Should you text before calling? Phone etiquette expert explains the new rules

hollydolly

hollydolly

SF VIP
Location
London England

-..including NO voicemails​


Always text before calling​

Modern-day etiquette states that you should always text someone before calling to avoid catching someone in a sticky spot or them rejecting your phone call.

It's a good idea to text someone a couple of minutes before you plan on calling them to ask if they are free to talk now, or if they can suggest a time they’d like to talk later.

A simple 'Can I call you in 10 minutes?' can go a long way.

ou can refuse to pick up a call without guilt​

Phone etiquette isn't just limited to the sender. There are some rules meant for the receiver as well. If someone is calling you at a time that is inconvenient to you, it is your responsibility to not pick up and let them know why.

Lizzie Post, etiquette expert and co-president at the Emily Post Institute told The Washington Post: 'We all have control of our phones and can decide if it’s the right time to answer it. If someone interrupts you and you’re ticked off about it, guess whose fault that is? You’re the one who answered the call when you shouldn’t.'

If you're worried about coming-off as a rude to the caller, just drop 'I'll call you back in a while' in the text box.

A rule for the caller: If someone doesn't pick up the phone, don't immediately call them again unless it's an emergency. If it is an emergency, text them or send them a voice message and tell them so.

My own personal irritant..

Speakerphone is not for public use

We've all heard of the phrase, 'Use your indoor voice' when in a public setting. The same applies to phones. Avoid using the speaker button when you are in public to avoid disturbing other people.

If you're making a call, whether it's a voice call, a video call or even on your smartwatch, use good quality headphones or wait until later.

At times, using headphones isn't enough because people can still hear what you're saying. If you're in a crowded place like an office or a store, remember to be considerate of others' personal space and how loudly you're talking.

No voicemails in 2023​

This rule may disappoint generations who once relied on answering machines, but voicemails are now a thing of the past. With a wide variety of text messaging apps now available, important information can be easily communicated in writing.

An etiquette expert explained that the only appropriate time to leave a voice mail is when the other person would be genuinely happy to hear your voice.

One final important rule to remember is: The closer you are to someone, the less the rules apply.

Etiquette experts explain NEW phone rules

what do you think... ?
 

This reminded me of something new I've encountered, people walking back and forth in front of my house and crouching down erratically. I finally figured out that a lot of walkers wear those wireless earbuds, and they fall out and get lost pretty often. I suspect the places these can end up in are sometimes pretty bad too. They probably don't survive a full dunk.

They probably don't even come in single "replacements" right? Lose one or wreck one, buy a new set?
 
hollydolly said:

-..including NO voicemails​


Always text before calling​

Modern-day etiquette states that you should always text someone before calling to avoid catching someone in a sticky spot or them rejecting your phone call.

It's a good idea to text someone a couple of minutes before you plan on calling them to ask if they are free to talk now, or if they can suggest a time they’d like to talk later.

A simple 'Can I call you in 10 minutes?' can go a long way.

ou can refuse to pick up a call without guilt​

Phone etiquette isn't just limited to the sender. There are some rules meant for the receiver as well. If someone is calling you at a time that is inconvenient to you, it is your responsibility to not pick up and let them know why.

Lizzie Post, etiquette expert and co-president at the Emily Post Institute told The Washington Post: 'We all have control of our phones and can decide if it’s the right time to answer it. If someone interrupts you and you’re ticked off about it, guess whose fault that is? You’re the one who answered the call when you shouldn’t.'

If you're worried about coming-off as a rude to the caller, just drop 'I'll call you back in a while' in the text box.

A rule for the caller: If someone doesn't pick up the phone, don't immediately call them again unless it's an emergency. If it is an emergency, text them or send them a voice message and tell them so.

My own personal irritant..

Speakerphone is not for public use

We've all heard of the phrase, 'Use your indoor voice' when in a public setting. The same applies to phones. Avoid using the speaker button when you are in public to avoid disturbing other people.

If you're making a call, whether it's a voice call, a video call or even on your smartwatch, use good quality headphones or wait until later.

At times, using headphones isn't enough because people can still hear what you're saying. If you're in a crowded place like an office or a store, remember to be considerate of others' personal space and how loudly you're talking.

