Soul Mates

O

Oldpawn

New Member
I think people just project attributes to others while in love that don’t exist. Men and women are wired very differently and great comedy shows have shown this. Same sex couples have a better chance of being soul mates than opposite sex couples in my never humble estimation.
 

Oldpawn said:
I think people just project attributes to others while in love that don’t exist. Men and women are wired very differently and great comedy shows have shown this. Same sex couples have a better chance of being soul mates than opposite sex couples in my never humble estimation.
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I do agree that people often project attributes to others while in love that don’t exist.

With regard to same sex couples, I know nothing about their chances being better to be "soul mates".
 
I agree that people project attributes to others not only while in love but as a coping skill however I DO indeed believe people have soul mates and can have more than one. There’s a connection that can’t otherwise be explained but felt. It’s like a soul recognition.

Also, like RaddishRose, I have no experience with the same sex couple thing but I WILL say that I REALLY LOVE my girlfriends too:yes: with NO shame.
 

Beats me.

I do believe in the old saying that opposites attract.

Sometimes people that are both very different join forces to form a couple that is fantastic.

I think that you really need to get past the initial starry-eyed stage of love to really find out if you are compatible with another person.
 
Oldpawn said:
I think people just project attributes to others while in love that don’t exist. Men and women are wired very differently and great comedy shows have shown this. Same sex couples have a better chance of being soul mates than opposite sex couples in my never humble estimation.
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I don't use comedy shows as reference works for the nature of healthy human relations. But that's just me.
 
I question the use of the word love here. If you're seeing attributes in your partner that don’t exist then you are not in love with your partner, you're in love with someone you pretend or imagine your partner to be, or wish they were. I would call that puppy love. Like when you adore a puppy because it's so cute and a little awkward, and you imagine you'll be besties forever and ever. And then you're taken by surprise when your favorite shoes get pooped on or half-eaten, and when that cute little thing grows to monstrous proportions, wanders off regularly, constantly barks, burns through your paychecks, and completely ignores your every command. :p
 
Sometimes the starry-eyed stage develops into the beauty and respect, comfort and a deeper kind of excitement because of that person. There is a deep sharing with and without words which has nothing to do with sex. Sex is just a fringe benefit of the real thing. Years after the inception of the relationship, real love between two people can develop and last. If a person has never experienced this they cannot adequately speak to it. That is sad.
 
Phoenix said:
Sometimes the starry-eyed stage develops into the beauty and respect, comfort and a deeper kind of excitement because of that person. There is a deep sharing with and without words which has nothing to do with sex. Sex is just a fringe benefit of the real thing. Years after the inception of the relationship, real love between two people can develop and last. If a person has never experienced this they cannot adequately speak to it. That is sad.
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Well said. Very true on all counts.
 
Isn’t it the fact that men & women ARE in fact , wired differently , that makes it attractive to begin with?
Women don’t want someone just like them and men don’t want someone just like them either. Isn’t that where most of the chemistry comes from to start with? From there it blossoms into a more mature relationship built on trust, respect and understanding. It can be a wonderful thing.

My partner and I joke about the stereotypical roles and expectations that marriage often brings but that’s what makes it fun.
Its fun teasing the opposite sex about the differences but I wouldn’t want it any other way.
 
Phoenix said:
Sometimes the starry-eyed stage develops into the beauty and respect, comfort and a deeper kind of excitement because of that person. There is a deep sharing with and without words which has nothing to do with sex. Sex is just a fringe benefit of the real thing. Years after the inception of the relationship, real love between two people can develop and last. If a person has never experienced this they cannot adequately speak to it. That is sad.
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Yes. Exactly.
 
C_Sally said:
I question the use of the word love here. If you're seeing attributes in your partner that don’t exist then you are not in love with your partner, you're in love with someone you pretend or imagine your partner to be, or wish they were. I would call that puppy love. Like when you adore a puppy because it's so cute and a little awkward, and you imagine you'll be besties forever and ever. And then you're taken by surprise when your favorite shoes get pooped on or half-eaten, and when that cute little thing grows to monstrous proportions, wanders off regularly, constantly barks, burns through your paychecks, and completely ignores your every command. :p
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Great analogy !!
 
Soul Mates...…..definitely with wife and I. No doubt about it. Our personalities are somewhat different, but our "likes/interests" are almost shockingly the same, other than cooking. I like cooking, most of the time, and she doesn't. She does make a few great dishes, but 99% of cooking is left up to me. She will tell anyone, "that's why I married him" while laughing.

We both absolutely love doing things together. She never owned/used a firearm, but now has a Sig Sauer .22 handgun, S & W 9mm and Ruger 10-.22 rifle. I showed her how to load and shoot and she does a fine job of both. She's definitely not afraid of firearms. She knows how to drive and tie up our boat, but I do most of the driving.

We both, pretty much, have the same feelings about different things, which is very nice.

IOW, for the last 19 years, we've definitely been "Soul Mates".

As far as same-sex couples go, I worked for a few weeks, years ago, for two young lades that were a lesbian couple. Even though I don't believe/agree with the "same-sex" thing, I could tell, without a doubt, that the ladies really loved each other.
 
If I have a soul mate out there, I have never met him. However, I do believe that compatibility is VERY important. I say perfection in a relationship is 90% compatibility and 10% opposites. In old age sexy-love dissipates but at least you can be best friends who don't get on each other's nerves because you are too different and can't agree on anything.
 
There isn't necessarily just one soulmate for each of us, contrary to some of the thoughts on this. Sometimes soulmates move on, either pass away or have other commitments. At that point when we least expect it, another beautiful soul can present him or herself. Don't get me wrong, none of them or us are perfect. We all have bugs in us. But rather than get an exterminator, if we allow ourselves to grow with them and the relationships, it can allow the true deep connection to unfold. Sometimes we have to be open to it - to where it can take us. Fear because of past heartaches can get in the way of allowing ourselves to be open to it. But it can work.
 

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