Reflecting on a southern boy's life

stephenPE

stephenPE

Member
I grew up in a small north Fla town. Close to the Univ of Fla. Which became a large part of my life. I was born in Polk County Fla. Lakeland. My dad's family was from down there. My grandparents owned a small citrus grove of mostly pink grapefruit. The best in the world. My life was going to school in a large three story building in our town that was also a high school until 1950. I entered first grade in 1961. I loved school so much I never left it except for a year to work and save money for college.

My elem. school was 1st to 6th and then we had to travel by bus to the next town for HS. And it was grades 7-12. A seventh grade boy around those Jr and Sr girls was cruelty at it best. I was there for the social part, playing sports and sometimes paying attention in class. I loved to read so that propelled me to college in 1974.
 

Stephen, I know you've been with us a few months now.. so I won't extend another welcome... however ..I just wanted to say, I first realised just how massive the USA was.. when I mentioned to an American who lived in Parkland Florida. that I had a friend who lived in Lakeland FL.. and the parkland person had never heard of lakeland... :D
 
Im more or less moving toward diary entrees after I establish my background. I had a wonderful childhood and loved school. My mom's mother had seven husbands so her childhood was a shtt show. She struggled with depression and the knowledge of being gay. Her drinking got so bad my father divorced her when about 1968. He took all three of us boys in the divorce but we kept up with mom. She went through some relationships (good and bad) before she found Donna and the lived together at least ten years before the both passed. Dad remarried Miss Johnston who also had three boys. We all had gone to school together. She was miserable and didnt like her stepsons.

Her and dad bought a bar and marina in Nokomis Fla on the intracoastal water way. My youngest brother and I moved us all down there. Well most of us. I worked in dads bar at night (I was 18 and they had just lowered the drinking age. Got a job on a pipeline crew laying pipe for new housing. Making big money 4.50 an hour. I banked 3000 in about 8 months. Believe it or not that money paid my college tuition for four years from 74 to 78. I was with my wife to be all through college and we were married in June 17th 1978, the day after I graduated from college. She graduated the year before because her parents paid her way.
 
We were married for 25 yrs exactly and had two children Stephanie the lawyer and now stay at home mom and Spencer the stand up comic and Lowes employee. We divorced 21 yrs ago and I married Sandy. We had Kevin and Presley. 20 and 17 now. We are now divorced and Kevin lives with me and Presley goes back and forth.

My career was teaching. So I never left school. 4 yrs of under grad and 2 yrs of grad school Then forty years of teaching. GREATEST JOB EVER. I retired in 2018. Sandy left about 5 yrs ago so I bought her a house. We are still close. I am still close to my first wife. They both helped me when I had prostate surgery. I figure they are the mother of my children so they are important. Very important.


So after divorcing sandy things were going good in retirement. I found Katrina and we hit it off. Had known each other since high school. We married and things were nice. But she didn't like my relationship with Sandy and our kids. She finally said Im going home. So I moved her back. Then I had prostate surgery and everything went to hell. But Katrina did help me like my other two ex wives did. So now I can began my daily diary so stay tuned. .........
 
Last edited:
I live in a tiny town in north central Fla. I was the vice mayor up until 2 months ago. Im still on the city council. I have an old shotgun house built in 1930. Sandy had us have it all redone on the inside so its nice. A school friend of mine was a contractor and did it. Then dropped dead of a heart attack soon after. I've lived here now for 17 yrs. I taught in the local school for 13 while also teaching in my other school. I went back and forth every other day usually. My other school was Hampton Elem. I taught there from 1985 until 2018. It was the greatest job ever. Now all I have are memories and lots of former students on FB to talk to at times.
 
Maybe this doesnt belong here but I also tell stories. I posted this on FB today. It explains a lot about me.

Kitchens
I remember two places I always felt loved and safe. One from my very first memories as a boy and then later after I became a man.My grandparents lived in a small town just south of Lakeland Fla called Medulla. It had a very old school my dad attended for elementary school, a RR running through it and a swamp and orange groves.

My grandparents had an old mining house right on the edge of a swamp where grandpa planted his grove. The most wonderful citrus I never get anymore.
The front room as you come in the back of the house was a big square kitchen with at least a twelve foot ceiling. I remember it was yellow with two windows facing north and west.

