People who are consistently late- How much does it irk you?

BlunderWoman

BlunderWoman

Senior Member
I didn't put this in the entertainment section because I want to discuss people who are consistently late. How do you feel about it? It's one of my biggest pet peeves.

In this episode of Everybody Loves Raymond Ray is getting tired of Debra making him wait for her. They're late for everything. So he decides to set a time, and if Debra isn't ready by that time, he's leaving without her. He tells her he's fed up with her always having an excuse for making him late to everything while she takes her time primping in the bathroom. He tells her she always has some lame excuse & that this time he would like to get there in time for the good appetizers before they are gone. She asks him what time she needs to be ready and he tells her and she agrees to be ready on time if he doesn't yell up the stairs at her that it's time to go all the time.
So , the next night it's time to go and Debra at the last minute gets her curling iron stuck in her hair. She goes downstairs only to realize that Ray has just driven off to go to the awards without her. She is LIVID and Ray's whole family takes her side.


Okay my question is this- how do you feel about what Ray did? As for myself I don't blame him & I find myself feeling very happy when he drives off without her. I HATE waiting for people who can't ever get ready on time. I think when someone does that all the time they deserve to be left while someone drives off.


The episode is called 'Lateness' Season 8 episode 14


It can be watched free here:
http://watchseries.cr/series/everybody-loves-raymond/season/8/episode/14
 

I think people who make others wait and are always late for appointments, shows, etc. are very inconsiderate. It annoys me too, I'm usually early when showing up for work or other obligations, and at least on time. Good for Ray, didn't think he had the backbone. :playful:
 
My wife gets upset because I always have to be early... everywhere we go. Just a habit, but motivated by being agitated by those who are always late. Wife's sister-in-law has gotten better over the years. Used to be we knew she would be a half hour late no matter what the occasion.

I worked for a guy once who would keep appointments waiting way past their time. His problem was his ego. Felt that by keeping someone waiting... and probably making them late for their next appointment... showed his own power.

There is no justification for always arriving late. Once in a decade due to a completely uncontrollable circumstance... maybe. If you have trouble getting to places on time, start a half hour earlier!!!!!
 

CONSISTANTLY ??!! They are TOXIC and I'd drop them like a hot potato!

They're usually "Drama Queens/ Kings; Attention Whores and not worth having as friends.

Once in awhile, with a good excuse, I can understand and even sympathize with them.
 
Sometimes there are legitimate reasons for being late--things out of our control. However, if someone is habitually late, then someone should speak up. Excluding appointments and other time sensitive functions--wedding, show, graduation, games, etc., I think ten to fifteen minutes is reasonable wait time without a call.

My husband was always early for everything and even when we first started dating, it wasn't unusual for him to arrive 1/2 hr early! That took me a while to adjust to. I am pretty much an on time person but half hour early, not so much. Once we were married, we learned to compromise.
 
Irks me immensely. I had to "divorce" a friend once because I realized that apparently I was not important enough to her to ever make an effort to show up for anything on time....or at all sometimes.

Everyone occasionally has a good excuse for being late, but all the time? Nope and noper.
 
I totally am offended by it, if it is for a dinner date they get two invites and if late are never asked again. They prioritize which events they are Ok being late to which means my dinner come low on their personal totem pole so they just don't get asked again.
 
So, how late do you find it to be "unforgivable"? Few minutes? Ten to fifteen? Just curious.

I am always on time when I go to my GP, usually early. I may have a ten-fifteen minute wait, but for a dr, I think that is acceptable. However, once I was five minutes late and the nurse chewed me out. Well, there was a major back-up on the road due to a construction project (these roads have only one lane going either direction) no way getting around it. I didn't say anything because I am never late, thought she was out of line.
 
I hate to wait for people and I hate to keep them waiting like Falcon said once in awhile there might be circumstances out of your control so being late can be overlooked. As hard as we might try, we can't avoid life's little obstacles.
 
If it s for a formal dinner that involves other people fifteen minutes is unforgiveable unless of course there is a true bonafide reason. If I do a formal I give times as 7pm for 7.30 that gives a full 30 minutes overlap, folks can come a bit earlier and if they manage their plans wisely there should be no reason to be there late. If they consider arriving at 7 30 they are always late to table so other folks are kept waiting. 15 miniutes is enough to ruin some dishes, so 7 for 7.30 I expect folks to start arriving about 6 45 although they don't need to , but no later than no later than 7.15, It is pretty standard.

