On being a 5th Wheel

[Buckeye]

I'm getting ready to head to the Community Center for our "Christmas Dinner". There will be 70 to 80 folks in attendance. I went to similar events for 4th of July, Labor Day, Thanksgiving. Now that I live alone, I've noticed that virtually everyone else who is there is part of a couple. I am the only single person that I see. And it is mostly retired folks, like me.

If you want to feel like the proverbial 5th wheel, this is the place. Oh, everyone is polite enough, but I am increasingly uncomfortable in that milieu, and this will probably be my last one. If it wasn't for the promise of a good old fashioned dinner, Hoot & I would just stay home.

Am I alone in this?

Mele Kalikimaka (Merry Christmas)

 

[RadishRose]

I'm getting ready to head to the Community Center for our "Christmas Dinner". There will be 70 to 80 folks in attendance. I went to similar events for 4th of July, Labor Day, Thanksgiving. Now that I live alone, I've noticed that virtually everyone else who is there is part of a couple. I am the only single person that I see. And it is mostly retired folks, like me.

If you want to feel like the proverbial 5th wheel, this is the place. Oh, everyone is polite enough, but I am increasingly uncomfortable in that milieu, and this will probably be my last one. If it wasn't for the promise of a good old fashioned dinner, Hoot & I would just stay home.

Am I alone in this?

Mele Kalikimaka (Merry Christmas)

No you're not alone in this. I've also had that feeling and I'm sure many others, too. But when I am honest with myself in that I don't want to be part of a couple, I feel better.

 

[Aunt Bea]

No, you are not alone!

Funny that situations such as the one you describe are very uncomfortable and awkward for me but being alone and paddling around town on my own doesn't bother me at all. It just seems to be social situations that I have trouble with so I avoid them. Since I stopped working I don't do much that bothers me, I'm quite content to live within my comfort zone!

 

[Carla]

I'm getting ready to head to the Community Center for our "Christmas Dinner". There will be 70 to 80 folks in attendance. I went to similar events for 4th of July, Labor Day, Thanksgiving. Now that I live alone, I've noticed that virtually everyone else who is there is part of a couple. I am the only single person that I see. And it is mostly retired folks, like me.

If you want to feel like the proverbial 5th wheel, this is the place. Oh, everyone is polite enough, but I am increasingly uncomfortable in that milieu, and this will probably be my last one. If it wasn't for the promise of a good old fashioned dinner, Hoot & I would just stay home.

Am I alone in this?

Mele Kalikimaka (Merry Christmas)

Of course you are not alone in this. You know, I think the couples thing really stands out even more after we suffer a loss. It may also be their absence we feel (along with the aloneness) that makes us feel uncomfortable. Hope it went OK and try not to label yourself as a fifth wheel, you have every right to go out and socialize.

 

[Ruthanne]

How did the Christmas dinner go? I got tired of seeing couples together everywhere I went so I mostly stay home with the pet family.

 

[SeaBreeze]

I agree with Carla Hoot, you shouldn't label yourself or put a damper on what might be an enjoyable outing for you. I don't think of the expression '5th wheel' unless it's referring to a third person who tags along on a date to the movies, restaurant, etc. But a dinner involving 70 to 80 people is a friendly gathering where you should feel at home and welcome, IMO. I advise that you just take a different outlook and continue to enjoy get togethers like this, you are likely overthinking it and nobody else even notices. :love_heart:

 

[Buckeye]

How did the Christmas dinner go? I got tired of seeing couples together everywhere I went so I mostly stay home with the pet family.

Thank you for asking Ruthanne. You know, I just couldn't do it. We had been asked to take a "canned goods donation" for the local food panty, so I took that down. I was a little late so there was a line for the food. I stood in line for about a minute, and just decided I didn't have to go thru that again. So I just walked back out to the car and left. Went to a local Asian place and got a dinner to go. I know that at some point I may have to "get over it", but yesterday was not the day.

 

[Ruthanne]

Thank you for asking Ruthanne. You know, I just couldn't do it. We had been asked to take a "canned goods donation" for the local food panty, so I took that down. I was a little late so there was a line for the food. I stood in line for about a minute, and just decided I didn't have to go thru that again. So I just walked back out to the car and left. Went to a local Asian place and got a dinner to go. I know that at some point I may have to "get over it", but yesterday was not the day.

I can see that it would be really hard for you and at this time of year yet. I'm sure your food donation was appreciated. I've been thinking of doing something like that, too, but not sure where to give to yet. Have a few blankets to donate.

Really haven't been in the Christmas spirit this year. I put up a really small tree and some lights in my front window. I wonder if my pets like the lights...I see them looking at them. It's hard being alone I know. :hurt: