Wedding Ring Protocol Question

B

Buckeye

Well-known Member
All - This is a small thing, but I'd appreciate what you have to say. As some of you know I lost my lovely bride of 12+ years to cancer a little over a year ago. I still wear the wedding ring she gave me all the time. I basically never take it off. And, although I have a kinda, sorta, lady friendish on the mainland, I only see her every six months or so. I'm planning on moving back to the mainland, so I'm really not looking for a relationship here on the Island.

So is it okay for me to keep wearing the wedding ring? Am I supposed to stop wearing it at some point? Would it be a problem for you ladies if you met a man who continued to wear his?

I dunno. And, again, I know it is not a major issue.

Mahalo.
 

If you are interested in anything than a very casual relationship with this lady, I think you'll want to take off that ring when you return to the mainland. Otherwise the lady may think you are not interested in anything more than being friends. At least that's how I'd see it. I think the wedding ring says you are not really available.

What would your reaction be if the ring was on the other finger, so to speak?
 
Butterfly said:
If you are interested in anything than a very casual relationship with this lady, I think you'll want to take off that ring when you return to the mainland. Otherwise the lady may think you are not interested in anything more than being friends. At least that's how I'd see it. I think the wedding ring says you are not really available.

What would your reaction be if the ring was on the other finger, so to speak?
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Butterfly - Good question, and I guess I don't know. Fact is, at this point I'm okay with just a casual thing.

Marie - The ring won't fit on my right hand, so I can't do that.
 
My suggestion is one that I am going to do soon. Lost my wife 5 years ago and I am going to find a jeweler who can take my ring for the vertical part of a cross and hers for the horizontal part. Both rings will be flattened to make the cross 2 sided with hers in the inside of mine. Then just thread a chain through it
 
hauntedtexan said:
My suggestion is one that I am going to do soon. Lost my wife 5 years ago and I am going to find a jeweler who can take my ring for the vertical part of a cross and hers for the horizontal part. Both rings will be flattened to make the cross 2 sided with hers in the inside of mine. Then just thread a chain through it
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Sounds great, but won't work for me - she wanted my youngest grandson to have her ring whenever he was ready marry.
 
I would not even date a woman who wore a wedding ring. The ring itself stands for commitment and steadfastness.

What jewellery she wore on other fingers, or on a chain round her neck wouldn't bother me.
 
hauntedtexan said:
Her grand daughter received the ring with the stones, My idea only utilizes the wedding bands.
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this may be TMI, but I was hubby #3, and she did not want a traditional engagement ring & wedding band, so I got her very, very nice ring with stones. She help me pick it out so it was exactly what she wanted. I assume grandson's wife may use it as an engagement ring or just fine jewelry. (Grandson is 24 but no steady girlfriend, so this is all hypothetical..) My DIL has custody of the ring now.
 
Hoot N Annie said:
All - This is a small thing, but I'd appreciate what you have to say. As some of you know I lost my lovely bride of 12+ years to cancer a little over a year ago. I still wear the wedding ring she gave me all the time. I basically never take it off. And, although I have a kinda, sorta, lady friendish on the mainland, I only see her every six months or so. I'm planning on moving back to the mainland, so I'm really not looking for a relationship here on the Island.

So is it okay for me to keep wearing the wedding ring? Am I supposed to stop wearing it at some point? Would it be a problem for you ladies if you met a man who continued to wear his?

I dunno. And, again, I know it is not a major issue.

Mahalo.
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I don't know about the hard rules on such things. I know if I lost my husband I would want to keep wearing my wedding band every day, but I probably wouldn't be wanting to date anyone either. If I met a guy somewhere that I was interested in, and he was wearing a wedding band, I would have to ask first and foremost if he was married. In a case like yours, I'd understand him still wearing the ring. If we never planned marriage ourselves, I probably wouldn't object to his wearing it for sentimental value. But, if we became engaged ourselves and planned to marry, he's have to stop wearing the band.
 
To me it would be a big deal. No ring. I don't even think I'd like it on the other hand. I wouldn't even go out for coffee and a donut with a man wearing a wedding ring. Since there is such a variety of thoughts here maybe you should ask your lady friend how she feels about it when you hit the mainland.
 
Iodine said:
To me it would be a big deal. No ring. I don't even think I'd like it on the other hand. I wouldn't even go out for coffee and a donut with a man wearing a wedding ring. Since there is such a variety of thoughts here maybe you should ask your lady friend how she feels about it when you hit the mainland.
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Good idea! I visited her for several times last fall, the last time for a week, and I never even thought about it and she did not comment. I hope to visit again in a month or so, and I'll certainly ask.
 
If she's seen you wearing the ring it must not bother her. Does she wear a wedding ring? It sounds like you have something to look forward to in the coming months. My best to both of you.
 
You said that wearing your ring wasn't an "issue". Well, if that's the case, why are you still wearing your departed wife's ring on your finger? To me, it seems that wearing that ring is an issue. And I believe women, who see you wearing that ring, view it as an issue.
 
fuzzybuddy said:
You said that wearing your ring wasn't an "issue". Well, if that's the case, why are you still wearing your departed wife's ring on your finger? To me, it seems that wearing that ring is an issue. And I believe women, who see you wearing that ring, view it as an issue.
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When I say its not an "major issue", I'm saying it doesn't rank up there with world peace or global warming or Trump/Clinton. That's all.

Mahalo
 
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