Older People Are Pretty Cool

No one believes seniors . . . Everyone thinks they are senile.

An elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired. Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they'd shared, where Jerry had carved I love you, Sally.

On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up and, not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money - fifty thousand dollars!

Jerry said, We've got to give it back.

Sally said, Finders keepers. She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.


The next day, two police officers were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money, and knocked on their door. Pardon me, did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday?

Sally said, No.

Jerry said, She’s lying. She hid it up in the attic.

Sally said, Don't believe him, he’s getting senile



The agents turned to Jerry and began to question him.

One said: Tell us the story from the beginning.

Jerry said, Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday ......



The first police officer turned to his partner and said, Were outta here!
 

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An elderly couple walk into a drugstore.

Clerk: Welcome to Center Drugs. Can I help you find anything?

Old man: Sonny, do you have X-lax, Feenamint, and Peptobismol?

Clerk: Of course we do, sir.

Old lady: How about knee braces, raised toilet seats and adult diapers?

Clerk: Yes, ma'am, we have all those.

Old man: Ben-Gay, senior vitamins, and aspirin?

Clerk: All those are here, sir. Is there anything else I can help you with?

Old lady: Yes, we're getting married next week. Can do our gift registry here?
 
George, aged 60, has gone to the doctor for his annual checkup.

Doctor: George, you are in amazing shape for your age.

George: Well, it runs in the family.

Doctor: How old was your father when he died?

George: Did I say my father was dead?

Doctor: Your father is still alive? How old is he?

George: Dad's 83 and he still plays golf five days a week. Bowls a couple times a week, walks two miles every morning, and he was still running marathons until his knee started bothering him a couple of years ago.

Doctor: Amazing! How about your grandfather? How old was he when he died?

George: Did I say my grandfather was dead?

Doctor: Now wait a minute. Your father is 83 and you say your grandfather is still alive?

George: Yep, he's still going strong at 103. He plays golf with Dad at least twice a week, walks every morning and loves to dance. In fact, the old guy's getting married next week.

Doctor: 103!!! Why in the world would your grandfather want to get married at 103?

George: Did I say he *WANTED* to get married?
 
These are all great!

Meanderer said:
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This makes me think of me and my grandson. When he was two, we used to race and place tag. (I'd let him win sometimes.) When I lost my ability to run, he and I both missed the fun and he was always saying Grammy when you get a Hoveround, I'm going to race you. I got a powerchair this past summer when he was 10 and first thing we did was head to the parking lot to race and we loved it. Yes, he can out run the highest speed. :)
 
Meanderer said:
Josef beats Cruiser by a nose! :)

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He needs to kick that up to top speed! I have five speed levels on mine. 3 is safe indoors, any faster not. Walking with people seems to be between 3 and 4 but I mostly cruise around at 5 which is not quite as fast as most run.

I bet I could race turtles on 1. It is so slow. Maybe that's what he's doing! That could be a hoot!
 


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