Grandma spent much of the day there. When we visited I never could get there before her in the morning. Always ready to make my favorite breakfast it seemed. Grandpa would sit at a small side table reading the Lakeland Ledger or Tampa Tribune where he had a small reading light.
I always headed to the fridge when we rolled in at night from our ride from Archer. She had a jar of maraschino cherries I swear she kept just for me.

I have a picture of my dad and youngest brother sitting in there reading the paper. Acrees always read newspapers,. Both are gone now along with the real newspapers we used to read. Grandma’s kitchen was my safe place. Where I saw her work for her family to have wonderful homemade rolls, pancakes and bacon, old molasses cookies and ambrosia from their citrus grove.

I can still see the phone on the wall with the old green children’s high chair under it. Just a seat at the top of two little steps. No safety to it. I kept it for many years. I keep her kitchen in my heart and memories now.
My other kitchen came along when I graduated from HS. Her name was Grann Grann and she was close to the battles in WW2. A nurse and extraordinary woman. She basically adopted me when her youngest daughgter brought me home to become part of the family for three decades. Emily was the mother I dreamed about.

Her kitchen was bigger than grandmas. But had much of the same thing. A small metal grease catcher to season her amazing vegetables. In the stainless steel sink I washed many dishes. And a long old table with sweet and low along with instant coffee in the middle. I cannot tell you the color of the kitchen but it was warm and always waiting for me to grab a chunk of her incredible pound cake. Seems like there was one always sitting there, much like the maraschino cherries grandma had.

I've never tasted a cake that good anywhere. Always made from scratch. She made mustard greens I could eat everyday. They were so perfect and I still tell people about her liver and onions and pies. But more important was her love for all of us. She was so positive and caring and it was unconditional for me. She bought me my first suit jacket and pants from the old Penneys downtown Gville. She did so much for me I am tearing up as I type this.

I have some apologizing to do in heaven one day but seeing her again will be a real highlight. Kitchens may mean different things at times but I had two that were run by two amazing women born long ago and touched my life in ways I can never repay.
 
Today I am sitting mostly. I have a friend named Faye. She grew up in the same small town as me. We went from 1st grade to 12th grade together. We recently reconnected on FB so we txt each day good morning and goodnights and a lot in between. She lived by the cemetery with her parents and 5 brothers and sisters. She says very poor. Like me she reads quite a bit and lives alone (no mate). She has some physical pains and dietary impairments but does well. I love her outlook on life. We don't talk on the phone by her choice.

We are in drought conditions where I live and the heat has been nasty for a few weeks now. Hard to do things outside. I do wkout a few days a week in my garage. I do like this place. Seems like plenty of decent people. It is odd. My ex #1 told me recently to keep a diary of my days as it helps to write things down. And each day write how you feel. Well, I'm feeling frustrated at the length of time my recovery is taking from prostate surgery. I had a really good day recently. Btw I say prayers every night before I go to sleep for my friends and family. Certainly not a Christian but I feel a higher power watches over me.
 
Fathers day was excellent. We went to visit my ex wife's dad WAYYYY out in the woods. He is the grandfather of my two youngest. My ex found him 2 yrs ago after her "father" died. Her aunt finally told her that who she thought was her father was not. Well, that was good as he treated her like shttt till the day he died. Awful man. So her aunt had some ideas and DNA found her dad. Actually, a few miles from my childhood home. He knows many people I know.

He had never been married or had any other kids and actually EMBRACED Her and our children. We spent the day with him. He was in a helicopter in Vietnam. Came home and has had an amazing life. But he loves his new family. Its amazing she found him as he lives 20 minutes down a dirt road. I had a great time talking to him.
 
And today is my oldest child's birthday. Turns forty today. My most accomplished kid. She was actually born on Fathers day and our fifth wedding anniversary. Stephanie graduated from William and Mary Law school along with her husband Nick, He does so well she stays home with her two boys. And now expecting a girl. I was her PE teacher and technology teacher from k-5th grade.......Tech was actually our very new computer lab........1989
 
Labor Day. Used to be a holiday for me. We would teach about three weeks and then this was our first holiday. Being retired the days seem the same. And now that no real newspaper exists here no Sunday paper. It is all online. My birds even seem to be absent now. I usually have lots of Cardinals and hummingbirds but only a stray dove now and then. 90 degrees each day with occasional rain.

But the forecast here in N. Fla is rain soon (tropical things heading this way) and cooler weather. The truth is much of September is like August here. And I saw my first love bug yesterday. Im still fighting incontinence from my prostate surgery which seems like eons ago. It was actually last October. They said it could take a year or even more. I am tired of it. But I keep doing physical therapy and praying.

