Polyamory

Serenity4321

Member
Location
Florida
I think it's ok to discuss this?? If not I have no problem having a manager delete the thread.
This came up a few weeks ago ..a friend of mine told me her daughter is involved with the polyamory crowd. I didn't know what that meant and was shocked and surprised once I researched the practice. I do not know anyone who is polyamorous but it seems some kids in their 20, 30, 40s think it is a good idea and seem to cite the divorce rate as one solution to the problems in marriage. Apparently single, engaged, married people are all involved.
I keep seeing the jealousy factor and resultant hurt as the main problems but then if it is by mutual consent are those risks 'worth it' to some?

The concept is really strange to me but as I kept thinking about it, I started to wonder if it is possible there could be benefits??? Personally I would never be involved but maybe that is a result of the norms of my generation. I keep thinking since it is mutual consent, does it have advantages?
Obviously, anyone who is very religious will see it as totally wrong.
LOL I have kiddingly said polygamy sounds good..If I had several husbands, depending on my mood, I could spend time with whichever 'suited my fancy' at the time 😃
Would love to hear opinions, thoughts ideas...

In case you are not familiar with this ...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyamory
Polyamory (from Greek πολύ poly, "many", and Latin amor, "love") is the practice of, or desire for, intimate relationships with more than one partner, with the informed consent of all partners involved.[
 

win231

Well-known Member
Location
CA
IMO, it's a way to legitimize something bad to make it sound acceptable.
Reminds me of a co-worker who said, "The first thing I do when I get home from work is suck down a 6 pack of suds."
I asked him, "Isn't 6 cans of beer excessive?"
"Oh, no," he said. "Beer's good for you."
 

officerripley

Senior Member
Location
Porlock, Calif
Not a new practice; I suppose it might be a different thing (but at least related, in my opinion) but I remember as a kid (a lonnnng time ago, sigh) hearing about "swingers clubs", a spouse-swapping get-together for a weekend or whatever. And apparently it wasn't all unfounded rumors: the last woman my dad was married to told me that her sister & brother-in-law were "swingers."
 

Chris P Bacon

Member
Location
Columbus Ohio
I don’t think that it’s anything to be worried about. Sometimes in marriages one of the partners (sometimes both) are polyamorous without the other spouses knowledge. That usually doesn’t go over very well when revealed or found out about, I’d think. If the only choices are monogamy or abstinence, then polyamory would seem like an option that may well catch on one day. I think that parenting might be difficult in such a situation but it’s nice to have options, especially for those beyond or not having the capability to parent children. People like choices. How many channels does your TV pull in? Do you only eat one type of food? If you don’t want to be polyamorous I think that you’ll have the option not to be but why deny others the freedom?
 

officerripley

Senior Member
Location
Porlock, Calif
I don’t think that it’s anything to be worried about. Sometimes in marriages one of the partners (sometimes both) are polyamorous without the other spouses knowledge. That usually doesn’t go over very well when revealed or found out about, I’d think. If the only choices are monogamy or abstinence, then polyamory would seem like an option that may well catch on one day. I think that parenting might be difficult in such a situation but it’s nice to have options, especially for those beyond or not having the capability to parent children. People like choices. How many channels does your TV pull in? Do you only eat one type of food? If you don’t want to be polyamorous I think that you’ll have the option not to be but why deny others the freedom?
Parenting might not always be difficult. Somebody found in the basement of a museum or someplace in France the old journal of a Catholic priest who wrote of his time with French navy in the Caribbean back in the 1500s, I think. The priest was talking to the chief of a hunter/gatherer, foraging tribe, a tribe who had a relaxed, fluid approach to marriage; the priest told the chief that the tribe's approach to marriage was heinous and sinful. Chief says, "Oh, yeah? What's sinful about it?" Priest: Why, the way you practice marriage, the men of your tribe don't even know which of the tribe's children are yours! So therefore you don't even know which children to love!" Chief: So what? All of us adults in this tribe love all the children equally. Priest: No no no, you only need to love the children you know are yours! Chief: Sorry, but seems like our way is better since all our kids are loved by everybody; thanks but no thanks.
 

Chris P Bacon

Member
Location
Columbus Ohio
Parenting might not always be difficult. Somebody found in the basement of a museum or someplace in France the old journal of a Catholic priest who wrote of his time with French navy in the Caribbean back in the 1500s, I think. The priest was talking to the chief of a hunter/gatherer, foraging tribe, a tribe who had a relaxed, fluid approach to marriage; the priest told the chief that the tribe's approach to marriage was heinous and sinful. Chief says, "Oh, yeah? What's sinful about it?" Priest: Why, the way you practice marriage, the men of your tribe don't even know which of the tribe's children are yours! So therefore you don't even know which children to love!" Chief: So what? All of us adults in this tribe love all the children equally. Priest: No no no, you only need to love the children you know are yours! Chief: Sorry, but seems like our way is better since all our kids are loved by everybody; thanks but no thanks.
That’s a wonderful way of looking at that! Thanks for sharing!
 
I have a stupid question but I've always been curious....

Do we know of one single solitary couple that's managed to stay faithful to their spouse the entire marriage or is this some ridiculous myth.

Seems to me the "polyamory" is the new normal relationship these days. Maybe that's why people put "it's complicated" on their marital status. LOL
 

Pecos

Well-known Member
Location
South Carolina
I have a stupid question but I've always been curious....

Do we know of one single solitary couple that's managed to stay faithful to their spouse the entire marriage or is this some ridiculous myth.

Seems to me the "polyamory" is the new normal relationship these days. Maybe that's why people put "it's complicated" on their marital status. LOL
I have, and it was easy for me. Probably because I was smitten so hard that I never recovered.
 

JonDouglas

Senior Member
Location
New England
I have a stupid question but I've always been curious....

Do we know of one single solitary couple that's managed to stay faithful to their spouse the entire marriage or is this some ridiculous myth.

Seems to me the "polyamory" is the new normal relationship these days. Maybe that's why people put "it's complicated" on their marital status. LOL
Yes. It's not that uncommon.
 

Patch

Senior Member
I have a stupid question but I've always been curious....

Do we know of one single solitary couple that's managed to stay faithful to their spouse the entire marriage or is this some ridiculous myth.
At almost 75 years old and married to a beautiful lady for 55 years... she is the ONLY person I've ever been intimate with. Working on the road many years.... the last 15 years before retirement, 2000 nights in hotels... I will admit there were "thoughts". Those thoughts seemed to always return to the vows I had made, the family whose lives my straying would adversely affect, and witnessing the lives of so many people I knew or worked with that I did not want to mirror. I do believe we both came from rural, 'old school' roots. We've enjoyed a trust that has helped us weather storms through these 55 years that would have been so difficult had we not been totally committed to each other and our family.

There are some of us still out there. I do believe, we are a vanishing breed.....
 
polyamory- I had to look it up, it's a new word for a really old practice. Having multiple partners before marriage is not illegal, nor is it unknown. I do believe there may be some health issues, if one is not careful-pregnancy being one of them. And you do have to select your friends well. If your morals are a deterrent to the practice, of course you aren't required to perform. And the practice is not for committed, or married relationships. The reasons are obvious. I don't know, it may be a better way for some to find a more compatible mate?
 


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