Sometimes facing reality is stressful.

Ladybj

Live, Laugh and Love
Not going to tell my age but I'm UP THERE!
Don't worry! 80 is the new 18!
Well, Maybe 60!
Remember when we were 40? Women who were 80 were pictured in a rocker with a shawl?
That's not us!
Chronological age is meaningless! it really is!
Happy four more years of driving!
I agree - age is just a number. It's all about how you feel Mind, Body, Spirit. To reach 80 is a blessing - especially if you are in a great mental and pretty good physical state.
 

MarciKS

SF VIP
Today I got my new drivers license through the mail. Looking at the date it says I must renew it in 4 years.
I came to the realization that this may be my last license.
I will be 80 in four years. My hubby still has his and he is 83 but he drives a lot and seems to be very comfortable behind the wheel and has never had an accident.
I Haven't either but I am a nervous driver and only drive locally
It just gave me a strange feeling.
🤗 not easy to accept i'm sure.
 

Jules

Well-known Member
Location
N of 49
I’ve learned to adapt to limited driving. At nighttime was difficult years ago. Now with the one eye being permanently dilated, I can’t tolerate when it’s really bright or the sun is low if I’m driving into it. Instead I keep to limited hours a day or walk to the corner stores for a few groceries at a time. I have a trolley to haul my goods home. Actually walking is better for me.
 

StarSong

Awkward is my Superpower
DH & I are in our late 60s so still ok to drive. I agree with others here: if and when we can no longer drive safely it will be time to move where grocery stores and other shops are within reasonable walking distance. Sure, we could have them delivered, but it's important to get oneself out in the world. Wouldn't want to excessively burden our children, their spouses or our grands.
 

officerripley

Senior Member
Location
Porlock, Calif
From going through this myself (I no longer can drive much: reflexes, etc.) and observing both IRL and online friends, both with kids willing/able to help and not, I keep hearing (both from friends and from my Huzz), when (or even some say "if"; for crying out loud, if you live long enough, the time will absolutely come when you can no longer drive, so "if" shouldn't even be considered) the time comes that driving is an issue for us/me, then I'll/we'll look into what we should do about it. "When", "then"; I keep hearing those words out of everybody. But if you wait 'till "when" happens, you most likely waited too long and your options are going to be limited; options almost always become limited the longer you wait, especially when it comes to old-age housing, etc. But so many people seem to think they're going to beat the considerable odds and be that one-in-a-million old person who stayed both physically & mentally healthy & kept driving just fine right up to the age of 102 & then died peacefully & painlessly in their sleep. Doesn't happen that way for most and I think preparation for what's ahead is always a good idea.
 
In the US, there is no age discrimination, you can drive till you can't breath. But there are standards of physical ability that have to be met-eye sight, etc. When I first came out of the hospital after a year of treatment, I tried to drive. I figured if I took my time, and drove slow, I'd be OK. I was on a highway, doing about 30, and people were passing me by. The speed limit was 55. I was watching people take stupid risks to pass me. It dawned on me that I was causing people to risk their lives, because I couldn't drive the speed limit. I should have never been on the road. Thankfully, I can now drive with traffic. I really don't know what I'm going to do if I can't. I live in the sticks. Grocery stores don't deliver to my area. Yeah, there's other alternatives, but can you afford $30 for a package of six hotdogs?
 

StarSong

Awkward is my Superpower
From going through this myself (I no longer can drive much: reflexes, etc.) and observing both IRL and online friends, both with kids willing/able to help and not, I keep hearing (both from friends and from my Huzz), when (or even some say "if"; for crying out loud, if you live long enough, the time will absolutely come when you can no longer drive, so "if" shouldn't even be considered) the time comes that driving is an issue for us/me, then I'll/we'll look into what we should do about it. "When", "then"; I keep hearing those words out of everybody. But if you wait 'till "when" happens, you most likely waited too long and your options are going to be limited; options almost always become limited the longer you wait, especially when it comes to old-age housing, etc. But so many people seem to think they're going to beat the considerable odds and be that one-in-a-million old person who stayed both physically & mentally healthy & kept driving just fine right up to the age of 102 & then died peacefully & painlessly in their sleep. Doesn't happen that way for most and I think preparation for what's ahead is always a good idea.
You make some good points, Officer. Might DH and I need to look into this over the next ten years? Perhaps. Fortunately, our abilities and health don't seem near that point yet.

We aren't ready to sell the big house and give up all that goes along with it. However, we're pretty realistic about what is likely coming down the pike, having ushered our parents through that process. When we (or our children) start to notice problems we'll likely downsize to a condo or much smaller house close to shopping (or one of our kids).

Edited to add: For the past several years I'd been pushing my husband to downsize but he was very reluctant. Since he usually bows to my requests and was pushing back hard, I let this one go. Good thing.