No voicemails in 2023​

This rule may disappoint generations who once relied on answering machines, but voicemails are now a thing of the past. With a wide variety of text messaging apps now available, important information can be easily communicated in writing.

An etiquette expert explained that the only appropriate time to leave a voice mail is when the other person would be genuinely happy to hear your voice.

One final important rule to remember is: The closer you are to someone, the less the rules apply.

Etiquette experts explain NEW phone rules

what do you think... ?
Click to expand...
I follow those rules. I hate to leave a voicemail. I sound nerdy and THAT CAN'T be right!
 

hollydolly said:

-..including NO voicemails​


Always text before calling​

Modern-day etiquette states that you should always text someone before calling to avoid catching someone in a sticky spot or them rejecting your phone call.

It's a good idea to text someone a couple of minutes before you plan on calling them to ask if they are free to talk now, or if they can suggest a time they’d like to talk later.

A simple 'Can I call you in 10 minutes?' can go a long way.

ou can refuse to pick up a call without guilt​

Phone etiquette isn't just limited to the sender. There are some rules meant for the receiver as well. If someone is calling you at a time that is inconvenient to you, it is your responsibility to not pick up and let them know why.

Lizzie Post, etiquette expert and co-president at the Emily Post Institute told The Washington Post: 'We all have control of our phones and can decide if it’s the right time to answer it. If someone interrupts you and you’re ticked off about it, guess whose fault that is? You’re the one who answered the call when you shouldn’t.'

If you're worried about coming-off as a rude to the caller, just drop 'I'll call you back in a while' in the text box.

A rule for the caller: If someone doesn't pick up the phone, don't immediately call them again unless it's an emergency. If it is an emergency, text them or send them a voice message and tell them so.

My own personal irritant..

Speakerphone is not for public use

We've all heard of the phrase, 'Use your indoor voice' when in a public setting. The same applies to phones. Avoid using the speaker button when you are in public to avoid disturbing other people.

If you're making a call, whether it's a voice call, a video call or even on your smartwatch, use good quality headphones or wait until later.

At times, using headphones isn't enough because people can still hear what you're saying. If you're in a crowded place like an office or a store, remember to be considerate of others' personal space and how loudly you're talking.

No voicemails in 2023​

This rule may disappoint generations who once relied on answering machines, but voicemails are now a thing of the past. With a wide variety of text messaging apps now available, important information can be easily communicated in writing.

An etiquette expert explained that the only appropriate time to leave a voice mail is when the other person would be genuinely happy to hear your voice.

One final important rule to remember is: The closer you are to someone, the less the rules apply.

Etiquette experts explain NEW phone rules

what do you think... ?
Click to expand...
All great points, I didn't know that other people felt like I do, and created an "etiquette" for phoning.

Yes, NO VOICEMAILS! I can see right now that I've got a couple voicemails that I'm not gonna check, until I'm expecting a call that I need to hear.(did that make sense?). :unsure:

ALWAYS text first before you call, unless you're calling a business or 911.
 
Lizzie Post’s rules apply to people who function on cell phones. Many have cell phones for emergencies only so don’t read the texts.

If someone calls me and I can’t take the call, I let it ring or use my watch to disconnect them.

There‘re lots of times I don’t see texts until later. It probably would have been fine to call me so having thought about this, I disagree with Lizzie.
 
I don't have a cell so I can't text. To be truthfull, I don't call my son unless necessary. He has his own life, working, raising a family. I do not want to bother him just to chat.

Funny thing, as most of you know, I can't sleep at night. Now, I sleep during the day. I don't answer the phone if I am sleeping, in fact, I try to remember to take it off the hook when I do lay down. Apparently, he had tried to reach me for a couple of days without an answer. He showed up at the door unexpectedly. He got scared he could not get me.

I, of course, was fine. I got a stern talking to. I told him, I don't call you if I don't have to. I do not want to be a disruption. We discussed once again, I sleep during the day. If you need me call in the evening or even in the middle of the night. We decided that I should call him every friday night at least. So now I call, "I am alive" he says "Good" call me if you need anything.

