OK, time for funny Thanksgiving stories:

[jujube]

Post your funny Thanksgiving stories, you know, like the time Uncle Bob fell asleep with his face in the mashed potatos and also asphyxiated....

I'll start: Mom, as usual, put the raw turkey in the sink in water to defrost overnight. She'd get up about five to put it in the oven to cook slowly for hours. All was well until about 3 a.m. when she woke to the cat standing on her abdomen and yarking up bits of undigested turkey parts all over the place. She went downstairs to find a sick dog and two more guilty sick cats.

Apparently, at some point during the early a.m. hours, a combination of the critters, working together for once, had managed to get the darn turkey out of the sink and onto the floor where they had been savaging it for hours. The turkey looked like it had gone 10 rounds with a rabid wolverine; it wasn't salvagable, needless to say.

We really enjoyed the fried chicken and dressing and green bean casserole and candied yams that day. Who said you HAD to have turkey?

 

[GeorgiaXplant]

My all-time favorite Thanksgiving TV show was watching Phyllis Diller demonstrating how to stuff a turkey...through the beak November 27, 1960! After all these years, it still makes me laugh whenever I see it again.

 

[Ruth n Jersey]

Years ago the Butterball turkeys came with a double string with 3 or 4 little plastic buttons. You would take the strings and lay it on the bottom of the roasting pan and drape the ends over opposite edges.
When the turkey was done you just lifted it out by the free ends. It really worked great.
I had finished roasting the turkey and threw the string in the garbage. I guess it was pretty well flavored with turkey.
Our cat found it and somehow managed to swallow the entire thing.
I only noticed it when she was walking past me and had about a inch hanging from the side of her mouth.
I don't know why she wasn't gagging on it.
I grabbed the end of the string. I pulled and she backed up. Her eyes were as big as saucers as I reeled her in.
I manage to pull it out which I'm sure was headed for her intestines.
It seems funny now but back then it scared me to death. She could have died had I not retrieved it.

 

[Murrmurr]

Years ago the Butterball turkeys came with a double string with 3 or 4 little plastic buttons. You would take the strings and lay it on the bottom of the roasting pan and drape the ends over opposite edges.
When the turkey was done you just lifted it out by the free ends. It really worked great.
I had finished roasting the turkey and threw the string in the garbage. I guess it was pretty well flavored with turkey.
Our cat found it and somehow managed to swallow the entire thing.
I only noticed it when she was walking past me and had about a inch hanging from the side of her mouth.
I don't know why she wasn't gagging on it.
I grabbed the end of the string. I pulled and she backed up. Her eyes were as big as saucers as I reeled her in.
I manage to pull it out which I'm sure was headed for her intestines.
It seems funny now but back then it scared me to death. She could have died had I not retrieved it.

On the bright side, that inch of string wasn't hanging out of her other end. Would have been a lot less fun "reeling her in" then.

 

[Llynn]

WKRP Turkey Drop. Singularly one of the funniest things ever on TV.

 

[RadishRose]

 

[GeorgiaXplant]

OMG! I'd forgotten about this one. Too funny!

 

[Aunt Bea]

Funny to some, disgusting and gross to others.

I was the guest of an old friend for Thanksgiving one year. Katie the elderly house cat decided to sample the pumpkin pies that were stored on the enclosed porch. When it came time to serve the pies we had to do some creative slicing and pile the whipped cream a little higher than usual.