Raising 2 Grandsons

digifoss

digifoss

Member
Location
New Mexico
Our oldest son was divorced last year and he got sole custody of his two small sons, age 2 and 6. They had to move in with us. My son is a good dad and he does his share of everything around the house and then some, and spends most of his off time with his boys. The oldest boy started 1st grade this week and he is not doing well. Because the schools are still closed here in New Mexico, he is having to do remote classroom over the internet like a lot of other places.

Because my son is at work weekdays, except Mondays, he is only here one day a week to help him with his school. I still work too so my wife is having to tackle that almost by herself, and my son or I help out with any homework in the evening. The grandson has definitely got a problem paying attention. He hasn't been diagnosed with adhd but we can tell. We don't want to medicate him. We are looking for different methods of helping him by working with him. The wife and I are in our 60's and while this is a labor of love, it isn't easy.
 

Unless you are a professional, you are not qualified to diagnose adhd, a condition that has been over diagnosed as an easy answer to a problem. Your grandson has been traumatized by the loss of his mother, and you should expect behavioral reactions.

There must be some way to contact the teacher of his class or the principal of the school. Ask for help.
 
digifoss said:
Our oldest son was divorced last year and he got sole custody of his two small sons, age 2 and 6. They had to move in with us. My son is a good dad and he does his share of everything around the house and then some, and spends most of his off time with his boys. The oldest boy started 1st grade this week and he is not doing well. Because the schools are still closed here in New Mexico, he is having to do remote classroom over the internet like a lot of other places. Because my son is at work weekdays, except Mondays, he is only here one day a week to help him with his school. I still work too so my wife is having to tackle that almost by herself, and my son or I help out with any homework in the evening. The grandson has definitely got a problem paying attention. He hasn't been diagnosed with adhd but we can tell. We don't want to medicate him. We are looking for different methods of helping him by working with him. The wife and I are in our 60's and while this is a labor of love, it isn't easy.
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Just want to add how happy I am to know your son and his two young children had a good stable home to go to. All too often such is not the case.
 

Families often have to rely on each other.

There might be a tutor that could come in once a week; ask the school.

Some children don't always mature as fast as others. He may need help dealing with the divorce, or may just need more time to settle down.

I wish all the best for your family during this rough time.
 
Did he go to pre-school or kindergarten before he started 1st grade? I have volunteered in elementary schools and seen how kids who had no previous schooling don't do well in first grade. There's no harm in holding him back a year. Better to do it now than when he's older.

My son has a June birthday and I was advised by his pre-school teacher teacher to hold him back a year because he was not socially ready to start kindergarten. I was glad I held him back. He did so well all through school and nobody even knew he was a few months older than the other kids.

I suggest your son talk to the school about his son's situation. I'm sure they will have some good advice. It's better that your grandson start school when he is ready. I'm sure the divorce and moving to your home threw him off course. Don't assume he has ADHD.
 
I have no advice ..just want to wish you good luck with your grandson and his schooling , and welcome you to the forum... :)

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