Planning retirement experiences

Runyun

New member
Well, I have the financials part planned for a retirement. BUT, I have become one of those empty nestors that is now on his own. Used to be it was going to be two of us, but now she is gone. Our thoughts were for two and now I am on my own to figure out the where, the when, the how, move or no move, stay in the home and go rogue, ....just alot of questions that I have to plan on my own and being alone. Not a groupie nor a condo character, but an outdoorsy type of person. So, I look at what I like to do at this point in my life, and figure I have one more move to make and do not want to flip flop when I make a decision. So, much easier when there was two because there was always a compromise and it was okay, but , now I have to make all the decisions and live with...:rolleyes:. So, I am feeling out the next moves.

Dump everything or hang on to some lifeline of stability and go cheap. But, there is always that "Where" question? Just doing a data dump to get some viewpoints and ideas from people with similar sitauations....
 

debbie in seattle

Well-known member
Location
Seattle
My husband has terminal cancer and by the summer, I too, will be alone, on my own. I have come to the decision to give myself a year, minimum, to make all those decisions you have also. Perhaps it will be two years. I’ve realized it is too much to try and make all of the decisions right now.
Good luck, it sure isn’t easy.
 

Runyun

New member
Original Poster
She passed 7 years ago and I just figured I would keep on my current glide path and keep planning and preparing. As time goes on I wonder how I should think. Should I think about doing things I like now or plan to make changes in my activities or living conditions.

If I think the way I am active now I would simply keep working at some level; be active outdoors like I am now; take care of the yard; etc. etc. etc. But that would seem like I am just doing what I do until the end. All of which seems okay, as I am healthy and able.

For instance, I have a friend 60 yrs old who is hell bent on quiting her job and taking low level work and just existing in retirement. I am of the opinion that I want to be productive as long as I am able at a certain level. Then I will know when the time comes. I am not wanting to have a catastrophic event dictate my retirement.

One friend is 73 and still commutes to work from another state on a weekly basis. Certainly he can retire but he likes his work. I think I am trying to identify replacement activities for work that will keep me vibrant into the retirement years. That I have not found just yet. So, I am trying to get some ideas and learn from others......
 

Lon

Well-known member
Well, I have the financials part planned for a retirement. BUT, I have become one of those empty nestors that is now on his own. Used to be it was going to be two of us, but now she is gone. Our thoughts were for two and now I am on my own to figure out the where, the when, the how, move or no move, stay in the home and go rogue, ....just alot of questions that I have to plan on my own and being alone. Not a groupie nor a condo character, but an outdoorsy type of person. So, I look at what I like to do at this point in my life, and figure I have one more move to make and do not want to flip flop when I make a decision. So, much easier when there was two because there was always a compromise and it was okay, but , now I have to make all the decisions and live with...:rolleyes:. So, I am feeling out the next moves.

Dump everything or hang on to some lifeline of stability and go cheap. But, there is always that "Where" question? Just doing a data dump to get some viewpoints and ideas from people with similar sitauations....
QUESTION------How old are you Runyun? Did you date or meet any ladies after your wife passed? Would you marry again? Do you have children? How did you earn a living? Knowing a little more about you can help us give you some ideas.
 

Manatee

Well-known member
Location
Florida
You didn't state your age, but remember, never again will you be as young as you are right now. I recommend doing the things that you enjoy while you can, soon enough you may have to limit them. If in the meantime should you happen to find a soulmate, you can look out for each other.
 

Runyun

New member
Original Poster
50's; not encumbered with any bills; all things paid off; just me hanging around; do not do anything except work and take care of things; I like MC, outdoor activities; like shooting activities; traveled all my life and do not consider traveling to be a retirement goal, but a method to get from one place to another; I would like to figure out if I move into this same lifestyle going into retirement or something different; often think about staying remote like I am or will I want to be clustered with other similar age. I tend to want to consider living with a wide age range of people with similar ideals like hard work, pay my way and be held accountable for my actions. I would be more at ease in the midwest than in Boston. Stay in house or move and get equity out and enjoy a cheaper house/location and lifestyle. That sort highlights my thoughts as I move closer down the decision tree....
 

