She may be in denial. When that happens, the person doesn't realize it. It's different from convincing yourself nothing is wrong. You really think nothing is wrong! It's a defense mechanism that I have personal experience with. Long story short, I was in the hospital for 6 weeks due to preterm labor, pregnant with triplets. I refused to believe they would be born prematurely, and not for lack of the nurses and doctors trying to persuade me of that. Talking to me was like banging their heads against a brick wall.
The triplets were born 13 weeks early (27 weeks). They are now 22 years old. When the nurses said the head was crowning, I asked what that meant. They said that a baby was being born. I said, well, just push it back in. They won't be born until Memorial Day. This denial continued all the way into surgery (c-section). I said what are we doing here in an operating room -- I am supposed to be getting magnesium sulfate to stop labor. The first baby was born naturally. I could not give birth because I hadn't had the classes yet. When it was obvious I couldn't stop the birth, I told them to sew me up so the other two would stay in utero for at least 2 more months.
The last two were born by c-section. When I woke up in recovery I felt like myself for the first time in months. I had nearly come to my senses. When they wanted to wheel my bed into the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, I said no, I cannot meet my babies when I'm not wearing any make-up. Then full rationality kicked back in, and I was terrified. I called my father, and he persuaded me to go see them. I was terrified that would die -- the smallest one weighed 1 lb, 6 oz, the next 1 lb. 12 oz, and the last nearly 2 lbs. They had little flaps of skin for ears and no eyelashes or fingernails, and they could not breathe on their own for about 6 weeks.
Anyway, that's my experience with denial. I didn't think it up, and it hasn't happened before or since. I was completely unaware I was in denial. That's how great my terror was that my babies would die.
Older people have to worry about death, nursing homes, surgery, painful terminal illnesses. Sometimes it may be that they consciously refuse to face that something may be terribly wrong with them, and sometimes they are in denial. That's my amateur opinion (I am not a shrink).