About 10 weeks ago a person struck my car parked in front of my house about 1am and totaled my Corolla. Had to get a new car. Nissan VErsa. I wanted another Toyota but could not find one in my price range. It took weeks to get some insurance money to fix my fence and damage also to my truck. There is a parking lane in front of my house. The lady said she was dodging a dog. My son came in the room and told me it had been hit. I thought it was thunder.
 
Well, my neighbor is finally doing some yard work. It became a jungle quickly in the Florida heat and rain. We have these invasive trees that pop up all over from a root system from hell. His fence line is full of them and my yard has tiny ones I chop with my shovel at times. I also have a Japanese plum that drops all the fruit that try to come up as trees.

I'm pulling them often. My yard is basically a redbud tree, big pecan tree (that has great pecans) and the Japanese plum. I do have a ligustrum that grew so big it blocks sun from my kitchen window, I am now a plant person. I can grow lots of petunias from seeds but the summer heat kills them. I did have one live through one summer. It was amazing.
 
You had to be there by 7am. This was summer time and no school and you are thirteen. The semi was already parked there waiting to be filled. The tractor and two wagons ready to go. We knew some of the truck drivers. One was a father and son and they would alternate each day for a load back to Georgia. Mr Ed was the grower and paid us at the end of the day. We would ride the wagon to the fields and Ed and his tractor driver would cut the melons we were gonna load. Turn them over so the light side let us know which one to throw.

The fields were always wet from dew. We would always bust one open and eat the heart while it was still cool in the morning. We would load a wagon and some of us would go back to the semi to unload so the packer could start packing the melons. He was Ed’s son. A math teacher by trade and funny. Taught us how to call a quail.

Working in watermelons was fun. I enjoyed it and became spoiled when it came to eating them. I knew what excellence was and was particular for the rest of my life. Ed grew crimson sweets. They were the best as far as i was concerned. One day we loaded a picking of almost 40lb average. That was a workout. We would put over forty thousand pounds on a trailer and sometimes he would get six cents per pound.

Do the math. $2400 was a nice amount of cash in 1970. He always dealt in cash. At times we would load a trailer each day for weeks. We didnt work weekends usually. We would go home for lunch as we lived only a few blocks from that field.

There was no irrigation back then you just hoped the rains would come. And they seem to each year. I knew one grower that would just pick the entire field at a time. To me that was not as good quality as what Ed did. He only cut the ones to be sold that looked ready on each picking.

I knew another grower that was so stingy he could only get young boys to work for him and then paid them less than older boys even though they did the same amount of work. A big brother took care of that one day. He also had a store and would sell them food and drinks that were easily deducted from pay.
 
Turned 70 on the 4th. My ex called and wished me happy birthday. My other ex brought me dessert and presents and our kids were there. My daughter had my hero from childhood give me a video happy birthday on FB, He is Steve Spurrier the great Univ of Fla football coach. Best birthday in awhile. Still struggling with my post surgery (prostate) incontinence even after 14 months. Got better and then regressed. North Fla and we have had 7 days into the upper twenties. Pretty cool for us. I still have a friend struggling with retirement. She only has about 800 a month for retirement from SS. Has a leaking trailer with lousy central unit. Lives on her family 20 acres.

I went to her (and my) credit union and deposited some money for her today. And the then to Pubilx. They had BOGO on things I needed. My daughter is doing virtual school in Fla. and is now full time hoping to graduate in May. I am proud of how she does all this on a small Apple computer. She wants to go to college for broadcast journalism, My son with Aspbergers is struggling to enter the workforce. Applied a few times and is now in neutral. My incontinence has changed my entire life because I do not get out much. I have a routine but its nothing like what I used to do physically. This retirement thing was supposed to be fantastic and one small thing has me slammed.

