Soon to be 75

S

Silly Tilly

New Member
I'm thinking I should be planning ahead, health is decent right now but who knows about tomorrow. I would love to move where it's warm all year round but I really don't know anyone in any other state, if I move cross country it would be starting all over for sure. Any opinions on moving verses staying put, at 75, I don't think I can afford to winter elsewhere, so I'm stuck in the Tundra for 6 months and hate it. Will probably hate it more in a few weeks when my job ends. I'm terrified of ice, walking, driving, don't like any of it. Senior housing is quite expensive and most of it is "rentals", I've always been an owner. I'm just feeling this unrest like I need to take some action before some action takes me. I'm also single, no pets, children live here but don't see them much as they are in the thick of their active lives with kids about ready to fly the nest, busy-busy time for them. Anyone thoughts, ideas?:confused:
 

Silly Tilly, I sure understand your feelings about cold, snow, and ice....and the hazards it creates. You say you don't see your kids much, but if your health failed to the point that you needed assistance, would they/could they be there for you? If that isn't feasible or realistic, then you might be no worse off by moving to a warmer climate where you don't know anyone. You could always make friends, join a senior center, do some volunteering if that suited you. At least you wouldn't feel cooped up for 6 months of the year. Look into cities that have good medical care and find housing within a reasonable distance. Many communities also have a "council on aging" advocacy group that can assist or provide referrals for in-home care if it becomes necessary. If you are in a position to buy a property, maybe consider a mobile home park where you own the land. Or purchase a condominium with low HOA fees so you don't have to worry about a lot of upkeep. The hard part would probably be figuring out where to move. That challenge in itself, I think, keeps many people rooted where they are. Sounds like you may already have a place in mind?

I think there are many of us here on the forum who are starting to feel our mortality, especially those who are single or have no kids, or who are not close with family. There is no crystal ball to tell us what our health will be or how long we will live, so trying to make decisions about the future at our age is like throwing darts at a dartboard with a blindfold on. I wish you luck with your decision.
 
Hi, Tilly. Where is the Tundra to which you refer? For me, anyway, at this point in my life I wouldn't move to a place where I had no connections at all, and no prior knowledge of what life is REALLY like at the new location -- you might be jumping into a place that you disliked for other reasons. Sometimes what you hear about other places to live isn't anything like what it really is to live there. Every place has its drawbacks. I like the idea that I'm in a place where I know people and people know me and I have connections -- even simple things like a doctor and hairdresser and neighbors and people working in stores I frequent. I lived all over the place when I was younger, both on my own and as a military dependent; I loved it then, but I always had connections (the military is one big fat connection) or my work connections.

Also, could you easily sell your house and get enough out of it to start over? And, of course, the moving in itself is a HUGE hassle and a huge amount of work. Not saying it wouldn't be worth it, but those are things to consider, too.

Is there something you could do in your present location to make winter life more pleasant? Like take little trips or something?
 
We live in a 55+ condo, which we own, no outside maintenance or yard work.

Folks here are from other places and have made friends since moving here.
 
At your age, I would definitely stay put. Your kids live close. Sooner or later, you will definitely need some kind of help. I am 83. Lost my wife back in March. I walk with difficulty, need two pairs of glasses to function and am hard of hearing. I never would have been able to deal with all of my wife's care issues, and all of the legal details without my son's help. Of course you only have yourself to consider, but if you live long enough, you are going to need an advocate to help you with your own care. You will not be doing your kids a favor by moving across the country and then falling ill.

I am living by myself in my own house. I still drive, but only once a week about 8 miles to the supermarket. I have most of my food delivered by a food service and do my other shopping on-line. My neighbor across the street keeps me shoveled out in the Winter and mows the lawn in the Summer. She does it out of a good heart, but I take care of her every month. I am pretty much a voluntary shut in. Its working for me at the moment. I still have all of my own stuff. The TV, PC games and this forum keep me amused. Hoping to die instantly from a cardiac arrest. Thinking ahead is very wise. Hate to be a bummer. Life is going to get more difficult no matter what you do.
 
AZ Jim said:
Just googled that Pappy, it has a lot of crime according to this: http://cnnmoney.trulia.com/property/1063700332-2448-Ersoff-Blvd-NE-Palm-Bay-FL-32905
Click to expand...

