Rows at Xmas ' Wonder Why?

toffee

toffee

Senior Member
Location
uk
they say its the worse time for family blow ups- does it make you wonder why that is ' can we put it down to running around buying stuff' trying to please to many people when they visit or stay over , relatives saying I wont invite them over again etc... and of course dont let us forget the MOTHER IN LAW LOL ….. who knows how best the turkey should be cooked :rolleyes: that put the cat amoung the pidgeons with the wife '' makes you wonder it can be lovely just the 2 of you alone -- and dont forget the little darlings who unwrapped their prezzie and it was not what they wished for BIG STROP ….🥃
 

yes I think it's all of the above.

Thank goodness I don't have any problems at Christmas with in-laws now... nor do I run around buying presents and trying to please everyone. Those days are gone!!..just the 2 of us now, plus my daughter who lives overseas... and she's flying in next weekend for a short visit and we'll all go out to dinner, and exchange gifts then..no hassles no problems.. yeah!!
 
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Never had any problems around the holiday get togethers. Everyone gets along. The only thing that annoys me is that one of the younger family members stays on her phone about 90% of the time, completely ignoring helping out when that's called for. This holiday season, she'll be in London, studying at university, so no issues.
 

The higher the expectations for a perfect holiday the lower the lows will be if it doesn't quite hit the mark.
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Have yourself a merry little Christmas!
 
Remember in the Seinfeld show, somebody celebrated a holiday he called "Festivus"? One of the activities of that holiday was the rite of "The Airing of the Grievances".

We used to have these HUGE Christmases with lots and lots of family and friends in attendance. Inevitably, there would be a blow-up, somebody would get her feelings hurt, somebody would have grievances to air, somebody would get drunk and misbehave. I even remember one year that involved my former (thankfully) brother-in-law getting a black eye.

I look back at those Christmases now with a "filter" and long for family to be together. Most of the time I can just manage to conveniently forget about the bad parts and concentrate on the good parts.

What I CAN look back on with totally fond memories were my younger Christmases with my intact family and a few extra friends and relatives. Outside of we kids getting a little strungout on candy and too many presents, it was an idyllic time.
 
For most people I’d say it’s all stress related but I absolutely REFUSE to put myself through any of that any more. Our holidays are now spent doing whatever we like which turns out wonderful.
The tree gets put up, the lights outside shine brightly, we purchase our favourite food and treats and don’t share with anyone ......😂 .

But we make special treats for our friends and family which we send through the mail. 😁🤩

We sing, we dance, we have a blast. 🥳
 
I think people run themselves ragged planning and preparing for Christmas: buying and wrapping presents, dealing with the lines and traffic, cleaning the house, cooking. The media exaggerates the vision of people getting together and being 100% loving, ignoring the usual family dynamics and repressed resentments. Lots of people commit suicide and there's lots of domestic violence and shootings and stabbings. But, considering the enormous amount of people who do get together and manage to stay civil, it's not as bad as it sounds.
 
toffee said:
they say its the worse time for family blow ups- does it make you wonder why that is ' can we put it down to running around buying stuff' trying to please to many people when they visit or stay over , relatives saying I wont invite them over again etc... and of course dont let us forget the MOTHER IN LAW LOL ….. who knows how best the turkey should be cooked :rolleyes: that put the cat amoung the pidgeons with the wife '' makes you wonder it can be lovely just the 2 of you alone -- and dont forget the little darlings who unwrapped their prezzie and it was not what they wished for BIG STROP ….🥃
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Think I understand what you are saying, UK gal. Who was it said the English and the Americans have everything in common but the language? LOL. The way to enjoy the holidays is to "opt out". Learned that years ago, when a wise person told me her secret. Do just what you feel you want to do and have the energy and bucks to efficiently and effectively do it with.

Otherwise its devoid of soul and has only given you holiday "stress filled days" back as your present.
 
PVC said:
I think people run themselves ragged planning and preparing for Christmas: buying and wrapping presents, dealing with the lines and traffic, cleaning the house, cooking. The media exaggerates the vision of people getting together and being 100% loving, ignoring the usual family dynamics and repressed resentments. Lots of people commit suicide and there's lots of domestic violence and shootings and stabbings. But, considering the enormous amount of people who do get together and manage to stay civil, it's not as bad as it sounds.
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I agree . There’s so much pressure on people for Christmas to be this perfectly magical family activity that many work incredibly hard for which never quite matches the message being sent out by commercials and hallmark type movies.


It’s a time when most suicides are committed.
Christmas brings about many memories of family, friends and love they’ve lost. With all the added social pressures, it can be too much for some to bare which is heartbreaking. Others have memories of Uncle Joe drinking too much and walking through the screen door.

There’s a lot of pressure that comes with Christmas. A lot of expectations. A lot of disappointment and a lot of stress.
 
WOW, my Tucson is #3? And Phoenix and Mesa are in the 15 cities. Arizona, like Florida, is a mecca for retired people. I don't know if old age is a factor.
 
Never happened in my lifetime. But then, I never had in-laws, only blood relatives. And it was always so wonderful getting together. But sadly since my grandmother passed away, it's never been the same. She was the glue that kept all of us together. I think there's a person like that in every family. It was Christmas and New Years. Even though I hate fireworks now, back the it was more of gentle expression of the New Year. It has so changed now. Nothing to do with bringing in the New Year, but more like blast everyone else to Hell.
 

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