The next day, he calls to see if I can watch the grandson while they go out. Ain't life funny!!
 
How many of you know you can text from your mobile to a landline. ?..well at least in the Uk you can. So... you text in the normal way but to a landline number.. and what happens is that the landline phone rings, and the Al voice reads the text message to the recipient..
 
hollydolly said:
How many of you know you can text from your mobile to a landline. ?..well at least in the Uk you can. So... you text in the normal way but to a landline number.. and what happens is that the landline phone rings, and the Al voice reads the text message to the recipient..
Click to expand...
If I receive a text while in my truck it will be read to me audibly. At home the landline comes over our super fast digital fiber optic network; there may be a text feature possible, but our landline equipment is pretty ancient. I want to send it to e-waste and discontinue landline service, but DW clings to it...
 
Nathan said:
If I receive a text while in my truck it will be read to me audibly. At home the landline comes over our super fast digital fiber optic network; there may be a text feature possible, but our landline equipment is pretty ancient. I want to send it to e-waste and discontinue landline service, but DW clings to it...
Click to expand...
I also have superfast Fibre optic network... and cordless digital dect landline phone.. but it doesn't matter what landline you have... to receive a text from a mobile phone... again I can only speak for the UK.. but go ahead and try it all of you... not in the UK:D
 
hollydolly said:
How many of you know you can text from your mobile to a landline. ?..well at least in the Uk you can. So... you text in the normal way but to a landline number.. and what happens is that the landline phone rings, and the Al voice reads the text message to the recipient..
Click to expand...
I have never heard of it but might be usefull for many. My problem is that I am asleep. I do have a pop up on my TV when the phone rings. It shows the name of the caller and the phone number.
 
@Nathan , I know that is a choice many have made, get rid of the land line and just use their cell phone. I have kept the landline for all these years because I wanted a sure option to call 911, once you dial those numbers, someone will show up, even if you can't speak, even if you are disconnected. I have had both my ill husband and my Mom here. Many of times I had to call for an ambulance. I know that this will never fail me if I can just dial that number.
 
Blessed said:
I have never heard of it but might be usefull for many. My problem is that I am asleep. I do have a pop up on my TV when the phone rings. It shows the name of the caller and the phone number.
Click to expand...
Well surely if you're asleep yor TV pop-up won't be of any use.. whereas your phone will ring, and therefore always available for people to contact you in an emergency. if you're sleeping during the day, turn your phone ringer off, and wehn you wake if someone has text your landline, you will get the call once you wake and turn it back on..
 
I'm just amused that people using VoIP phones are fooled that they have a "landline" phone. It isn't the same thing at all. If your power fails you have nothing. Real copper landlines keep on working since the CO location your wire runs to has battery-based or robust backup power systems. Of course if all of your phones use AC power (typically cordless) you're still screwed, just as when any aerial wires on poles involved get cut.
 
hollydolly said:
Well surely if you're asleep yor TV pop-up won't be of any use.. whereas your phone will ring, and therefore always available for people to contact you in an emergency. if you're sleeping during the day, turn your phone ringer off, and wehn you wake if someone has text your landline, you will get the call once you wake and turn it back on..
Click to expand...
I take it off the hook when I do sleep, to let the son know I am sleeping. I put it back on the hook when I wake up. Of course, I do have to leave the house once in a while for errands. I am sometimes out back with the dogs. For the most part, I don't worry about it. Most of the calls are from telemarketers.
 
dilettante said:
I'm just amused that people using VoIP phones are fooled that they have a "landline" phone. It isn't the same thing at all. If your power fails you have nothing. Real copper landlines keep on working since the CO location your wire runs to has battery-based or robust backup power systems. Of course if all of your phones use AC power (typically cordless) you're still screwed, just as when any aerial wires on poles involved get cut.
Click to expand...
You are correct, power out, phone out. I have had to go to neighbors during a storm before. Huge tree fell, struck the power lines. There was sparking and fire. I am blessed, I have been here 30 years, neighbors know each other and will step up during times of need. One other time I had to go next door to have them call 911, I was in severe pain due to a collapsed hip and possible overdose on pain medication. Everything was okay, was just me freaking out.
 
