Sleep apnea, cpap machine

debbie in seattle

Senior Member
Location
Seattle
When my husband retired, he decided he had sleep apnea (he retired 3 years ago). For 20+ years his work hours were such that he'd go to bed at 5pm and get up at 1:30am. His family (10 siblings) are a bunch or nervous nellies, worry about everything, him included. Exhausting when they are all together. Anyway, my husband tried every imaginable product he could find on Amazon to help him sleep. Finally went to the doc, was tested and dx'd with mild apnea and recently was rx'd a cpap machine. He looks like he's got a giant condom on his face with a vacuum hose attached. He hates it, claims the mask doesn't fit right, water leaks all over, doesn't help at all. That being said, any time we've snorkeled, he's complained the mask was defective and leaked water, just like this cpap mask. I suggested he at least TRY meds to see if he could get back to a decent sleep routine, he claimed he's no druggie. His (our) quality of life sucks. He sits in our family room and sleeps all the time. We have an open concept area that has our family room, door to the deck and backyard, dining area and kitchen in this area. I'm stuck in the living room and have access to the bedrooms and (thank god) bathroom), that's it. He becomes angry if I go in the area he's in and wake him up. Daily, his routine is to get up, sit on his computer, go for an hour and half walk, come home, eat lunch, sit down in the recliner, turn on the tv and sleep until dinner, eat dinner, sit down and sleep until bedtime and then toss and turn all night when he goes to bed. Yes, I've discussed with him the sleeping all day and then unable to sleep at night. If something needs to be done around the house, it's only an hour of labor, between lunch and sitting in his recliner, never more.
We're leaving Sunday for Maui for two weeks, and I'm really not looking forward to this trip, he'll sit and sleep and I am basically on my own. He eats dinner and goes to bed, I'm again, on my own from about 6pm on.

I don't mean to be unsympathetic, but this is no life for anyone. Has anyone else experienced this? Yes, he's been to the doctor and is as healthy as a horse, no issues, besides this. He just turned 70, is this how 70 year olds act? We've been married 43 years.
 

They can perform very simple operations now that cure sleep apnea. I think it's worth a look into it for you. Someone with sleep apnea get's very little oxygen while sleeping and their body and energy just does not refresh through sleep. They are in a war for air the entire sleep. He may also suffer from a forum of isomnia. The sitting up sleeping is because he gets more air that way & it just becomes a habit. Maybe about the Hawaii thing you can book some kind of tour where you will be among other people and if he wants to poop out you can still find someone to talk to?
 
They can perform very simple operations now that cure sleep apnea. I think it's worth a look into it for you. Someone with sleep apnea get's very little oxygen while sleeping and their body and energy just does not refresh through sleep. They are in a war for air the entire sleep. He may also suffer from a forum of isomnia. The sitting up sleeping is because he gets more air that way & it just becomes a habit. Maybe about the Hawaii thing you can book some kind of tour where you will be among other people and if he wants to poop out you can still find someone to talk to?

Yes, it was discovered he has a deviated septum, but was told at his age, really wouldn't help.
 

Well, I am also a 70 year old male, and I can assure you not all of us are like that. I'm not at all. But, sadly, he is not alone.

And while you're on Maui, both of you should hop over to the Big Island. Not so "touristy", and more like Old Hawaii.
 
I can't even imagine how difficult and unpleasant his condition and unwillingness to try all the options (including meds) is making life for both of you. From your description it sounds like he's not even open to talking about alternatives, even where in the house he sleeps. I hope you can find some fun and relaxation on your trip. Hugs to you.
 
My wife suffers from sleep apnea, but rather than a full mask, she has one that has two nose plugs at the end of the hose. Much less cumbersome. Before the machine she was waking up (according to the sleep test) on average 47 times per hour! Snored regularly. No snoring now and the nightmares she used to suffer from have diminished since being on the machine. She hated having to use it, but now sleeps better (and so do I).

Perhaps you can get a different machine. They were going to give her a full mask and she nixed that idea straight away. Said she wanted the nose plugs and that's worked well.
 
I use a bi-pap machine (my third machine) and also a MAD device. (mandibular advancement device). I was diagnosed in 2003 after going on a 3-day Christian camping trip where we all had to sleep in a cabin. (about 30 of us). When I awoke the first morning, I was in the corner away from everyone with old extra mattresses stacked up between me and the rest of the people. Apparently I had kept everyone from getting a good night's sleep due to my snoring and gasping for breath (which I was unaware of)

There is much more to say about sleep apnea, but not enough room to give a great many details. Its been quite an experience over the last 13 years - some good, some bad. I am member of 2 forums where we talk about all the frustrations and experiences.

First, one must be determined that they will defeat this malady - and it is defeatable. I have mastered it. Sleep is no longer an issue for me. It takes me about 2 minutes to go through a routine every night - place a little distilled water in my bipap, wash my nasal mask, place my mouth piece into a small container of warm water with one Polident tablet for 1.5 min, turn on my noise machine, and I'm off to slumberland with sweet dreams. Its not a problem for me at all. Incidentally, if he is not dreaming when he sleeps, he is not gettng good REM sleep, which is another reason to get tested.

I use the software called SleepHead which monitors and gives me reports on my computer to keep pace with my therapy. At present my AHI (apnea index) is very steady at between .8 - 1.1, which is virtually a cure. I've been healthier, felt better, still ride my bicycle 3 or 4 times a week on the Greenway and lead a fairly active life. (even at the age of 78) I don't say this to brag, but just to let anyone know that there IS a cure for sleep apnea - one has to be persistent and determined. Also, I see my sleep doctor twice a year, and all the data from my apnea is forwarded to him. Another nice thing is that Medicare pays for all of it. I don't want to be rude in any way, but there is no reason for anyone to feel defeated my sleep apnea. You can overcome it. Don't let anyone say you can't. So my first suggestion is for anyone who thinks they might have the malady to please go and get tested. Why not?
 


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