Secret To A Long Marriage
- Thread starter SeaBreeze
- Start date
Ina
Well-known Member
- Location
- Harris County, NE of Houston, Tx.
I barely remember Henny Youngman.
I don't know Ina, I may just remember him from reruns and references...here's some of his doctor jokes.
- A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.
- My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said, "Cough!"
- The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back." Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!"
- The Doctor says, "You'll live to be 60!" "I AM 60!" "See, what did I tell you?"
- The patient says, "Doctor, it hurts when I do this." "Then don't do that!"
- A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand?" The doctor says, "That's what puzzles me!"
- "Doctor, my leg hurts. What can I do?" The doctor says, "Limp!"
- A man goes to a psychiatrist. "Nobody listens to me!" The doctor says, "Next!"
- A man goes to a psychiatrist. The doctor says, "You're crazy" The man says, "I want a second opinion!" "Okay, you're ugly too!"
- "Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears." "Don't answer!"
- Nurse: "Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office". Doctor: "Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in."
- A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.
- My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said, "Cough!"
- The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back." Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!"
- The Doctor says, "You'll live to be 60!" "I AM 60!" "See, what did I tell you?"
- The patient says, "Doctor, it hurts when I do this." "Then don't do that!"
- A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand?" The doctor says, "That's what puzzles me!"
- "Doctor, my leg hurts. What can I do?" The doctor says, "Limp!"
- A man goes to a psychiatrist. "Nobody listens to me!" The doctor says, "Next!"
- A man goes to a psychiatrist. The doctor says, "You're crazy" The man says, "I want a second opinion!" "Okay, you're ugly too!"
- "Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears." "Don't answer!"
- Nurse: "Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office". Doctor: "Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in."
Falcon
DV8
- Location
- So. California
SP :lol1: Tks 4 the post. Henny was one of my faves....inane but still leg slappers.
That Guy
Homegrown Unknown
- Location
- Monterey Bay
Pappy
Living the Dream
When I was born, I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother. Mr. Henney Youngman