Telling lies

Bella said:
No one likes to be lied to or to admit to lying, but we all lie, regardless of how big or small the lies are. When someone asks you, "How are you?" and you reply, "I'm fine," when you're anything but fine, that's a lie. When someone invites you out and you don't feel like going and say, "Sorry, I can't, I'm busy," that's a lie. Everyone lies, it's just a matter of degrees.

Bella ✌️
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Even in those situations, I won't blurt out white lies. What I might say could be a terse diversion. If a days has been unpleasant, instead of saying, "I'm fine" or "ok", might just smile and say "Hi" like the greeting question went right by me or being frank with a smile, "have had better days". Another common situation is being on the phone with someone endlessly talking. I will let them continue for awhile and simply say something like. "Nice talking to you and will keep in touch". Another person will pick up on the cue without needing to make some excuse like, "I need to start my laundary" blah blah blah. Just as telling white lies is a habit, so can being honest using diversions.
 
"How are you?"

(Lie) "Ok" (truth) "I feel like s--- "

(Lie) I'm sorry" (truth) "I really don't care"

(Lie) "Thanks" (truth) "Gfy"

Yes, I have worked retail...🤣🤣🤣🤣
 

David777 said:
Even in those situations, I won't blurt out white lies. What I might say could be a terse diversion. If a days has been unpleasant, instead of saying, "I'm fine" or "ok", might just smile and say "Hi" like the greeting question went right by me or being frank with a smile, "have had better days". Another common situation is being on the phone with someone endlessly talking. I will let them continue for awhile and simply say something like. "Nice talking to you and will keep in touch". Another person will pick up on the cue without needing to make some excuse like, "I need to start my laundary" blah blah blah. Just as telling white lies is a habit, so can being honest using diversions.
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Do whatever works for you. :)
 
Rose65 said:
Do you tell lies?
I think it is impossible to live and get along in life without lying. Lies, direct and indirect can be for diplomatic reasons and to maintain privacy. Yet there are many matters about which honesty is very undesirable. Often I am just suitably vague or neutral, in the interests of keeping the peace.
Nobody wants to admit to lying but I bet everyone does - except perhaps a rare saint of a person.
The novelist Fyodor Dostoevsky said 'The most difficult thing in life is to live and not lie'. Would you agree or not?
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One principle I try to stick to when making a decision on whether to tell a fib is whether the question you're being asked is intrusive, and if so you can expect a whole lot of nonsense to come forth from my mouth! :)
 
BC Flash said:
My Dad told me that liars should have good memories. (ie not to be caught "spinning" another story to the same person!)
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This is one reason I don't lie -- not the big whoppers, anyway -- it's too hard. White lies, I do if I think it is necessary (to not hurt someone's feelings).

Come to think of it, when people say, "I'm fine", a bunch of times they are lying. It's just a social habit, or they don't want to discuss anything with the person to whom they are speaking. So that would be a white lie. I do that all the time.

If I feel like lying, I change the subject or I say "I don't want to discuss that". It's pretty simple. Or I say "no" and don't offer an explanation (which would be a lie in order to save their feelings).

I don't let people assume things about me which are not true. I went to church once, and was frank about being an atheist, as was my son. The difference between my son and me was that he was willing to discuss the subject, and I was not because it bores me. I know a lot of church-goers who haven't read the bible or anything about its contents. I am not in the business of teaching people about aspects of their religion.

Also, to my surprise, and even though I wear a wedding ring, people assume I am divorced. I have to be real up front about being married, or some of the older gents will ask me out. So I make it clear -- I meet a senior citizen man, and I say "I'm married", so they don't get any ideas.
 
Apparently, I have a very expressive face. People know what I'm thinking. It's freaky when someone can tell you your private thoughts. So, I can't lie, not that I don't want to: but because everybody can see I'm lying. I do most of my lying over the phone.
 
Some lies are illegal...

A judge on Friday refused to dismiss Dominion Voting Systems’ $1.6bn defamation lawsuit against Fox News, clearing the way for the case to proceed to trial beginning in mid-April.

The judge denied Fox’s motion for summary judgment, instead granting Dominion’s motion in part.

“The evidence developed in this civil proceeding demonstrates that is CRYSTAL clear that none of the Statements relating to Dominion about the 2020 election are true,” the judge wrote. “Therefore, the Court will grant summary judgment in favor of Dominion on the element of falsity.”
https://www.theguardian.com/media/2023/mar/31/fox-news-dominion-voting-systems-case-trial
 
NorthernLight said:
I think we all have different definitions of lying. On another forum, we were discussing whether a romantic prospect was giving someone the brushoff. Someone said no, if he was ending it, he would have said so. To me, he did say so, very clearly, but in a "polite" way. Where do you draw the line?
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Romantic situations are a minefield, full of little and big lies....
 
Yes, I do if it will save someone else from hurt feelings in any way. There is no point in that.
 
chic said:
Yes, I do if it will save someone else from hurt feelings in any way. There is no point in that.
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Its a slippery slope though isn't it, with just a chance you might think you're doing the right thing by resisting saying what you know to be true, this can be discovered leading them to trust you a little bit less in future, (even if they agree you acted correctly).

My brother once rang me at work to tell me there had been a small fire at our family farm, and when I got home I found most of the upstairs rooms had been alight (due to a fire caused by an electrical fault), and only the speedy intervention of two local fire service engines arriving within six minute saved the building. When I got home at the normal time the thick stone walls of the farmhouse were still radiating heat but in that case making sure I didn't panic and drive home in a rush was definitely the correct course of action.
 

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