decided not to give gifts anymore outside their primary family unit (I mean like their own kids, etc.). It saves everyone a whole lot of time, hassle and money. Sounds grinchy, but true, and you can concentrate on the stuff that really matters and not worry if Aunt Sally will be offended if you exchange (or NEVER wear) the ugly sweater she gave you. AND, as a bonus, you don't feel like throwing up when you get your credit card bill in January!
 
I realize Christmas isn't truly about gifts, but it just seemed this year was particularly tawdry. Is money that tight that you put a $10 gift in a grab bag and get a 50¢ one in return, or even no item?
 
I caught a segment of Good Morning America today and they were making a big deal out of how many people were returning / exchanging gifts.

Definitely a First-World problem.
 
I’ve known of people to participate in gift exchanges and bring a crummy gift that’s obviously something they had sitting around and didn’t want – then look all sheepish and plead poverty. However, they must think people are blind, deaf, and stupid because they mention (or you're aware of) expensive, very nice gifts they’ve given to others. A $5 - $10 dollar store gift is easy to pick up - they just don't want to bother.

Sure it’s better to give than to receive. :angel:
Sure, it’s best to enjoy the “spirit” of Christmas. :angel:
But I’d still prefer that people not piss on my shoes and tell me it’s raining. :rolleyes:

Best not to have any expectations as far as gift exchanges or to avoid them completely.

SifuPhil said:
I caught a segment of Good Morning America today and they were making a big deal out of how many people were returning / exchanging gifts.

Definitely a First-World problem.
Click to expand...


And I've had it up.to.here with all the "Have you finished your Christmas shopping yet?" segments. All our local news stations are full of those......reporters at the malls, etc. sticking mics in people's faces.
puke.gif
 
applecruncher said:
I’ve known of people to participate in gift exchanges and bring a crummy gift that’s obviously something they had sitting around and didn’t want – then look all sheepish and plead poverty. However, they must think people are blind, deaf, and stupid because they mention (or you're aware of) expensive, very nice gifts they’ve given to others. A $5 - $10 dollar store gift is easy to pick up - they just don't want to bother.

Sure it’s better to give than to receive. :angel:
Sure, it’s best to enjoy the “spirit” of Christmas. :angel:
But I’d still prefer that people not piss on my shoes and tell me it’s raining. :rolleyes:

Best not to have any expectations as far as gift exchanges or to avoid them completely.




And I've had it up.to.here with all the "Have you finished your Christmas shopping yet?" segments. All our local news stations are full of those......reporters at the malls, etc. sticking mics in people's faces.
puke.gif
Click to expand...

tsk, tsk, tsk.....Too much holiday makes us kinda crabby, eh? Recommended solution: A tall glass 3oz of Jim Beam top with eggnog garnish with nutmeg. I am kinda like I guess you are but it's over for another year so we can relax again.
 
No, not too much holiday.
Not crabby at all.
Can't stand Jim Beam, don't like egg nog either.
I'm relaxed most of the time.

I've seen you say - more than once - we all don't have to agree all the time. Not a reason to make negative off-base assumptions.
 
I agree the gift exchanges are for the birds and as no one really knows each other that well, any gift choice would probably be wrong. This is where regifting runs rampant, so expect old stinky candles, hideous place mats and unsightly knick knacks. Just say thanks, and move on. If I can't get out of it, my only hope is that they are anonymous.
 
Day after xmas can be somewhat anticlimactic --- eggnog for me too with a hit of rum, please. I'm relaxed, so relaxed......
 
I saw my aunt at church today and related my displeasure with the family grab bag items. She said that she thinks $5 is just a suggested value for a grab bag gift and is the UPPER limit, whereas I think $5 is the LOW limit. Any opinion on that? She also added that she had another item that she was going to put in the grab bag, but decided it was "too good" and substituted something else. If this is such a contentious issue with people, why is any value asked for a grab bag item, or even have one at all? The worst thing I ever saw in a grab bag was the first Christmas where I worked. Somebody put in a corn cob with an electric cord at one end. Luckily, I didn't get that.
 
Maybe if it's a grab bag the organizers could put out a light hearted flyer ahead of time of suggested gift choices. I don't know, there must be some inexpensive goodies that would be universally welcome. A better choice for members that know each other...maybe a list of members and someone picks someone else to be their own gift buddy. So if you know Karen well but not Sharon, but Karen is a good friend of Sharon...something like that perhaps?
 

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