Well shooot...just talked with Mail Boy,

hawkdon

hawkdon

Well-known Member
Location
Liberty MO
and he's going thru he77 this week...had not seen him all week....turns out
(he is 11yo) the family is in turmoil....it seems the couple is going to divorce,
then the mother went into hospital this week and still there, the father is
staying to watch boys 4 of them till the mother comes home. The young'un
started crying while telling me all this.....:cry:😰😩 I gave him a big hug, and
told him to come by anytime for a chat, and said it will eventually be okay....dunno how to comfort someone so young who's going thru this kind
of crap.....dangitall!!!!! 😫😭🤬
 

Well the poor little guy... lots of us went through the same thing as kids.. and the one thing I didn't have but would have loved to have had is a safe place to go to just BE... maybe to chat, maybe just to feel someone cared... who wouldn't tell my parents...

if you can do that for him, let him know he can just come and sit , anytime he likes, that will be a big help...
 

hawkdon said:
and he's going thru he77 this week...had not seen him all week....turns out
(he is 11yo) the family is in turmoil....it seems the couple is going to divorce,
then the mother went into hospital this week and still there, the father is
staying to watch boys 4 of them till the mother comes home. The young'un
started crying while telling me all this.....:cry:😰😩 I gave him a big hug, and
told him to come by anytime for a chat, and said it will eventually be okay....dunno how to comfort someone so young who's going thru this kind
of crap.....dangitall!!!!! 😫😭🤬
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You did good, Hawkie. The boy needed that hug and invitation to visit. 🌹
 
hawkdon said:
and he's going thru he77 this week...had not seen him all week....turns out
(he is 11yo) the family is in turmoil....it seems the couple is going to divorce,
then the mother went into hospital this week and still there, the father is
staying to watch boys 4 of them till the mother comes home. The young'un
started crying while telling me all this.....:cry:😰😩 I gave him a big hug, and
told him to come by anytime for a chat, and said it will eventually be okay....dunno how to comfort someone so young who's going thru this kind
of crap.....dangitall!!!!! 😫😭🤬
Click to expand...
Sure you do; you have a lot of compassion!

Just listen, keep giving hugs. He is going through a rough time. It is good that you are there for him. You can't fix everything, but you can make him feel cared about, like he matters.
 
feywon said:
So many kids have no-one to turn to in such times since extended families don't live as close to each other as they once did.
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Pinky said:
I would have given my eye-teeth to have had someone to talk to, when I was a kid.
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Same here. There were a couple of teachers at school who I admired and seemed like great people but I never got the feeling that I could confide in them.

An interesting study done a while back (I think it was in Ohio in one of the "rust-belt" area) of disfunctional families where only one of the kids turned out okay. And the study found that it wasn't a case of "well, that one kid was a better, more disciplined person than their siblings who didn't even make an effort to rise above their terrible childhoods." On the contrary, in 100 percent of the cases, the one kid who turned out okay had an adult other than their parents--maybe aunt, uncle, grandparent, adult neighbor, teacher, coach, etc.--who was there for the kid and the siblings did not. So it makes a difference.
 
Good of you to listen to him, and comfort him as you did. The best part is, he now knows he has someone who will listen to him and give him some kindness and affection,🤗 regardless of his family situation. Please reassure him that his parent's break-up is through no fault of his.
 
Jules said:
Don, maybe you can make up some little chore that you could ask for his help. It might make him feel needed. It would give him a reason to come see you. Have some cookies available.
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Jules, it so happens that my yearly issue of TOPSY's popcorn
Christmas Gifts arrived today, I usually give the family a large
tin of assorted flavored popcorn....but I think I'm going to order
each boy a single flavor smaller bucket of 'corn, they can share
between each other....
 
hawkdon said:
and he's going thru he77 this week...had not seen him all week....turns out
(he is 11yo) the family is in turmoil....it seems the couple is going to divorce,
then the mother went into hospital this week and still there, the father is
staying to watch boys 4 of them till the mother comes home. The young'un
started crying while telling me all this.....:cry:😰😩 I gave him a big hug, and
told him to come by anytime for a chat, and said it will eventually be okay....dunno how to comfort someone so young who's going thru this kind
of crap.....dangitall!!!!! 😫😭🤬
Click to expand...
You did good...not to worry.
 
officerripley said:
Same here. There were a couple of teachers at school who I admired and seemed like great people but I never got the feeling that I could confide in them.

An interesting study done a while back (I think it was in Ohio in one of the "rust-belt" area) of disfunctional families where only one of the kids turned out okay. And the study found that it wasn't a case of "well, that one kid was a better, more disciplined person than their siblings who didn't even make an effort to rise above their terrible childhoods." On the contrary, in 100 percent of the cases, the one kid who turned out okay had an adult other than their parents--maybe aunt, uncle, grandparent, adult neighbor, teacher, coach, etc.--who was there for the kid and the siblings did not. So it makes a difference.
Click to expand...
There are similar studies, including in urban and suburban settings, without the component of being only child in a family to do well in life, but with similar results: Despite what difficulties they endure children's natural resilience is bolstered by having one person in their life that really 'saw' them and cared about them.
 
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@hawkdon, I admire your compassion for this child but be very careful to protect yourself. Avoid physical contact with him and don't take him inside the house. His parents, feeling guilty, could make accusations against you.

That said, continue to show interest and allow him to visit you outside. Let him help you in the yard because that will also help him.
 
Warrigal said:
@hawkdon, I admire your compassion for this child but be very careful to protect yourself. Avoid physical contact with him and don't take him inside the house. His parents, feeling guilty, could make accusations against you.

That said, continue to show interest and allow him to visit you outside. Let him help you in the yard because that will also help him.
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Grateful for your advice, however, i have known the whole
family for several years. He comes in whenever he delivers
my mail.....
 
feywon said:
There similar studies, including in urban and suburban settings, without the component of being only child in a family to do well in life, but with similar results: Despite what difficulties they endure children's natural resilience is bolstered by having one person in their life that really 'saw' them and cared about them.
Click to expand...
Yes, it's so heartbreaking that there are so many children growing up who don't have even one person who cares whether they live or die, tragic.
 
officerripley said:
Same here. There were a couple of teachers at school who I admired and seemed like great people but I never got the feeling that I could confide in them.

An interesting study done a while back (I think it was in Ohio in one of the "rust-belt" area) of disfunctional families where only one of the kids turned out okay. And the study found that it wasn't a case of "well, that one kid was a better, more disciplined person than their siblings who didn't even make an effort to rise above their terrible childhoods." On the contrary, in 100 percent of the cases, the one kid who turned out okay had an adult other than their parents--maybe aunt, uncle, grandparent, adult neighbor, teacher, coach, etc.--who was there for the kid and the siblings did not. So it makes a difference.
Click to expand...

I can relate to that study and think it's so true.
 

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