Thoughts on pre-marital intimacy

Very outdated and tacky saying. All these years and you're still thinking about that, lol. People today are not so uptight, marriage means less than a good relationship overall, and getting to know each other in all aspects of life. If you find someone who you feel you love, loves you, and you can share your life with, then you may get married. Not too late for you Deb, get out more often, you may meet a nice man who makes you happy.
 
SeaBreeze is right. A female colleague of my father had her first sexual relationship with a man in her 60s and married him later. I think it is never too late.
But to your question debodun, today there are only a few very religious people who are against pre-marital sexual intimacy. It's their decision. But even in former times intimacy before marriage was not unusual.
 
My experience with most women today is that by the fifth or sixth date, and we’re hitting it off well, they will ask me to come for dinner and stay for breakfast. And most have no intention of marrying me or any other man ever again.

I agree the test drive nonsense is just that, nonsense.
 
Well, Wren I can't imagine the human female version of a clapped out old banger. That's the most insulting one yet.
debodun said:
you never buy a car without test-driving it first.
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That was the 1970's.
Before that in the 1950's it was, "Why buy the cow if the milk is free?"

I started dating in the 1960's when half the men believed one of those things and the other half the other thing.
 
Obviously there is no pat answer to should we do it or not - before marriage.

I seriously doubt many younger folks would wait, for sexual compatibility is a big deal. And if it isn't a big deal, then once married it could very well turn out to be one. And I do believe these days its as big a deal for a woman, as it is for a man regardless of sexual orientation.

From what I've seen/heard, abstinence before marriage (here in America) is a pretty rare thing now adays - especially for young folks. Heck, most all I know of personally live together first.

Ideally, I wish folks got married, had sex, had children, loved each other and stayed together happily until "death do us part". But that just is such a rarity, its pitiful. Believe me, I know.
 
When I was a kid I thought that those of my parents generation all waited until they got married. My dad was born in 1930 and my mom was born in 1931. One of the biggest shocks in my life was when my dad told me that both he and my mom had sex before they got married and that both had intimate relationships with others before they did meet Perhaps they were the exception to the rule at the time but it really was a shock to me and just another reminder that my parents were once younger and human.

This conversation came up because when I was in college my girlfriend and I were making plans to move in together and I was worried how my parents would react so I told my dad before we did move in together.
 
MarkinPhx said:
When I was a kid I thought that those of my parents generation all waited until they got married. My dad was born in 1930 and my mom was born in 1931. One of the biggest shocks in my life was when my dad told me that both he and my mom had sex before they got married and that both had intimate relationships with others before they did meet Perhaps they were the exception to the rule at the time but it really was a shock to me and just another reminder that my parents were once younger and human.

This conversation came up because when I was in college my girlfriend and I were making plans to move in together and I was worried how my parents would react so I told my dad before we did move in together.
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I was under no such illusion. I was born 3 months before my parents got married.. they'd timed it all wrong.. not helped by me being 2 months premature.. and my father expecting his divorce from his previous wife to have gone through quicker.. so I always knew I was born outside of wedlock.
 
One size does not fit all. Some people choose to engage in a sexual relationship while others don’t unless there is a formal commitment. If someone wants to do a test drive, then both parties should be equally involved – after all perhaps, just perhaps, a woman will not be keen on how a the man conducts the test drive.
 
MarkinPhx said:
When I was a kid I thought that those of my parents generation all waited until they got married. My dad was born in 1930 and my mom was born in 1931. One of the biggest shocks in my life was when my dad told me that both he and my mom had sex before they got married and that both had intimate relationships with others before they did meet Perhaps they were the exception to the rule at the time but it really was a shock to me and just another reminder that my parents were once younger and human.
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They were not the exception

Number of shotgun weddings and adoptions of babies would prove otherwise - and of course that is only those who were 'caught out'

More people than now might have waited for marriage and certainly far less people moved in together first or were open about being sexually active - but that doesnt mean it didnt happen and happen often
 
I know my mother waited for marriage, but she was born in 1915.

I just looked it up and only about 50% of high school kids have done it. They aren't as wild as I thought.

If I had it all to do over again I think I'd wait, maybe forever.
 
Why is intimacy a forgone conclusion to marriage or a long-term relationship? I love a woman's body next to mine, however, it does not mean I am interested in marriage just because we done it.
 
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