Relationship satisfaction

[Ronni]

I just heard a term I’ve never heard before..Relationship Satisfaction. I researched it, because Me, right? And here’s what I found. “Relationship satisfaction is the most researched aspect in the study of couple relationships. Very broadly, it refers to a person's overall evaluation of his or her relationship. This may entail, for example, the degree to which one's needs and desires for love, support, and security or one's expectations are met.”

I further discovered that one of the hallmarks of high relationship satisfaction is the degree to which partners “turn toward” each other. That means essentially that they respond positively to bids for connection….simple things like hey can we empty the dishwasher together or wow look at that sky.

Bids for connection can seem really small and insignificant, but if we don’t find a way to turn toward them the majority of the time the relationship can suffer, according to Dr.John Gottman, American psychologist, professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Washington, who has worked over four decades on divorce prediction and marital stability.

 

[Victor]

This looks like common sense old advice with different words and phrasing added. That's all. Satisfaction is so ambiguous for everyone it differs so much
It is also called validating the other or positive strokes. Okay but what if you are not into the others observations?

 

[Lee]

”
That means essentially that they respond positively to bids for connection….simple things like hey can we empty the dishwasher together or wow look at that sky.

Just my opinion but a good relationship needs togetherness at times and giving each other space at other times.

emptying the dishwasher together.....maybe one loads it and the other empties it. Other wise you would just be in each others way.

 

[Ronni]

Just my opinion but a good relationship needs togetherness at times and giving each other space at other times.

emptying the dishwasher together.....maybe one loads it and the other empties it. Other wise you would just be in each others way.

Yeah, I’m sure the dishwasher thing is just an example.

But it resonates with me because Ron and I unload the dishwasher together …. the way the dishwasher is situated he stands on one side and I on the other so it’s in between the two of us and we can get everything put away all at once. We have a small, but very well designed kitchen.

I agree about needing space and time apart too, but I think sometimes that is taken to an extreme, the same way that always doing everything together can be. And while that balance is different for each relationship, I think it’s important that a couple agree on what it should be, so that one person doesn’t always feel smothered and the other doesn’t always feel abandoned.