For many people, the holidays represent the loneliest time of the year. However, loneliness, and the social isolation that often accompanies it, is in season all year long. In an AARP survey of people age 45 and older, 35% reported feeling lonely. In another by the National Science Foundation, one in four respondents of all ages said they had no one they could turn to in times of need.
Humans are social beings, wired for connection not only as a survival mechanism but also as a source of deep emotional and spiritual satisfaction. This explains why efforts are being made across the country to foster a sense of connectivity and community.
Fragmentation and Fear
Scientists have discovered that being socially isolated actually changes brain chemistry: Mice kept in chronic social isolation were deeply fearful and aggressive towards mice they didn’t know; they also overreacted to threats. Among people, isolation has been linked to depression and anxiety, in part because it removes a barrier against the effects of stress.
Feeling lonely doesn’t just affect emotional health. Scientists have linked loneliness among seniors with a greater risk of death, disease and mental decline. And socially isolated children showed higher rates of such cardiovascular risk factors as elevated blood pressure and cholesterol levels by the time they were in their mid-twenties.
A lot of factors explain increasing isolation. “There has been a tremendous shift towards assisted living and memory care facilities” for housing older people, notes Helen Riess, MD, who teaches psychiatry at Harvard. What’s more, “the emphasis on individual achievement has led to a self-focused kind of framework.”
Bridging the Age Gap
One way to overcome social isolation is to bring seniors and children together. “Those are two generations that have been artificially separated from each other,” says Donna Butts, executive director of Generations United. “They are usually the ones that are ignored or cast aside—they’re told they are done or they are not ready yet.”
A growing number of facilities provide child and adult daycare under one roof, such as the Champion Intergenerational Center in Columbus, Ohio. It represents a collaboration among Ohio State University; Columbus Early Learning Centers, which provides early childhood care and education; and National Church Residences Center, which provides the adult care.
“At the center, both generations help each other,” says program manager Elizabeth Speidel. Client Willie Mayne agrees. “I really enjoy the parties they have. I have fun,” says the 65-year-old retired maintenance man, known around the center for teaching dominoes to the youngsters. Speidel adds, “Willie does a mighty fine job of putting barrettes in little girls’ hair.”
For seniors, a key issue is lost mobility, which often strands people in their homes. “They don’t have a strong connection to the community, so we go into the home and bring that community to them,” says Jenna Hauss, ACSW, director of the ONEgeneration Senior Enrichment Center in Reseda, California. (AARP offers services to seniors at risk for isolation; see connect2affect.org.)
In one ONEgeneration program, cognitively impaired seniors spend supervised time aiding young children: Helping them eat lunch, reading to them. For the seniors, says Hauss, “It makes them feel like they can give back.” Another program pairs high school students and seniors. Hauss says that for the teens, “talking to someone who is older lets them develop a sense that we aren’t so different.”
Speidel has also seen the power of community in action. She recalls a time when two OSU social work students ran a music program with the older adults: “People started standing up and dancing. At the end, one older adult asked the students, ‘What music do you like?’ The student said, ‘We’ll address that next week’ and the older adult replied, ‘Why not do it right now?’ So often we are caught up in deadlines. There’s the danger that we miss out on moments of caring for each other.”
Ultimately, connecting with others is about more than just fending off loneliness and its ill effects. “How can we help each other feel valued, be engaged and find purpose in our lives?” Speidel asks. “Each person, no matter who they are, has something to contribute and something to gain.”