I will wait at a Dr's office as one never knows what went before with a previous patient, but if I make any other business appointment and the person is not available after about 10 minutes I will leave. My time is as important as theirs, and is I run late I may be letting someone else down which I don't do.

Car trouble, etc is acceptable but I expect a phone call to inform me these days. Illness is obviously acceptable but again a call is appropriate. I was once deathly ill on a day I was going to a formal dinner, I phoned my hostess first thing and let her know, she suggested I hang on as the problem might rectify itself which was kind but I suggested she did not count on me being there and not to set a place. I did manage to join them for dessert which was OK with her as we had considered that, and I still got to meet the other folks that were invited.
 
I don't deal with people who are habitually late. I consider it disrespect for my time, like their time is more important than mine.
 
Grumpy Ol' Man said:
My wife gets upset because I always have to be early... everywhere we go. Just a habit, but motivated by being agitated by those who are always late. Wife's sister-in-law has gotten better over the years. Used to be we knew she would be a half hour late no matter what the occasion.

I worked for a guy once who would keep appointments waiting way past their time. His problem was his ego. Felt that by keeping someone waiting... and probably making them late for their next appointment... showed his own power.

There is no justification for always arriving late. Once in a decade due to a completely uncontrollable circumstance... maybe. If you have trouble getting to places on time, start a half hour earlier!!!!!
Click to expand...

"Lateness" is used as a tool by some to show their and/or test another's patience-how bad do they want this. It's still ignorant. Some show up late to draw attention and others simply don't care-to them it's just about showing up.

Related. As to not go around like a chicken without it's head I take time doing many things. Not to be late I leave early for many a place or appointment because I drive safely by the book, not pushing it. Some get mad at me when I don't take every short cut, try to beat every single yellow light etc. I don't drive slower than the limit but I take my time-what's the rush. Some have refused rides with me because I wanted to leave 5-10 minutes earlier than they would have. Really, 5-10 minutes for what?
 
I think it's totally thoughtless, rude and selfish, it means they consider their time more important than yours

Ray was right and Debra deserved to be left standing, a partner like that would drive me to distraction !
 
I think many people who are late don't really want to be where they are going. I saw it in the work place especially. People who are habitually late or absent really don't want to be there. It could be temporary or they knew they wouldn't last. I know people who feel obligated to go family functions but don't want to be there so they make 'an appearance' or show up in body but not in mind.
 
WhatInThe said:
I think many people who are late don't really want to be where they are going. I saw it in the work place especially. People who are habitually late or absent really don't want to be there. It could be temporary or they knew they wouldn't last. I know people who feel obligated to go family functions but don't want to be there so they make 'an appearance' or show up in body but not in mind.
Click to expand...

If they don't want to be where they are going they should decline the invitation. As far as work goes they need to either quit or buck up IMO.
 
BlunderWoman said:
If they don't want to be where they are going they should decline the invitation. As far as work goes they need to either quit or buck up IMO.
Click to expand...

Unfortunately some who make 'an appearance' are worried about exactly that-appearances which also doesn't speak well for them.
 
How much does it irk me? One a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the highest, a full 10.

I had a friend, who when she lived in my state kept me waiting 15 or 20 minutes on 3 occasions. The last time, I told her that in the future, I wouldn't wait and I didn't the next time she was late. It never happened again after that.
 
My sister has been late all her life, literally, especially to dinners and family gatherings, movies, etc. Always with an excuse. She sometimes apologizes
for the traffic (BS) then does it again and again. She become irate if anyone questioned her lateness or was upset with her. I really think she enjoys
this and thinks she is entitled to be late. She likes to be late on her birthday because then no one can get angry with her without upsetting the celebration.
Or she acts like it is no big deal and no one should care. Lateness might a power issue. The constant late-comer exerts his her power to make others wait.

She is in her 60's. I no longer want to get together at all If I do, then I myself will be late.
 
Aurora ~ I, too, have an older sister who was always late for everything. There was no excuse for it except she was totally self-centered. She never had an excuse or said she was sorry. I think people like her are just rude.
 
I am chronically early and have been ever since I can remember and I am irritated by someone consistently showing up 15 to 20 min late for an appointment, etc. Chronic lateness is a passive-aggressive behavior that in many is so deeply ingrained they are barely aware of it if at all. I generally do not put up with that behavior for long
 

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