Lethe200

Active member
What you want in your 50's/60's may be (and probably will be) quite different than what you will need in your late 70's and through your 80's.

If you are uncertain then take it slow and don't tie yourself - or your money - into something that in 3-5 years turns out to be not what you wanted it to be. Look for maximum flexibility and a moderate amount of change. See how it works out and if small changes will make the situation better, or if perhaps you need to move on to a bigger change.

These are your active senior years. Take advantage of them; they won't last forever. All kinds of new opportunities (and friends) can open up for you if you have the flexibility to look around and try pushing your comfort zone a bit.

Best of luck to you going forward.
 

Runyun

New member
Original Poster
Update one year later

What you want in your 50's/60's may be (and probably will be) quite different than what you will need in your late 70's and through your 80's.

If you are uncertain then take it slow and don't tie yourself - or your money - into something that in 3-5 years turns out to be not what you wanted it to be. Look for maximum flexibility and a moderate amount of change. See how it works out and if small changes will make the situation better, or if perhaps you need to move on to a bigger change.

These are your active senior years. Take advantage of them; they won't last forever. All kinds of new opportunities (and friends) can open up for you if you have the flexibility to look around and try pushing your comfort zone a bit.

Best of luck to you going forward.
Well, I have been giving this alot of thought and action since last year. Sort of been dumping items that don't need or have not looked at for years, again. Seems I do this alot! I am doing alot of yard/house work that I can do now so I will not pay someone to do in the future when I cannot physically do those things. This works best iff I stay here, but if I left tomorrow, I would not bother. At least it gives me that option. I have been looking at where I can live with no state taxes that I might enjoy living. Not a fan of being next to the seaside. But prefer cool, clear air. I like the cold but do not like being cold. Cool is much better for breathing fresh air. I think I would like to have a place to spread out a bit and come and go out and about and always have a place to stay. But that is about all I can figure at this point. Still just me in the thought process....
 

Marie5656

I'm awake. Best I can hope for.
Location
Rochester, NY
I am newly alone. We had always planned to do something once he retired last year. Mainly day trips or weekends. But it never happened.
Once I am more settled into my new life I do plan to do with bit of travel. One trip my husband wanted to go is go to Gettysburg, due to his interest in Civil War. It is only about a 6 hour drive. So I plan to go.
 

Runyun

New member
Original Poster
Gettysburg in the Fall time

I am newly alone. We had always planned to do something once he retired last year. Mainly day trips or weekends. But it never happened.
Once I am more settled into my new life I do plan to do with bit of travel. One trip my husband wanted to go is go to Gettysburg, due to his interest in Civil War. It is only about a 6 hour drive. So I plan to go.
Recommend you go in the Fall when the trees are changing and you can take the trip around the park in the old train. They have heaters in the cars and you can see the sites. It meanders thru the local farms on the fringe. It was cold when I went and rainy and the leaves were on the tracks and it made it slippery so the train had to back up a few times to make the grade. The funniest thing I saw was a dead pig on its back with it feet in the air because of the cold weather. It was not ready for quick blast of cold air. Several years ago they took down the tower because it took away from the battlefield ambiance.
 

Leann

Active member
What you want in your 50's/60's may be (and probably will be) quite different than what you will need in your late 70's and through your 80's.
These are your active senior years. Take advantage of them; they won't last forever. All kinds of new opportunities (and friends) can open up for you if you have the flexibility to look around and try pushing your comfort zone a bit.
I'm learning this every day. Good advice.
 

BWall

New member
My aunt is currently in this situation after losing my uncle recently. She decided the best approach to making the decision of "what to do with the rest of my life?" was to change the question. She changed it to "what do I want to do for the next year?" That was a much easier decision to make. It is a short-term decision.

Her answer was "move to Seattle for a year and then decide what to do the next year." If she likes it, she may stay another year. Or, she may move on to another area she is curious about.

The point is making the decision more of a temporary one instead of a giant, all-encompassing one is much easier. She's taking is "one year at a time."

