grahamg
Old codger
- Location
- South of Manchester, UK
I've rallied away on this topic many times, with a mixed reception, it has to be admitted, but "I'll have just one more go",(whether it is truly the last we'll have to see).
A child being told its only their interests that matter, could be assumed to being brought to the realisation he or she must choose one parent over the other, (the one they live with and does most for them as a result, you'd have to think being in the strongest position to do this).
All the child has to know is the level of disapproval felt by the parent they reside with towards the other patent, in order to sway the child's consideration of what might be in their interests, to avoid getting in their bad books, or equally, allow the child to feel they have the approval of the parent they live with most of the time, (withdrawal of approval proving such a large weapon as we know, in the upbringing of a child).
Some see the solution as being " equal parenting" after divorce, essentially having both parents attempt to pretend they have the same role, is how I would characterise it, but this inevitably means the child is deprived of the constant presence of one parent at least in their lives, (as they obviously can no longer have both constantly present).
Courts still tend to favour allowing one parent to become the main care giver, even where legislation is in place to permit shared care, or "equal parenting" to become the norm, (I think those fathers desiring equal parenting legislation in the UK are maybe not thinking about the "poisoned chalice", forcing oneself to encounter the ex more often might be, as shared parenting must entail).
There we are, fight as you might to keep your child in your life, and you in theirs, for whatever reason you believe you're doing so, there is a logic behind children being told to always consider their own interests first, and the rejection of one patent in my view. .
A child being told its only their interests that matter, could be assumed to being brought to the realisation he or she must choose one parent over the other, (the one they live with and does most for them as a result, you'd have to think being in the strongest position to do this).
All the child has to know is the level of disapproval felt by the parent they reside with towards the other patent, in order to sway the child's consideration of what might be in their interests, to avoid getting in their bad books, or equally, allow the child to feel they have the approval of the parent they live with most of the time, (withdrawal of approval proving such a large weapon as we know, in the upbringing of a child).
Some see the solution as being " equal parenting" after divorce, essentially having both parents attempt to pretend they have the same role, is how I would characterise it, but this inevitably means the child is deprived of the constant presence of one parent at least in their lives, (as they obviously can no longer have both constantly present).
Courts still tend to favour allowing one parent to become the main care giver, even where legislation is in place to permit shared care, or "equal parenting" to become the norm, (I think those fathers desiring equal parenting legislation in the UK are maybe not thinking about the "poisoned chalice", forcing oneself to encounter the ex more often might be, as shared parenting must entail).
There we are, fight as you might to keep your child in your life, and you in theirs, for whatever reason you believe you're doing so, there is a logic behind children being told to always consider their own interests first, and the rejection of one patent in my view. .