The "Alone" Club

Ruthanne

SF VIP
Location
Midwest
I just had an idea of creating a thread especially for those of us who are finding ourselves alone now.

How are you doing today, what's new, anything special on your mind? You are all welcome here.


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Bring whatever you wish to this thread to share for all of us lonesters! ;)
 

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I have exhausted, several times, my efforts to find something I can do, will do, and like to do that is a 4 or so an hour a day job- mainly covid isolated--seems like I could find something.-I have a loooonnnngggg list of stuff I wont do, don't want to do-namely phones personal contact with public dealing with angry demanding people - and typing---not going to do it.....period..what is left....that pretty much eliminates all c/s and online jobs......

There might might be something somewhere that would involve mac's and supporting a one or two person shop- as an minimal typing assisting support type-

Someone on here may say the magic word that will tweak an idea that I have not yet researched.....likely it will generate the inevitable opportunity for repeated and unproductive criticism --go for it.I am good with it.....and have a nice day-
 

I'm alone now and quite happy to converse with others in the same situation. However, I enjoy being alone so you won't get any whingeing from me. I am now able to spend time on the things I enjoy without having to explain myself to anyone. I can watch the afternoon movie and not have to get up before it's finished, because I have to make a meal. I can sit there until it's ended and then get something to eat. I can re-arrange my furniture as often as I wish.
In other words, living with other people causes a lot of hassle. Being alone gives you freedom to please yourself.
 
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I'm alone now and quite happy to converse with others in the same situation. However, I enjoy being alone so you won't get any whingeing from me. I am now able to spend time on the things I enjoy without having to explain myself to anyone. I can watch the afternoon movie and not have to get up before it's finished, because I have to make a meal. I can sit there until it's ended and then get something to eat. I can re-arrange my furniture as often as I wish.
In other words, living with other people causes a lot of hassle. Being alone gives you freedom to please yourself.
This is an issue for many. I don't have a problem with it for many of the same reasons you mentioned. It's a life choice for me. Sometimes I wish I had another person around, usually to share a wonderful experience, but NOT being alone comes with it's share of problems too. Being alone can be a wonderful experience. Here's an extreme example: Years ago, after leaving Chicago for good, I found myself in the mountains of Montana. I loved hiking the wilderness trails and high lakes. I was new to the area, and was yet to meet friends. So here I was by myself at a high lake with no one around for miles on a two day over night-er, and I became hyper sensitive to that magical feeling of being alone. I was filled with gratitude. I know that experience is special, relying on a certain context of a perfect kind of "alone," but I naturally gravitate to that.

If people need others nearby, I understand that too. Humans are social creatures, and I can understand that many struggle with being alone. I can actually relate to it because all of us have probably experienced that need at sometime or another.
 
'That magical feeling of being alone'.....I can so relate to that. I can't get into a spiritual feeling while there are other people around me. I can go into the woods and feel connected to nature but, as soon as people arrive on the scene, the feeling vanishes. Humans give off coarse energy, which affects the atmosphere around them.
 
Dog walking ?
As I write this at my computer, my new puppy, which became part of my home three weeks ago, is under the desk, lying on my feet. It's a wonderful experience, but not less than 10 minutes ago we were having an altercation over him jumping on me scratching and biting with his puppy teeth, and the little bugger had the audacity to argue with me about it. Yes, puppies argue in their own insistent puppy way, and before that, he peed on the floor.

I love the little guy, but having him around can be stressful. Simply stressful is the exact way to describe it. But it's worth it, so I understand why people will deal with the stress caused by the presence of others. Well, I assume they experience such stress. I do enjoy others being around too, but sometimes I need to get away, and not being able to fulfill that need when it comes is worse than being alone (for me).
 
'That magical feeling of being alone'.....I can so relate to that. I can't get into a spiritual feeling while there are other people around me. I can go into the woods and feel connected to nature but, as soon as people arrive on the scene, the feeling vanishes. Humans give off coarse energy, which affects the atmosphere around them.
Yes, there are many wonderful experiences that can only happen when you are alone.
 
I'm alone now and quite happy to converse with others in the same situation. However, I enjoy being alone so you won't get any whingeing from me. I am now able to spend time on the things I enjoy without having to explain myself to anyone. I can watch the afternoon movie and not have to get up before it's finished, because I have to make a meal. I can sit there until it's ended and then get something to eat. I can re-arrange my furniture as often as I wish.
In other words, living with other people causes a lot of hassle. Being alone gives you freedom to please yourself.
Yes there certainly are good things about being alone 🙂 I don't have to answer to anybody.
 
Well, Sure I miss intimacy, laughter, sharing incredible moments with a big, hunky man. But, I look at being alone at this time of my life as a growth period. I have a lot more time for spiritual communication, for creating. I love solitude for writing poetry, articles, stories., books. I enjoy sculpting, painting, and many ideas come forth in one's aloneness.
Time and how it's spent is dictated only by me. I can listen to Roy Orbison at 3:00 A.M., eat beef stroganoff for breakfast, take a bubble bath in the middle of the afternoon. I can stick my dog in the car and take off to some mountain stream, or go watch the Sun come up.
I guess solitude has good aspects and bad, but I'm adjusting. I don't really have friends or family here.
Self-indulgence is a strange feeling.
 
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Not enough time in the day to think about it. I've got 2 dogs that follow me from room to room, I walk them at least twice a day and make doglover friends that way, feed them better than I feed myself which requires prepping and cooking, groom them myself.