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
 

Lc jones

Well-known member
Location
Florida
I am trying to gain the fortitude to go overseas next year. I absolutely hate airline travel due to the Sardine effect in the cabin causing health problems for me. I know that if I don’t do this soon in the future I probably won’t be able to do it due to health. So wish me good luck I am thinking about signing up for some airline tickets to go to England and to France.
 

retiredtraveler

Well-known member
I am trying to gain the fortitude to go overseas next year. I absolutely hate airline travel due to the Sardine effect in the cabin causing health problems for me...... So wish me good luck I am thinking about signing up for some airline tickets to go to England and to France.
Two words about airline travel overseas. Business Class. Or, First Class.
 

Leann

Active member
Two words about airline travel overseas. Business Class. Or, First Class.
Having traveled hundreds of thousands of miles by air (mostly for work), I completely agree with retiredtraveler's advice. I'm not a person of great financial wealth so I have to save for a while for business class or first class tickets but it makes all of the difference in comfort.

Lc jones, go see the world, follow your heart. The memories will last a lifetime.
 

Patio Life

Well-known member
I am trying to gain the fortitude to go overseas next year. I absolutely hate airline travel due to the Sardine effect in the cabin causing health problems for me. I know that if I don’t do this soon in the future I probably won’t be able to do it due to health. So wish me good luck I am thinking about signing up for some airline tickets to go to England and to France.
Fly into France, you can get anywhere from there by train. The trains are comfortable and nice. Make memories. And contrary to what some people say, the French are very gracious and kind.
 

Liberty

Well-known member
Location
Texas
She passed 7 years ago and I just figured I would keep on my current glide path and keep planning and preparing. As time goes on I wonder how I should think. Should I think about doing things I like now or plan to make changes in my activities or living conditions.

If I think the way I am active now I would simply keep working at some level; be active outdoors like I am now; take care of the yard; etc. etc. etc. But that would seem like I am just doing what I do until the end. All of which seems okay, as I am healthy and able.

For instance, I have a friend 60 yrs old who is hell bent on quiting her job and taking low level work and just existing in retirement. I am of the opinion that I want to be productive as long as I am able at a certain level. Then I will know when the time comes. I am not wanting to have a catastrophic event dictate my retirement.

One friend is 73 and still commutes to work from another state on a weekly basis. Certainly he can retire but he likes his work. I think I am trying to identify replacement activities for work that will keep me vibrant into the retirement years. That I have not found just yet. So, I am trying to get some ideas and learn from others......
Hey, Runyun...sometimes you just have to "be there to know" - can't decide from afar. I was a driven business owner, but knew inside I needed to "kick back" and just listen and live life instead of rushing from one place or activity to another. Sometimes in nature, if you love the outdoors, you realize you need to sit under a tree and "listen" in order to learn. Life can be like that too, you know. Enjoy!
 

old medic

New member
Location
Western NC
Runyun, as outgoing outdoor folks that loves travel and camping, We are setting up to do campground hosting when I retire in a few years. Free camping, usually minimum 1 month, some places there's an opportunity to make some extras money to boot.
 

Runyun

New member
Original Poster
How much of what you do now as a hobby do you actively participate in when you are retired? i.e., I like riding a motorcycle for the last 35 years and still enjoy it. So, I will ride as long as I can. On the other hand I can't play a lick of golf and have tried, so I will not take it up since I find no enjoyment in it. Plus, the body does not twist very well at the coming age. I do weight training and isometrics and walk alot and chainsaw and dig and cut trees and these things keep me in great shape so I envision some level of participation in active life, but some things not so well coordinated. Just curious about what sticks when you retire....
 

Liberty

Well-known member
Location
Texas
How much of what you do now as a hobby do you actively participate in when you are retired? i.e., I like riding a motorcycle for the last 35 years and still enjoy it. So, I will ride as long as I can. On the other hand I can't play a lick of golf and have tried, so I will not take it up since I find no enjoyment in it. Plus, the body does not twist very well at the coming age. I do weight training and isometrics and walk alot and chainsaw and dig and cut trees and these things keep me in great shape so I envision some level of participation in active life, but some things not so well coordinated. Just curious about what sticks when you retire....
Runyun, for us its been the "around the house and property" activities, like cutting trees, burning brush, gardening, official back deck sitting, pool, etc. We do have an extensive library and a classic car and enjoy driving that occasionally, cooking and target practice off the back deck, too. Cooking has always been my fav hobby! Life is good, you know!
 