Dealing with the pandemic in much closer quarters or a condo would have been far more challenging than doing so in our roomy house with a yard and suburban neighborhood.
 

Lewkat

Well-known Member
Location
New Jersey, USA
I was driving one day when I suddenly lost my hearing in my right ear and partially in my left ear. I was unaware of the fact until a motorcyclist pulled along side of me and began yelling at me. My window was open and I did not hear him. Needless to say, I was shocked beyond belief. I finally pulled over, but he had gone on. I turned the radio on and didn't hear much of anything. I guess that I nearly hit the clyclist as I did not see him but worse, did not hear him. That did it. I gave my keys to my son when I arrived home and haven't driven since. I turned my license in and obtained a state ID.
 

mellowyellow

Senior Member
The thing that scares me the most when driving is road rage. So many people are uptight and angry, you have to really watch your manners. Merging traffic is the worst, jockeying for position as your lane ends can be dangerous so I’m very careful not to be too aggressive but it’s frustrating. There are shocking road rage incidents every day and younger men and women are the worst.
 

officerripley

Senior Member
Location
Porlock, Calif
Another thing to keep in mind: about 5 years ago, I took a "mature drivers" class (arranged by Amer. Assoc. of Retired Persons) and the teacher told us that it had been discovered in testing done by the Toyota Motors Co. (who'd you think would be bending over backwards to keep every1 behind the wheel but...) that starting at age 50, peripheral vision of the human eye starts going downhill. They had discovered it when it dawned on somebody that in a lot of accidents where at least one driver was 50 or over, the 50+ year old was trying to make a left-hand turn at an intersection that didn't have a left-turn light. So the instructors says, since this class is for 50 and over, everyone here should no longer try to make left turns without a left-turn light, instead make 3 right turns and go back through the intersection that way. So that made me really start thinking about all this.
 

fmdog44

Well-known Member
Location
Houston, Texas
Not going to tell my age but I'm UP THERE!
Don't worry! 80 is the new 18!
Well, Maybe 60!
Remember when we were 40? Women who were 80 were pictured in a rocker with a shawl?
That's not us!
Chronological age is meaningless! it really is!
Happy four more years of driving!
Thank you Walt Disney
 
Is there a certain age they take away the driver's license or just if you fail the medical , hearing and eye tests at the license renewal?
Anybody know?

Not here in NM. I dunno about other states. What's this "medical" you keep referring to? Here in NM a medical exam is only required if you have a medical condition that could interfere with safe driving, like epilepsy, for instance.
 

StarSong

Awkward is my Superpower
Another thing to keep in mind: about 5 years ago, I took a "mature drivers" class (arranged by Amer. Assoc. of Retired Persons) and the teacher told us that it had been discovered in testing done by the Toyota Motors Co. (who'd you think would be bending over backwards to keep every1 behind the wheel but...) that starting at age 50, peripheral vision of the human eye starts going downhill. They had discovered it when it dawned on somebody that in a lot of accidents where at least one driver was 50 or over, the 50+ year old was trying to make a left-hand turn at an intersection that didn't have a left-turn light. So the instructors says, since this class is for 50 and over, everyone here should no longer try to make left turns without a left-turn light, instead make 3 right turns and go back through the intersection that way. So that made me really start thinking about all this.
After an analysis of accidents and fuel wasted while idling, UPS routes are designed for rare left turns. Since learning that, I try to do the same. Didn't know the part about peripheral vision though... thanks for the info.
 

Pepper

Well-known Member
Location
NYC
I face a reality that stresses me out, my cats. One or the other or both is always throwing up. The stains are disgusting. I can't take the clean up, it's never clean again. Sometimes when I see it I scream in anger, or even cry.

The three of us are growing old and revolting. They are 15. The three of us are just not the same anymore, a stressful reality.
 

HoneyNut

Member
The stains are disgusting. I can't take the clean up, it's never clean again.
I have this problem too! I'd like to switch from carpet to a flooring that is easier to clean, but it is hard to figure out how to do that, what with cost and how would it be done with all the furniture, and would I like it or not.
 

Lewkat

Well-known Member
Location
New Jersey, USA
Did your hearing return, @Lewkat? Any idea what caused it? How terrifying that must have been!
No, it didn't StarSong. I think some of it was genetic. My dad lost his as well. Also, when I was in the Air Force, I was a flight nurse for many months and being on the flight line daily with lines of plane engines revving up added to the problem. My corpsman and I would have to remove our ear plugs and shout at one another to confirm our manifest. Heaven forbid we'd have the wrong patient on a plane going in another direction. So, it was Excederin Headache # whatever on a daily basis when we were flying. I wear hearing aids and can hear quite well out of the left ear only.
 


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