Red Skelton's Recipe For The Perfect Marriage

[Casper]

1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a
[FONT=&quot] little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas .[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

3. I take my wife everywhere,
but she keeps finding her way back.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

6. She has an electric blender, electric
toaster and electric bread maker.
She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place
to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well
because there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late
for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!".[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
first name was 'Always' .[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

12.. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her..[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

13. The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!".[/FONT]

 

[Jillaroo]

Good one casper :lofl::lofl:

 

[Pappy]

Red was the best. I loved his humor and the characters he portrayed.

 

[TICA]

He was great and I didn't like most of the comedians of his day. Loved the character he did of Clem something or another.

 

[Pappy]

One of my favorites....

 

[Just Jeff]

But who is perfect?

1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a
[FONT=&quot] little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas .

3. I take my wife everywhere,
but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric
toaster and electric bread maker.
She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place
to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well
because there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."

8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late
for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!".

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
first name was 'Always' .

12.. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her..

13. The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!".[/FONT]

"Perfect" in English is very awkward to be in life, and by the usual perception of the word impossible perhaps.
A day can be a perfect day though, right ?
A baby or three year old can be 'perfect' at times also, right ?
A husband or wife can be 'perfect' too, sometimes/ some days, right ?
Sort of "it's all good" , or "good as can be", even with flaws and all.

 

[Ruthanne]

"Perfect" in English is very awkward to be in life, and by the usual perception of the word impossible perhaps.
A day can be a perfect day though, right ?
A baby or three year old can be 'perfect' at times also, right ?
A husband or wife can be 'perfect' too, sometimes/ some days, right ?
Sort of "it's all good" , or "good as can be", even with flaws and all.

I see what you mean but realistically no one is perfect in the perfect sense of the meaning and some men think they are looking for that.

 

[Aunt Bea]

"All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner." - Red Skelton