Pecos

Well-known member
Location
South Carolina
How much of what you do now as a hobby do you actively participate in when you are retired? i.e., I like riding a motorcycle for the last 35 years and still enjoy it. So, I will ride as long as I can. On the other hand I can't play a lick of golf and have tried, so I will not take it up since I find no enjoyment in it. Plus, the body does not twist very well at the coming age. I do weight training and isometrics and walk alot and chainsaw and dig and cut trees and these things keep me in great shape so I envision some level of participation in active life, but some things not so well coordinated. Just curious about what sticks when you retire....
The question of what do we do next is a tough one to answer. I have concluded that it is something of a moving target as you age and deal with the issues that life tosses your way. My wife and I did not initially understand that there is more than one stage to retirement. For starters, there is early retirement when you are still fairly robust, and older retirement when health issues and other things change the equations in ways we never imagined. Who knew what havoc health issues would bring, or that the neighborhood we moved into 25 years ago would change so much that we feel out of place, or that our interests would change so much. So life is a moving target.

Hobbies and the other things you enjoy now will change a great deal as you progress through your 50's into your 80's. I had to give up riding my two wheeler in my mid 70's and give my shotgun and bigger bore rifles to my son and grandson because of health/eyesight issues a couple of years ago. My wife gave up strength training and substituted line dancing. Old friends moved away or departed the planet and they are a struggle to replace, family members encounter difficulties that require our help. I was able to work part time at my company for several years before completely retiring. That was the best of both worlds and I recommend it if that is an option. I gave up on the Red Cross when I ran out of patience with FEMA (and they sent me a bill for being a volunteer). My exploration into the art of water color painting was largely a failure, but I learned how difficult it was and that my aptitude just didn't lean that way. One of the things that I love these days is going to Broadway Shows. I once looked down my nose at that kind of thing.

So enjoy what you are enjoying now, but think a bit about what unexpected directions your life may take you. You will know when you need to change things. Do some exploring. Visit a couple of over 55 communities. If you have the financial side of things nailed down, you are ahead of the game.
 

Runyun

New member
Original Poster
The one thing that has been of concern to me is that my sister, brother and wife have all passed and we were all the same age within a few years. We were always together and that is sort of riding on my mind. I have been in this house for 21 years and I still work and find it great for the fresh air, outdoor activities and quiet, but yeah, it has changed a bit. It is paid off and that is the attraction at this point while I figure out what to do and not being pressed to always choose what to pay at the end of the month. But the fact that we hung together as a family and now they are all gone is something that bothers me more than I thought it would. Been thinking of picking up and leaving; packing what I can; dump the rest and starting over somewhere else with something smaller belongings. Not sure if I want to buy again or just rent along the way without feeling ties to one house again. Some thoughts come to mind as such...
 

Liberty

Well-known member
Location
Texas
The one thing that has been of concern to me is that my sister, brother and wife have all passed and we were all the same age within a few years. We were always together and that is sort of riding on my mind. I have been in this house for 21 years and I still work and find it great for the fresh air, outdoor activities and quiet, but yeah, it has changed a bit. It is paid off and that is the attraction at this point while I figure out what to do and not being pressed to always choose what to pay at the end of the month. But the fact that we hung together as a family and now they are all gone is something that bothers me more than I thought it would. Been thinking of picking up and leaving; packing what I can; dump the rest and starting over somewhere else with something smaller belongings. Not sure if I want to buy again or just rent along the way without feeling ties to one house again. Some thoughts come to mind as such...
Yes, its a hard decision to make. Its usually best to stay a while where you are used to living, after loved ones have passed. Perhaps take trips to where you think you might want to live if you actually will have a "destination". We looked at moving and decided to stay. Very glad we did that as others we've known, moved from where they were comfortable with for years and then tried to move back after disliking their new surroundings.

On the other hand, sometimes a new place offers up a new "fresh start" in life.

Everyone is different, so like the old saying goes "its a wise man that knows his own self".
Take it easy. Enjoy. That's my advice to you.
 


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