Tact ?

IKE

IKE

Well-known Member
Location
Oklahoma....U.S.A.
Do you consider yourself tactful ?

I guess when it comes right down to it I'm really not all that tactful.....for better or worse I've always had a tendency to say what's on my mind.

Tact-is-the-ability-to-tell-someone-to-go-to-hell-in-such-a-way-that-they-look-forward-to-the-tr.jpg
 

I try to be :rolleyes: and certainly do appreciate it when another person is, especially if humorous!
 

If someone is wishing me to go to hell, I'd rather they tell me outright. If I'm wishing someone to go to hell, then I'm mostly likely not to say anything, unless I think it could lead to a good discussion and working out whatever is bothering us about each other. But just to say something not really nice just for the heck of it, no, not something I would normally do.
 
I try to always be tactful and considerate of other peoples feelings. My kids seem to lay everything on the line and sometimes it can be hurtful. When I mention this they ask me if I would rather have them lie than tell me the truth. I don't want that either but they could be a little more discreet as to how they go about it.
 
I wish I could say that I’m always tactful but I’m not.
To be brutally honest I’ve always been confused in this area.
People are always saying they want the truth but when you tell them the truth, they get upset.
People say they don’t like pretentiousness but results prove otherwise. I’ve just never done well doing this balancing act.


I understand Ruth’s point of view but I completely understand her kids point of view also.
Keeping it real is tough!
 
I hardly ever say what’s on my mind
Guess I’m a bit closed
Nobody really wants to hear what you got to say

….unless it’s about them

made a poster about it, back when I wasted time for a living;
TyzakYY.jpg


tactful?
I no longer know what that word is supposed to mean
 
Why not be tactful unless it's a serious matter. Someone buys something, a car, a dress, and shows or tells you about it, especially folks that might be somewhat less well off as yourself. Should you tell the guy that what he bought is a sh--box and you wouldn't want it even if it was given to you. Happened to me, years ago. The car was as I described but he was proud of it and had stopped by to show it to me. I dug up a few complimentary points regarding the car and I thought that was the better choice to make. Didn't cost me anything and he left feeling good about his "new" car.

Same could be said about many things. Would anyone be proud to tell their neighbor or relative that, after hearing their daughter sing during a school play, that she couldn't carry a note if you gave her a bucket to carry it in?? I think not.


When serious matters occur among friends and/or family, tact may have to take a back seat to reality but things can still be described in a less hurtful manner, unless you yourself take pride in being the "tell it like it is" type of person.
 
DaveA said:
Why not be tactful unless it's a serious matter. Someone buys something, a car, a dress, and shows or tells you about it, especially folks that might be somewhat less well off as yourself. Should you tell the guy that what he bought is a sh--box and you wouldn't want it even if it was given to you. Happened to me, years ago. The car was as I described but he was proud of it and had stopped by to show it to me. I dug up a few complimentary points regarding the car and I thought that was the better choice to make. Didn't cost me anything and he left feeling good about his "new" car.

Same could be said about many things. Would anyone be proud to tell their neighbor or relative that, after hearing their daughter sing during a school play, that she couldn't carry a note if you gave her a bucket to carry it in?? I think not.


When serious matters occur among friends and/or family, tact may have to take a back seat to reality but things can still be described in a less hurtful manner, unless you yourself take pride in being the "tell it like it is" type of person.
Click to expand...

I agree. No point in hurting people's feelings if it serves no useful purpose, like in your example about the daughter's singing. And in the one about the car, there's no purpose in telling the guy you think his car is crap after he has already bought it -- before the fact, yes, perhaps you could steer him to a better car, but after he has bought it and seems to like it,telling him it is a piece of crap is just hurtful.
 
I try!

I'm usually brutally honest with people that I care about and it's often true that they wish I cared a little less.

With the rest of the world, I usually tell them what I think they want to hear.
 

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