I am blessed with excellent health and no pains but ..........oh yeah. Gained 30 lbs back from the 45 I lost from surgery. I loved being 190 and now weight 211. IF ain't one things its another. My best friend talks about dying all the time. He is 77 and has severe COPD and struggles to breathe if he moves a lot. I listen. He is angry. Has a WONDERFUL wife. We play wordle and discuss it most days. He wants to garden again (has for forty years) but he feels he cannot do it physically. My brother's health seems MUCH better. I am finally doing a short workout again. Gotta stay strong and flexible. sorry to ramble so much.
 
hollydolly said:
Stephen, I know you've been with us a few months now.. so I won't extend another welcome... however ..I just wanted to say, I first realised just how massive the USA was.. when I mentioned to an American who lived in Parkland Florida. that I had a friend who lived in Lakeland FL.. and the parkland person had never heard of lakeland... :D
Click to expand...
I thought I replied. I had never heard of Parkland until that awful school shooting. And now two of my close friends live there.
 
stephenPE said:
I thought I replied. I had never heard of Parkland until that awful school shooting. And now two of my close friends live there.
Click to expand...
you actually did reply to this, I remember you telling me this... (y)...in our country a County is roughly our equivelent of your State, because we're tiny the whole of the UK is only the size of Oregon with 70 million people. There are loads of towns and villages even cities in each county... but none are so far apart that people living in the county haven't head of any of the towns.....and most people know the towns in the countires bordering their own ....so it's very difficult for people who live outside of the USA to imagine the ginormity of the USA
 
hollydolly said:
you actually did reply to this, I remember you telling me this... (y)...in our country a County is roughly our equivelent of your State, because we're tiny the whole of the UK is only the size of Oregon with 70 million people. There are loads of towns and villages even cities in each county... but none are so far apart that people living in the county haven't head of any of the towns.....and most people know the towns in the countires bordering their own ....so it's very difficult for people who live outside of the USA to imagine the ginormity of the USA
Click to expand...
Looking at the map it is easy to. I drove around England and Wales back in the early 80s. I was impressed by the beauty and countryside. The beaches looked sort of gray. I am watching The Crown now. I am learning lots of history I did not know. My first wife loved the Royal stuff and Diana. My daughter from my 2nd marriage and I are watching it now. IT is fascinating. I had a great time in England back then.
 
Well its about time for the new regime to take over and make our country GREAT AGAIN. I will not hold my breath. I spend too much time in discussions with Trump fans. I also see way to much negative things on FB about the election. I call this the Twilight Zone years. It seems so different than all the decades before the 21st century. Or maybe some of it is my age. I know this. Those that governed before now have WAY more respect from me in retrospect . But I have faith in our form of govt. and military. We are mostly a country of decent people that when we know each other get along well.....
 
stephenPE said:
Looking at the map it is easy to. I drove around England and Wales back in the early 80s. I was impressed by the beauty and countryside. The beaches looked sort of gray. I am watching The Crown now. I am learning lots of history I did not know. My first wife loved the Royal stuff and Diana. My daughter from my 2nd marriage and I are watching it now. IT is fascinating. I had a great time in England back then.
Click to expand...
the beaches are not gray ..some of the water is........keep your memories of 1980's England & wales.. the past is a foreign country they do things diferently there...

IOW, sadly it's a very different place now 40 years later than it was back then... however our beaches are still not grey in England

bournemoth-ocean.jpg


beach-trees.jpg


beach-at-low-tide.jpg

I took these pictures myself a few months ago here in Southern England
 
hollydolly said:
..keep your memories of 1980's England & wales.. the past is a foreign country they do things diferently there...

IOW, sadly it's a very different place now 40 years later than it was back then... however our beaches are still not grey in England
Click to expand...
I guess the deal is we all saw change and for the worse. I live in Fla and it is nothing like 40 yrs ago. It has been discovered by retiring boomers and filling up. And politicians are stealing public money to fund private and church schools. The roads are over crowded and insurance and housing costs have gone out of sight. But we have every fast food place and grocery store nearby. When our manufacturing moved across the ocean to cheaper labor it all went to hell. btw I finished watching the Crown last night with my daughter. It was fascinating.
 
Today was a good day. I worked out. Read some old SciFi while I was on my machine. Did weights. Did my PT for incontinence and then connected with someone from my home town. I had a great friend in 1st grade named Nebbie. He moved away and NEVER heard from him again. So I found the FB page for the town I heard he moved to. I left a message on that page asking if anyone knew him. Lo and Behold 3 days later a woman said call my momma in Archer with the phone #. Archer was my home town and I recognized that last name. Tanner.

So I called and this elderly lady answered. She was the mother of all these people I knew in school. All were older than me. This woman was 97 yrs old and sounded lucid and very much alive. She knew the boy I was asking about and said he had died. But we talked about the home town for about half hour. She invited me to visit. STILL lives in the house I remember her family in 60 yrs ago. I love talking to people that have interesting stories. Especially folks from other countries. I learn so much.
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top