I don't mind people calling before sending a text. If I am free, I will answer, if not, I won't. If anyone leave a vm message, I will listen to it- which anyone rarely do these days (unless it's a business or telemarketers). I am one of those people that don't leave vm messages. I'm sensing text took the place of vm messages??
 
Blessed said:
One other time I had to go next door to have them call 911, I was in severe pain due to a collapsed hip and possible overdose on pain medication. Everything was okay, was just me freaking out.
Click to expand...
Freaking out? Did I miss something? I'd be freaking out too but it sounds like that was justified!
 
dilettante said:
I'm just amused that people using VoIP phones are fooled that they have a "landline" phone. It isn't the same thing at all. If your power fails you have nothing. Real copper landlines keep on working since the CO location your wire runs to has battery-based or robust backup power systems. Of course if all of your phones use AC power (typically cordless) you're still screwed, just as when any aerial wires on poles involved get cut.
Click to expand...
BritishTelecom is ditching a pledge to ensure phone users aged over 70 can keep their landlines and will not be forced on to controversial new digital lines for 12 months - and is signing them up straight away.

The telecoms giant was made to shelve its initial rollout last year after an investigation by our sister newspaper The Mail on Sunday alerted the industry watchdog Ofcom to operational flaws, including how customers cannot use their phone lines in a power cut.

It was only restarted after an advisory group agreed to allow elderly homeowners the chance to delay installation by 12 months so they could get to grips with the new technology and not feel forced by the move.


But it now feels tricked - as after agreeing to the deal BT is quietly raising the age from when you can delay installation to 75.
Although BT is alerting homes of the change - with cards and letters sent through the post, emails and texts - it is leaving it up to customers to put it on hold.

The new digital phones must be plugged into an electric socket and require a broadband connection to work - using so-called Voice Over Internet Protocol (VoIP) technology rather than analogue signals on copper lines.

​



Six million adults do not own a mobile phone and 1.5 million homes do not use the internet.

Digital Voice requires customers to use a new handset - or adapter for old phones - that plugs into an internet and electricity socket.

If you do not use the internet, BT says it will send out engineers to adapt phone lines for free - and provide a new digital handset and adapter for free.

BT charges £85 for power-pack batteries for those who fear they may be stuck in a power cut - but for vulnerable customers it should provide these for free. Phone users should not notice a change in sound quality.

Over the next two years BT wants to switch 10 million customers to digital. Nationwide, the Government wants all 29 million homes to embrace digital technology.

BT announces regional rollout plans for digital landline switchover

Fortunately this doesn't affect me...
 
hollydolly said:
BritishTelecom is ditching a pledge to ensure phone users aged over 70 can keep their landlines and will not be forced on to controversial new digital lines for 12 months - and is signing them up straight away.

The telecoms giant was made to shelve its initial rollout last year after an investigation by our sister newspaper The Mail on Sunday alerted the industry watchdog Ofcom to operational flaws, including how customers cannot use their phone lines in a power cut.

It was only restarted after an advisory group agreed to allow elderly homeowners the chance to delay installation by 12 months so they could get to grips with the new technology and not feel forced by the move.


But it now feels tricked - as after agreeing to the deal BT is quietly raising the age from when you can delay installation to 75.
Although BT is alerting homes of the change - with cards and letters sent through the post, emails and texts - it is leaving it up to customers to put it on hold.

The new digital phones must be plugged into an electric socket and require a broadband connection to work - using so-called Voice Over Internet Protocol (VoIP) technology rather than analogue signals on copper lines.

​



Six million adults do not own a mobile phone and 1.5 million homes do not use the internet.

Digital Voice requires customers to use a new handset - or adapter for old phones - that plugs into an internet and electricity socket.

If you do not use the internet, BT says it will send out engineers to adapt phone lines for free - and provide a new digital handset and adapter for free.

BT charges £85 for power-pack batteries for those who fear they may be stuck in a power cut - but for vulnerable customers it should provide these for free. Phone users should not notice a change in sound quality.

Over the next two years BT wants to switch 10 million customers to digital. Nationwide, the Government wants all 29 million homes to embrace digital technology.