I travel short distances to visit family, attend outdoor farmers markets, outdoor art shows, seafood festivals,
azalea festival...oh my, so many bring their pets to these outdoor events...so much fun and dog lovers are all friendly there.

My 4 kids text me about 3 times a day and for fun I make art using artsy looking rocks, shells, etc I find on the beach. I check on my house still being re-built from studs and make lots of decisions and choices (I'm living at the ocean but not in my house yet)

I run errands, ride my bike I got for Christmas, clean house, do paperwork, get on SF etc...no time to think I'm alone.
 
Well, Sure I miss intimacy, laughter, sharing incredible moments with a big, hunky man. But, I look at being alone at this time of my life as a growth period. I have a lot more time for spiritual communication, for creating. I love solitude for writing poetry, articles, stories., books. I enjoy sculpting, painting, and many ideas come forth in one's aloneness.
Time and how it's spent is dictated only by me. I can listen to Roy Orbison at 3:00 A.M., eat beef stroganoff for breakfast, take a bubble bath in the middle of the afternoon. I can stick my dog in the car and take off to some mountain stream, or go watch the Sun come up.
I guess solitude has good aspects and bad, but I'm adjusting. I don't really have friends or family here.
Self-indulgence is a strange feeling.
Sounds like you use your time very wisely. You are an inspiration to me. I was really into art many years ago. I need to give myself a good kick to get back to it😋
 
I have exhausted, several times, my efforts to find something I can do, will do, and like to do that is a 4 or so an hour a day job- mainly covid isolated--seems like I could find something.-I have a loooonnnngggg list of stuff I wont do, don't want to do-namely phones personal contact with public dealing with angry demanding people - and typing---not going to do it.....period..what is left....that pretty much eliminates all c/s and online jobs......



there might might be something somewhere that would involve mac's and supporting a one or two person shop- as an minimal typing assisting support type-



someone on here may say the magic word that will tweak an idea that I have not yet researched.....likely it will generate the inevitable opportunity for repeated and unproductive criticism --go for it.I am good with it.....and have a nice day-
Good luck with it👍😀
 
I'm alone now and quite happy to converse with others in the same situation. However, I enjoy being alone so you won't get any whingeing from me. I am now able to spend time on the things I enjoy without having to explain myself to anyone. I can watch the afternoon movie and not have to get up before it's finished, because I have to make a meal. I can sit there until it's ended and then get something to eat. I can re-arrange my furniture as often as I wish.
In other words, living with other people causes a lot of hassle. Being alone gives you freedom to please yourself.
I agree. I lived all of my life with others, much of the time as a care giver and I am totally at peace with living alone. I don't believe I would ever want to live with anyone again. I am at a place in my life where I can do what I want. I have quite a few years of work left so much of my time is spent working but I enjoy the peace and quiet of being alone.
 
I did. I posted my "concerns" for others who live alone by sharing some ideas of things I do that help me.

And "I talked about anything". So what is your point?

Okay, guess I won't join your "Alone Club" :giggle: It's okay...I just found your critique of my post to be a bit odd and exclusive.
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I think the usual assumption is that people who live alone are lonely. However, the responses on here have been positive ones from people who actually appreciate the benefits of not sharing your life with someone. I think perhaps Ruthanne intended this to be a sort of 'therapy' thread for those who ARE lonely and need sympathy and comfort. The thread doesn't seem to have attracted the lonesome ones yet.
 
Well I admit I'm lonely... I don't have 4 kids to keep me company and to text me several times a day, I don't have a bike , for Christmas or any other time.. and I think I might kill myself on a bike these days.. I don't have nearby museums and beaches to go to.... sorry Lara not picking on you, but the other side of the coin are people like me whose only adult child works full time, and lives 2 hours away , so I get a text once a day sometimes every other day, and a 15 minute phone call once a week. I haven't seen her since Christmas

I don't know why people always feel so proud about saying ''I'm alone but not lonely''... not here on this thread, but everywhere.. it's like they feel that it's shameful to admit they're lonely...

I'm a people person..people energise me... but I'm also someone who values their own space and lone time to do what I please when I please... for the first time in decades.. I'm alone.. and living in a rural area, with no clubs to join etc, and just a few friends who I see occasionally, because they have their own families...so I'm extremely grateful for everyone on this forum, who give me a purpose, and someone to tell my troubles.. and achievements to... 🤗
 
I just figured out why I keep flunking retirement! The money is nice and well needed, of course, but I need to be around the lights and the people. I liked being a cleaning fairy except that my clients were rarely home. I liked being a customer service rep except that it required a whole lot of phone time and not a lot of face-to-face time. I liked being the head housekeeper in a hotel because there were lots of people around. See where this is going? LOL

As most of you know, I live in a granny flat attached to my DD/DSIL's house. We're all under the same roof, but my place is separate and self-contained with my own entrance but connected by a back hall to theirs. They live their own lives. I depend on them for transpo and for stuff like, you know, changing light bulbs, And tech help because I'm challenged in that department!

They come and go over here as needed and sometimes just to visit (always knocking before entering) and DD works from home except one morning a week. Her office is on the east end of the house and upstairs; my place is ground level on the west end so mostly we communicate via text rather than hike through the rest of the house and up and down the stairs. (Teehee...just got a text from her!)

So. I'm alone without really being alone. I enjoy having somewhere to go and something to do five days a week. I need to be out and about and interacting/conversing with the rest of my part of the world.

@hollydolly, my wish for you is that you find something interesting to do and somewhere interesting to go a few days a week, with the bonus of being paid for it 💰
 

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