Shopping with my son, acting as consultant.

Ronni

Ronni

Well-known Member
Location
Nashville TN
One of the many things I do every Christmas is go shopping with my son. He asks me, every year, if I'll come with him and help him shop for gifts for his siblings and his nieces and nephews. It's been going on for almost 10 years now, once he got into an earning bracket that allowed him to be generous with his money over Christmas. He's had a couple of serious girlfriends during that time (hasn't found THE ONE yet!!!) and I've asked him if he wouldn't prefer to go with her? His response is always the same, she is welcome to come along, but this is something he wants to do with me. For him it's entirely practical...he needs help with choices, sizing, practicalities etc. Because he doesn't have kids himself yet, he's a bit vague on the kinds of things his younger nieces and nephews would like. He forgets sizes for his siblings even though we do this every year. And often he just needs suggestions for things, even though we are a lists family and he has the same access to everyone's list as I do. It's fun, and sweet, and I always try and embarrass him as much as I can by dressing up in my most garish Christmas duds, and jingle bell my way through store after store! :)
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Do you shop with your kids or other family members?
 

For clothing and shoes, my daughter and I shop together and make a "girls day" out of it .. going for dinner afterward. It's always a fun time.

I think it's really sweet that your son enjoys your company and appreciates
your input :)
 

What great photos Ronni and what a handsome son you have. You look fantastic and so festive. If I wore that outfit you have on in the first photo out with my son he would put me in the back of his truck with a tarp over it. I don't get to go shopping with my son except to go to Hone Depot to pick out a new sink or something. I did had fun shopping with my daughter this past summer picking up early Christmas gifts as we traveled though the New England states.

I cherish every minute I can spend with my kids. They are a blessing.
 
Great picture of you and your son Ronni, you must feel so good being loved and needed like that by your children.
 
SeaBreeze said:
Great picture of you and your son Ronni, you must feel so good being loved and needed like that by your children.
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You touched on something that I wanted to mention. I am so grateful for the fact that my kids enjoy spending time with me, at least that's the way it appears. They all do what this son did and make a plan to spend time, take me out for lunch, call if they happen to be on my side of town to see if they can drop in or grab a drink or a meal. I have no idea how that happened, but I am so so grateful that I have that kind of relationship with them. Even my boy in California with his wife and 4 kids makes a specific point to call or FaceTime frequently, he's the one that takes me on the fabulous vacations, that kind of thing.

I know so many parents my age whose relationships with their kids are not close, not the way mine is with my children. I wonder if it has to do with the fact that we lived through great hardship together with their Dad and his abuse and control, and we all stood for each other and with each other against their Dad, and had each other's backs.

Whatever the reason, I am profoundly grateful for these children of mine, and the close and loving relationship I have with each of them.
 
What a doll he is, Ronni!

I only have one child, a son who does not need to shop with me, but we're in touch every evening (I'm ok-you ok?) at least and get together for a meal about every two weeks.

In fact they're coming over for supper tonight.
 
RadishRose said:
What a doll he is, Ronni!

I only have one child, a son who does not need to shop with me, but we're in touch every evening (I'm ok-you ok?) at least and get together for a meal about every two weeks.

In fact they're coming over for supper tonight.
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That is so cool! Don’t you love that?!
 
Our daughter is the best thing that ever happened to us. We met for dinner at a fabulous restaurant last night, then she phoned us when we reached home :)

Aren't we fortunate to have such loving kids.

Ronni, my father was abusive, and we kids grew closer to our mother because of it. We felt a need to protect her, and put her on a pedestal seeing her strength and bravery. No doubt that's what your kids feel/felt.
 
Pinky said:
Ronni, my father was abusive, and we kids grew closer to our mother because of it. We felt a need to protect her, and put her on a pedestal seeing her strength and bravery. No doubt that's what your kids feel/felt.
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Pinky, I'm so sorry...having lived with it for 30 plus years till I found the courage to leave, I know what hell it is!

My kids and I have all talked very frankly about the abuse in their lives, the effect it had, and all are agreed that it certainly drew us all closer together. My kids as siblings are very close, regularly hang out in different groupings or call on each other for help. They each have a knowledge or strength that is helpful to the rest of us...one is very mechanical and a handyman type, so he gets called for car issues and repair. One is extremely tech savvy so he's the one we all go to for computer/electronic issues. One is an entrepreneur type (he's also the firefighter) and owns restaurants and subdivisions, so he's always called for financial/investment advice. One is very into computer hardware, builds his own computers, does repair etc., so we check in with him for hardware issues. And my daughter is a SAHM and homeschooler, and is extremely knowledgeable in all areas of mothering. She's a lactation consultant, has various certifications in childbirth coaching and and such, and is now pursuing more education in being an educator.

Considering their very dysfunctional upbringing, they are remarkably emotionally healthy and functional!
 
Ronni, it's wonderful how close your children are to one another, and you.
I believe what doesn't break you, only makes you stronger.

I used to wonder how we were able to even laugh, but we are all happy individuals. Maybe we appreciate happiness more because we endured.


 

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