BT announces regional rollout plans for digital landline switchover

Fortunately this doesn't affect me...
Click to expand...
I do not like this at all. All these people, government that want to change how a much older population is using. One thing, it is hard for older people to adapt to new technology, second, they are expected to spend their limited funds to have what many see as conviences, things they don't need. They need food, the heat for their homes. In our country, it is gas for the food,home, car, medical, medicine, electricity, water. If governments want them to adapt, anywhere in the world, it should be covered cost by those said governments.

The majority of these people have worked hard all their lives, they have lived within their means. They have raised their families, paid all their bills, their taxes and now governments have decided to take away all things. Oh, we are sorry you are old and living on a fixed income but we are sorry we can't give you all the things we promised you. WTF!! is that, they have done their end so now you should do yours. This just makes me so mad!!

I am fine but I know there are way too many across the world that have done their part, paying into a system that is supposed to make sure they are taken care off in their old age. Now, they are hungry, sick, cold and even homeless due to a goverment that will not live up to the rules they made!!
 
hollydolly said:

-..including NO voicemails​


Always text before calling​

Modern-day etiquette states that you should always text someone before calling to avoid catching someone in a sticky spot or them rejecting your phone call.

It's a good idea to text someone a couple of minutes before you plan on calling them to ask if they are free to talk now, or if they can suggest a time they’d like to talk later.

A simple 'Can I call you in 10 minutes?' can go a long way.

ou can refuse to pick up a call without guilt​

Phone etiquette isn't just limited to the sender. There are some rules meant for the receiver as well. If someone is calling you at a time that is inconvenient to you, it is your responsibility to not pick up and let them know why.

Lizzie Post, etiquette expert and co-president at the Emily Post Institute told The Washington Post: 'We all have control of our phones and can decide if it’s the right time to answer it. If someone interrupts you and you’re ticked off about it, guess whose fault that is? You’re the one who answered the call when you shouldn’t.'

If you're worried about coming-off as a rude to the caller, just drop 'I'll call you back in a while' in the text box.

A rule for the caller: If someone doesn't pick up the phone, don't immediately call them again unless it's an emergency. If it is an emergency, text them or send them a voice message and tell them so.

My own personal irritant..

Speakerphone is not for public use

We've all heard of the phrase, 'Use your indoor voice' when in a public setting. The same applies to phones. Avoid using the speaker button when you are in public to avoid disturbing other people.

If you're making a call, whether it's a voice call, a video call or even on your smartwatch, use good quality headphones or wait until later.

At times, using headphones isn't enough because people can still hear what you're saying. If you're in a crowded place like an office or a store, remember to be considerate of others' personal space and how loudly you're talking.

No voicemails in 2023​

This rule may disappoint generations who once relied on answering machines, but voicemails are now a thing of the past. With a wide variety of text messaging apps now available, important information can be easily communicated in writing.

An etiquette expert explained that the only appropriate time to leave a voice mail is when the other person would be genuinely happy to hear your voice.

One final important rule to remember is: The closer you are to someone, the less the rules apply.

Etiquette experts explain NEW phone rules

what do you think... ?
Click to expand...
I just always act with sensitivity, keeping in mind that people have busy lives. I hate to intrude.
 
Well this has certainly raised my blood pressure. When will it all end? Next year will we need to send a telegram to tell someone a text is coming in so they can prepare for it?

A few years ago I was trying to learn the new rule that dropping in on someone, anyone, your mother or neighbor or best friend, was EVIL. Always call first, never just knock on the door! the horror! I felt so intimidated by all that (and what do you say? "I want to visit you while I'm in your neighborhood but I'm calling first so that you can invite me. I'm waiting on my invitation now?" So I just never visit anyone now, it's all too full of rules.

What does texting before you call do other than cause one more unnecessary time consuming step in the chain of communication? What on earth are you doing that you need to "prepare" for a phone call. Either answer the ring or don't!

People who want to talk to me can call my landline, if I don't answer they can leave a voice mail and I'll call them back. Simple.

I don't have a cell phone and never will. I appreciate my freedom to come and go without,"staying connected." I'm not a doctor or a child with serious health problems. I'm a grown up who can go to the store all by myself.
 

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