Senior Daze

G

Grumpy Ol' Man

Senior Member
Location
Kansas, U.S.
One night a nurse was making her rounds in a nursing home. While walking down the hall, she came across an open door. She looked in and saw old Frank sitting up in bed pretending to drive.
She asked "Frank, what are you doing?" He replied "I'm driving to Toronto". The nurse smiled at him and carried on making her rounds.
The next night as she walked past Frank's room she saw the same thing. Again she asked "Frank, what are you doing?" He replied "I'm driving to Toronto. It"s a two day trip, you know!" The nurse smiled at him and carried on making her rounds.
Five minutes later she came across another open door and looked in. She saw Bob pretending to have sex with someone. She asked "Bob, what are you doing?" Bob replied "I'm having sex with Frank's wife. He's gone to Toronto for a couple of days"...​
 
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.
One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?" "What dear?" she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth. ”I think you're bad luck."​
 
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The elderly gentleman had been having some unidentified health issues. So, he and his wife consulted with their family doctor. After some checking, the doctor said he needed to run some tests. He told the gentleman he would need a urine sample and a stool sample. To which his wife spoke up, "George, just leave him your underwear!"
 
The elderly gentleman was visiting with the doctor at his annual physical. The doctor asked, "George, are your bladder eliminations and bowel movements regular?"

"Doc, regular as clockwork! My bladder empties at exactly 5 a.m. every morning. My bowels empty at exactly 5:30 every morning."

"George, that's awesome!"

"No it's not, Doc! I don't wake up until 6:00!!!"
 
Little known fact. The largest consumer of ED drugs, ******, etc. is the nursing home industry. It's the easiest way to keep the old gents from rolling out of bed!!!
 
The lady was standing in front of the mirror, naked, crying her eyes out. Her husband inquired as to what was the problem. "My body is so old. Everything droops. Everything's wrinkled. My hips are to wide. All my joints ache. Nothing works right anymore!" To which he replied... "Cheer up, Honey! Your eyesight is just fine!"
 
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