True that, Jim. Pretty much the same wherever you go in Florida. We feel safe in our community as there is no soliciting in the community as well as one call now to alert any suspicious activity in the area. In fifteen years I've been here, I'm not aware of any serious crimes outside of folks taking items from unlocked cars. We also have neighborhood watch and a block captain on each street to call in an emergency.
Now, just north of us, in the university area, is a whole different story. Local police very familiar with this area. :cool:
 
I think I have wanderlust. Working so long there was a lot I never got to do, not enough time, no extra money or I was just too darn tired. I think staying put is about what will happen, but I need to work harder at figuring out how to make it more tolerable. Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to my post. You know how when you meet someone, almost instantly your gut tells you if you if your going to like the person or not, my first instinct when I found this site was instant "like". I also have to say it doesn't get easier for us as we age, total agreement on that one, guess that's why we have to make the most of every day we are lucky enough to get. Look forward to seeing more of your posts. Thank you. Tilly
 
Thank you for checking in with your comments. It all adds up and helps me figuring it out. I think I got off to a late start with retirement, once I was ready to play there wasn't hardly anyone left to play with, so here I am floundering, follow the crowd that left a long time ago, or stay put and deal with what is, it's not my ideal situation but I know what it is, moving off might require more adjusting than I can handle. It might also make a difference if I was a couple, 2 together looks stronger from my solo point of view.
 
I think I'm just feeling the effects of getting a late start on retirement. I think this site will do a lot for me, lots of different people from all walks of life and all corners, I'm in and excited to be here. Thank you for your reply.
 
I think you are on point with your reply. I appreciate your honesty! Thanks for taking the time to reply to my post.
 
"Hoping to die instantly from a cardiac arrest."

Yep. The best we can hope for is to die in our sleep. Painless, no muss or fuss. imp
 
Getting off to a late start in retirement, lots of things are hitting me in the head, I didn't realize how close I was to the end until one day when I over heard someone else talking about their limited time left on this earth. I love to read the obituaries, so many interesting people, then I started looking at ages, so many younger than me, scary, but on the other hand, how lucky am I to still be here. Then a little panic sets in, I don't have years and years left, I better start to get a life today, LOL. Guess I'll take it day by day and see how it goes. Right now I'm heading for another cup of hot tea to warm me up, very cold here today. Thank you for your reply.
 
Tilly, when you reply to a particular post, if you select "reply with quote" we can all tell exactly which post you are replying to. Not a criticism, just a suggestion:eek:.

I can certainly identify with your comment about when you were ready to play there was no one left to play with! How true that is. I also think that feeling you describe about suddenly coming up short against your own mortality is pretty common. I know I had (and still have) those same feelings -- they were especially intense when I first retired. It was the sense of a door closing on another section of your life (and you're running out of sections!). Sometimes I have a feeling like "Who IS that woman in the mirror? Yesterday I was getting ready to go to the prom and now I'm old! What the hell happened here?" Scary stuff.
 
We moved back here 1 year ago, we are 81 & 80.

Our kids have mentioned moving back here where they grew up, when they retire. We may not last that long.

We couldn't afford the Pacific Northwest where they live now.
 
My Dh and I are 68. I have had 3 major back surgeries, the last was a 360. So needless to say chronic pain. I'm on heavy narcotics. See a pain doctor and receive spinal shots every 3 months. We are moving to Florida. My dh loves Florida. I am terrified of ice and snow, so looking forward to this move. And hoping it will help my back a little. We have three daughters her. But as you know, they have very busy lives. I am looking forward to a new life. Spent many, many years taking care of family. This is a new beginning for us. If things go downhill we will cope when it comes. I say, Silly Tilly, make a new life, new friends and new experiences. Good luck and I look forward to your new posts.
 
I will be 86 this coming July. I live in a retirement community in my own apartment.
I still cook my own meals and do my own shopping. I still drive my own car, but not very
far, just to the local shops. We have a small bus here that takes one shopping, and out
to various activities.
I enjoy some of the activities here, also the pool, hairdresser, yoga classes, etc.
I have made new friends here; at my age only a few of my old friends are around.
My son lives about 30mins. away and will sometimes take me shopping and is
always available in emergencies.
My daughter lives 6 hours away but comes to visit every 6 - 8 weeks, which
is great and stayed with me the whole time I was in the hospital 3 years ago
having a hip replacement.
I consider myself very lucky to be here and don't dwell too much on the future.
What will be will be.
 
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